I was never the kind of person who was dying to be a mom my whole life. My husband and I said we'd see what happened and if I would get pregnant and if we didn't have kids we said we'd be ok. But since the day my kids were born (they're 8 now, twins, totally spontaneous and unexpected), I have never been jealous of childless people. I have several friends, who are all childless by choice, and even when they talk about the things they do and how they spend their time, I am never jealous of them because my life has such a different meaning now that I have kids. And I've maintained my relatively big job since they were born, I compete in a sport at a pretty high level, and I do things like girls trips and spend time with my friends quite a bit, so it's not like my identity is wrapped up in being a mom.

Anonymous wrote:I am childfree by choice and like that your post at least doesn't shade us. Thanks OP.

Yes, thank you OP.

Yes, the childfree life is easier, but it's the result of how some of us are wired - I just always knew I didn't want kids, and the decision wasn't about the time/money advantage. I am in awe of (and cheer on) my parent friends and really wish our system did a better job of supporting parents.

I wanted nothing more than to be a mom. I’m lonely and unfulfilled at work and in my marriage. Consider yourself lucky and please be grateful for what you have.

* caring parent as not every loving parent is as invested as a caring parent.

Anonymous wrote:More time to focus on their career, sleep, exercise, watch TV, go out to eat and watch movies, do anything they da*n well please.

Anybody else?

It gets better when they’re teens right? I’ll have my independence back?

Grass is always greener on the other side. You have kids now so too late to think otherwise, should’ve thought about it before popping them out. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed with the responsibility even if you adore them. However, teens are just a different sort of responsibility than toddlers. Once you have kids, you’ll always have something to worry about. It’s just a side effect of being a loving parent.

I am a full time single mom. During the pandemic I definitely envied my childfree friends who were taking long walks and long naps. I also envied my divorced friends who had 50% custody who got a little reprieve during the pandemic when I was working nonstop through the night to make up for lost time during the day. Obviously, each has it's own set of issues but yes, I do harbor jealousy. It's really hard to be on your own with no help.

Before I had kids, this would have excited me too, lol. You are a great aunt!

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how crazy it all is: I don’t have kids but I’m about to take a cross country flight with my 2 yr old nephew and 6 year old niece, and I’m super excited to get six hours straight with them. Don’t parents usually dread these types of things?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m only jealous financially.

+1
Other than financially, I pity them.

Troll

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how crazy it all is: I don’t have kids but I’m about to take a cross country flight with my 2 yr old nephew and 6 year old niece, and I’m super excited to get six hours straight with them. Don’t parents usually dread these types of things?

Not always!!! My kids are 9 and 6 and I adoooooore flying with them now. Sitting close together, playing games of cards, one of them dozes on my shoulder or looks so cute with their headphones and iPad playing games excitedly. I love unbroken stretches of time with my precious, fun kids!!

9 and 6 is a sweet spot. Enjoy!

Oh my gosh THIS. Toddler years were so hard for me.
OP how old are your kiddos? It gets better!! Soooo much better.
Reading stories of the tweens and teens is killing me. Boooo.

Wow i think the takeaway here is that parenting Little kids really meets you wherever you are. I too am not an intuitive parent and have been super challenged by my parenting journey but I really wouldn’t change it for the world. It is the most fulfilling and profound journey a human can go through. Yup, I said it. Is it possible to have a rich and fulfilling life without kids? Full of meaning and connection? Absolutely.
Is it as rich, connected, and profound as the life of a parent? No way, no how.
I don’t envy my childless friends and family. I see a desperate and sad longing in their eyes. I never knew being a parent would be this amazing, this incredible. To be their parent, their guardian and guide as they grow, the bow that launches this precious arrow, is a privilege. I only wish I had known earlier! I truly never knew.
Now, I very time I travel and have to board my dog, I REALLY envy people without dogs!!! And I am a lifelong dog lover and have a 16 year old dog I adore!!! But being able to travel without finding doggy care or having to come home to let him out? that’s freedom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how crazy it all is: I don’t have kids but I’m about to take a cross country flight with my 2 yr old nephew and 6 year old niece, and I’m super excited to get six hours straight with them. Don’t parents usually dread these types of things?

Not always!!! My kids are 9 and 6 and I adoooooore flying with them now. Sitting close together, playing games of cards, one of them dozes on my shoulder or looks so cute with their headphones and iPad playing games excitedly. I love unbroken stretches of time with my precious, fun kids!!

9 and 6 is a sweet spot. Enjoy!

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how crazy it all is: I don’t have kids but I’m about to take a cross country flight with my 2 yr old nephew and 6 year old niece, and I’m super excited to get six hours straight with them. Don’t parents usually dread these types of things?

Not always!!! My kids are 9 and 6 and I adoooooore flying with them now. Sitting close together, playing games of cards, one of them dozes on my shoulder or looks so cute with their headphones and iPad playing games excitedly. I love unbroken stretches of time with my precious, fun kids!!

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you. It's really hard for us right now. It might get easier but what if it doesn't?

Now THIS is adulting.

I'm with you. It's really hard for us right now. It might get easier but what if it doesn't?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m only jealous financially.

+1
Other than financially, I pity them.

No need, we’re doing great!