Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Sadly accepting responsibility to care for someone can seriously jeopardize the long-term financial well-being of a younger caregiver, including children, nieces/nephews, etc. I know a number of instances where people, usually single middle-aged women, had to quit their jobs due to round the clock care, ended up moving into the parents' home to provide the care, were out of the work force for a number of years, then lose the home when the state forces a liquidation when the parent/elder moves into a long-term care as they can no longer be accommodated at home. Regrettably, it makes no financial sense for a younger person to make these choices. It's horrible, but it is the reality, especially for single people with no other source of income as the care needs preclude their working.

My cousin was only able to do this as she was retired, not flush but okay, and her mom, who was fairly ambulatory at the time, moved into her home. My cousin never jeopardized her house, which is her only asset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Sadly accepting responsibility to care for someone can seriously jeopardize the long-term financial well-being of a younger caregiver, including children, nieces/nephews, etc. I know a number of instances where people, usually single middle-aged women, had to quit their jobs due to round the clock care, ended up moving into the parents' home to provide the care, were out of the work force for a number of years, then lose the home when the state forces a liquidation when the parent/elder moves into a long-term care as they can no longer be accommodated at home. Regrettably, it makes no financial sense for a younger person to make these choices. It's horrible, but it is the reality, especially for single people with no other source of income as the care needs preclude their working.

My cousin was only able to do this as she was retired, not flush but okay, and her mom, who was fairly ambulatory at the time, moved into her home. My cousin never jeopardized her house, which is her only asset.

Kids are not financially responsible for their parents.

What will the state do if elder is destitute (no house, minimal cash in bank), but adult children are millionaires? Will state come after them or force them to take mom in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Sadly accepting responsibility to care for someone can seriously jeopardize the long-term financial well-being of a younger caregiver, including children, nieces/nephews, etc. I know a number of instances where people, usually single middle-aged women, had to quit their jobs due to round the clock care, ended up moving into the parents' home to provide the care, were out of the work force for a number of years, then lose the home when the state forces a liquidation when the parent/elder moves into a long-term care as they can no longer be accommodated at home. Regrettably, it makes no financial sense for a younger person to make these choices. It's horrible, but it is the reality, especially for single people with no other source of income as the care needs preclude their working.

My cousin was only able to do this as she was retired, not flush but okay, and her mom, who was fairly ambulatory at the time, moved into her home. My cousin never jeopardized her house, which is her only asset.

Kids are not financially responsible for their parents.

What will the state do if elder is destitute (no house, minimal cash in bank), but adult children are millionaires? Will state come after them or force them to take mom in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Sadly accepting responsibility to care for someone can seriously jeopardize the long-term financial well-being of a younger caregiver, including children, nieces/nephews, etc. I know a number of instances where people, usually single middle-aged women, had to quit their jobs due to round the clock care, ended up moving into the parents' home to provide the care, were out of the work force for a number of years, then lose the home when the state forces a liquidation when the parent/elder moves into a long-term care as they can no longer be accommodated at home. Regrettably, it makes no financial sense for a younger person to make these choices. It's horrible, but it is the reality, especially for single people with no other source of income as the care needs preclude their working.

My cousin was only able to do this as she was retired, not flush but okay, and her mom, who was fairly ambulatory at the time, moved into her home. My cousin never jeopardized her house, which is her only asset.

Kids are not financially responsible for their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Sadly accepting responsibility to care for someone can seriously jeopardize the long-term financial well-being of a younger caregiver, including children, nieces/nephews, etc. I know a number of instances where people, usually single middle-aged women, had to quit their jobs due to round the clock care, ended up moving into the parents' home to provide the care, were out of the work force for a number of years, then lose the home when the state forces a liquidation when the parent/elder moves into a long-term care as they can no longer be accommodated at home. Regrettably, it makes no financial sense for a younger person to make these choices. It's horrible, but it is the reality, especially for single people with no other source of income as the care needs preclude their working.

My cousin was only able to do this as she was retired, not flush but okay, and her mom, who was fairly ambulatory at the time, moved into her home. My cousin never jeopardized her house, which is her only asset.

Kids are not financially responsible for their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Sadly accepting responsibility to care for someone can seriously jeopardize the long-term financial well-being of a younger caregiver, including children, nieces/nephews, etc. I know a number of instances where people, usually single middle-aged women, had to quit their jobs due to round the clock care, ended up moving into the parents' home to provide the care, were out of the work force for a number of years, then lose the home when the state forces a liquidation when the parent/elder moves into a long-term care as they can no longer be accommodated at home. Regrettably, it makes no financial sense for a younger person to make these choices. It's horrible, but it is the reality, especially for single people with no other source of income as the care needs preclude their working.

My cousin was only able to do this as she was retired, not flush but okay, and her mom, who was fairly ambulatory at the time, moved into her home. My cousin never jeopardized her house, which is her only asset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

this person is correct. If you do not want to take the person, do not do it. Ignore the guilt. A friend of mine fell for it with an abusive mother and it was a living hell having her. If you want to take the family member, then by all means go for it, but make sure you know what you are getting into.

Anonymous wrote:In many states patient is released into a rehab facility that is paid for by medicare. Up to 90 days. After that, it becomes paid. The hospital has to coordinate with the nursing home to take him. But if he has no means, then it is harder to find a bed. If he is in a bed and continues to need nursing care, then the nursing home will attempt to find him a medicaid bed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where will the hospital discharge the patient to? Do they have people to handle it? This elderly person does not have his own residence or anyone capable of caring for him.

End up going to a low cost hell hole.

Do you have personal experience with this?

I do. Yes, this is what happens. The social worker tries desperately to guilt family members into more then they can do, and when that doesn’t work, they find placement in not-so-nice places because that’s what happens if there’s no $$

Anonymous wrote:This can also be a problem for someone who needs hospice care. When my father's condition suddenly took a turn for the worse, he was admitted to the hospital but they (and he) soon realized that he needed hospice. Unfortunately, it was not physically possible for his wife to move him back home to do home-based hospice due to the layout of her house and the need to install various safety devices like grab bars etc. Eventually the hospital found a residential hospice and he was able to move there, but it took a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The MOST important thing is that neither you nor the relative accept him into your home now. Then the hospital will have to find a bed for him in a place that will care for him, no matter what insurance he has, or doesn't have.

Once someone accepts him into their home, it is it is over, and on you, rather than the hospital, to solve the problem.

This!!! Just had to deal with this with my mother. To make a long story short, severe alcoholic who lived with her boyfriend for the last 18 years. Boyfriend went into hospital, mom couldn't take care of herself and ended up in hospital also. Boyfriend died and hospital kept mom until court ordered guardian could be appointed. Hospital and guardian found rehab facility (not for alcohol) to discharge to and then rehab found memory care facility for long term care. It takes time but if no one will take the elderly person the hospital is required to find next facility. Then that facility has to find the next. Sort of like passing the buck. For my mom, she does have money so she ended up in a good location but they had to handle it rather than me stepping in.

Yup. Once you touch it, you own it. If a facility accepts a resident and then discovers that the hospital wasn't entirely truthful upon discharge (I'm an RN, this happens every day in order to get someone out of a hospital bed and into a facility), the accepting facility must now find placement for that resident. Which means embellishing/lying about why the resident needs a new placement