Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

+1 I let my kids pick their own friends. I always have. It's a skill they need to learn. I never befriended moms of kids unless we really had a lot in common. Yes, I was friendly at games and when I saw them, but I have friends of my own that I've known for years that I don't see enough of. I disagree that makes you a good parent to join some inner circle of moms. It's cliquey and superficial.

Mom friends become hard to maintain bc of all of the above. Even if you are geographically close, your lives move in different directions sooner or later due to kids and specifics surrounding them. Unless your mom friends turn into real friends along the way. Do make an effort to keep in the loop of your old friends

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

So you would risk leaving your kids as outcast just for your own friendships that would probably accept you back after the childhood years. Your child’s school years are temporary and you can get back to old friends later.

This doesn't make a kid an outcast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

+1 I let my kids pick their own friends. I always have. It's a skill they need to learn. I never befriended moms of kids unless we really had a lot in common. Yes, I was friendly at games and when I saw them, but I have friends of my own that I've known for years that I don't see enough of. I disagree that makes you a good parent to join some inner circle of moms. It's cliquey and superficial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

So you would risk leaving your kids as outcast just for your own friendships that would probably accept you back after the childhood years. Your child’s school years are temporary and you can get back to old friends later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

So you would risk leaving your kids as outcast just for your own friendships that would probably accept you back after the childhood years. Your child’s school years are temporary and you can get back to old friends later.

Anonymous wrote:My mom once told me that the dynamics of friendships shift, but true friendships always remain. Deep friendships will sustain life’s transitions. Let the old petty friends go. Move on.

Anonymous wrote:I make time for good friends, however they become my friends. My kids schools don’t have an inner circle- everyone is just friends with whoever they click with it who their kids click with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess my kids are outcasts cause I never thought like this. Or sought to “establish myself with other moms” for kids’ sake.

I spend time with people I like and whose company I enjoy. When kids came along, it became easier to meet up with friends with kids, cause we’d end up at a playground or someone’s backyard, rather than clubbing on a Saturday night or having a long brunch on Sunday. But I still kept touch with childless friends, for a movie or drink, or just over for dinner. So friendships do shift, but it was never such a conscious choice like you’re making.

+1000. "establish myself with other moms" makes me gag. I'm a woman, who has had children. I am a person fundamentally and I don't need my identity to be based around my spawn. I focus on maintaining my relationships with the people who matter most. We don't always have the same situations, but we all try to take time and we connect regardless of kids. Frankly, I liked becoming a mom later in life and appreciated the guidance of my actual friends, but "mom friends" makes me cringe. HARD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

So you would risk leaving your kids as outcast just for your own friendships that would probably accept you back after the childhood years. Your child’s school years are temporary and you can get back to old friends later.

Uh, no. You can make new friends and keep the old. Ditching your old friends assuming you can pick back with them later means you are a shitty friend

Im not shitty for prioritizing my kids.