Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

It’s pretty easy to have sex while cosleeping. It’s not that different from having them in a crib or other room except you have to be quieter I guess. With young babies, you can just get them asleep on another part of the bed. With older babies or toddlers, you can get them to sleep then go have sex in another room. I mean, how do you think people had sex for most of human history before separate bedrooms became common?

There’s always time for sex no matter where your child sleeps or how bad a sleeper they are. Even if they wake up every hour, that is still plenty of time to have sex. I know because I’ve been there.

Sounds so much easier to simply have your kids sleep in their own rooms. People coslept for years because they had limited space and no other options.

Anonymous wrote:My almost 8 month old sleeps terribly. We have always had to feed him to sleep and then transfer him to the crib, even for most naps. Sometimes we have to feed him to sleep and then he will wake up in an hour or so and then we have to rock him. His long stretch was between 2 to 4 hours. He is also high needs and suffered from reflux until about 5 months.

At six months my husband started on insisting on sleep training. I sleep in the nursery with the baby and my husband sleeps in the bedroom alone. I was against sleep training but my husband is suffering from male post-partum depression and he felt that he needed me back in the bedroom with him instead of getting up with the baby all night.

I followed the book Precious Little Sleep and started with softer sleep training techniques. None of it helped. After that we tried extinction. The first night he literally cried for three hours. It was better some nights in that he only cried for an hour or so. The crying did not get progressively shorter though. Even when he cried it out he would only go down for a four hour stretch at most. Some nights he’d be up 40 minutes after he fell asleep. We did this for two weeks but overall there was no improvement in his sleep habits. It was torture for me to listen to him cry. My husband wants the baby to cry it out indefinitely which I think is cruel.

Since then, I have gone back to feeding my son to sleep. Right now, he has no long stretch at the beginnig of the night but has sometimes gone three hours or so in the middle of the night. I will admit that sometimes if he has no long stretches by 3 or 4 am I take him into bed with me and he will sleep in bed next to me. He sleeps really well that way but I stay awake to watch him and keep him safe. I know this is not sustainable! Has anyone else had this experience? Where do I go from here?!

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to make a decision. Either you carry on what you doing with no changes and the situation stays the same for months if not years. There are plenty of people on here cosleeping with their 4 year olds. OR you decide the current situation is not working for you and you change it. You have created a crutch for your child at this point. An 8mo is capable of putting himself to sleep, sleeping thru the night, and not eating overnight. Yours doesn’t and you k ow why. Do you want to change or no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

1. Why are you obsessed with other peoples sex lives?
2. Trigger alert: There are other places to have sex outside of a bed and/or master bedroom.
3. if a grown a$$ man wants to share a bed and sleep with his wife (has feelings about that) then why wouldnt a small child also want to sleep with his mother/parents. Or is bed only for sex and thats why its weird? My couch can be both a place for people to sit AND a place for sex. Cars, kitchen, stairs, garage, dryer, bathroom, shower, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

It’s pretty easy to have sex while cosleeping. It’s not that different from having them in a crib or other room except you have to be quieter I guess. With young babies, you can just get them asleep on another part of the bed. With older babies or toddlers, you can get them to sleep then go have sex in another room. I mean, how do you think people had sex for most of human history before separate bedrooms became common?

There’s always time for sex no matter where your child sleeps or how bad a sleeper they are. Even if they wake up every hour, that is still plenty of time to have sex. I know because I’ve been there.

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

+1. Seriously. Put the kid in his crib, close the door and go back in at 6 am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

If you think listening to a baby cry for 3 hours isn’t hard, there is something wrong with you. Wow. It wasn’t hard for you maybe your kid had an easy time of it maybe you have a heart of stone. We will never know.

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.

Anonymous wrote:Man I really wonder how some of y’all stay married. Most of these cosleepers probably never have sex, which is precisely why cosleeping is off the table for both my DH and I. OP, he’s not a bad husband for wanting to share a bed and sleep with his wife, depression or not. Hire a sleep consultant. This isn’t hard.