Am I the first to point out here that the SIL didn’t have any of her girlfriends offer to host the shower because of the fact that she probably has zero friends willing to do so based on what is likely a universal selfishness she displays across all her relationships??

I think the best way to repair your relationship with your SIL is to email her a link to this thread. She owes you an apology and I am completely embarrassed for her that she even thought it was okay to ask.

I’d want to say no to such a tacky ask in any situation, but after your two losses, this seems like the shittiest thing I’ve heard in a long time. And that’s really saying something in the midst of these shitty times.

Agree that they are horrible and also very tacky.

They should hire a professional caterer to "host", or do it at a restaurant and all the "host" has to do is send out the invites. Or just don't have a shower. It isn't mandatory!

This is beyond ridiculous. I wouldn't blame you for never speaking to them again if they can't understand why you wouldn't be up for hosting a BABY shower right now. Seriously, I don't even know you, and I want to call your SIL and give her a piece of my mind. This is as cut and dried as it gets. You don't ask a mother who has lost a child to do this. WTF 🤬

SIL’s mother thinks it’s tacky for a direct relative to host but it not tacky to ask a woman who just lost 2 babies to plan a freaking BABY shower?
WTF?

What the hell. This is terrible. Absolutely you should not be expected to take this on.

Never mind equally tacky or even more so, to ASK you to host. You don’t ask someone to host a party for you, ever.

If she doesn’t have any friends offering to host for her, that is her problem

Anonymous wrote:First of all, it’s just as tacky for an in-law to host a shower so her mother is just lazy.

Second of all…oh OP. My heart breaks that you have had to endure this kind of pain. I hope you get good news soon and I hope these cretins are lucky enough to never understand the depths of their cruelty.

PP just saved me some typing

I can’t believe them. You’re a saint for wanting to repair the relationship. That was terrible of them to ask you!

-someone who struggled with infertility and dealt with crappy situations but nothing this awful!

Thank you, everyone. I appreciate the confirmation that I am not in the wrong and that I am not overreacting to the situation.

^ oops - past this (it’s still early for me!)

Your SiL is beyond tacky for asking anyone to host a baby shower for her in the first place. Seriously, that’s a complete breach of etiquette and it’s so ironic that she’s suggesting her request is in the name of etiquette. More importantly, her complete lack of empathy and compassion for your horrific losses is beyond terrible (frankly, same with your brother) - there is no pass here fir her hormones or anything else, she’s just awful. This is not your mess to fix, and I’m not sure I could get passed this even if she did a 180 with a sincere apology.

Can I PLEASE have her email address so I can send her the link to this thread, along with my personal thoughts on her character?

Anonymous wrote:This one isn’t your job to repair. Truly, those are horrific losses. If she can’t see that, she’s a jerk.


I’m sorry for your losses. I can only imagine the trauma involved. You do not need to be hosting baby showers right now. Hugs to you OP.

+1million!

Op I'm sorry for your losses.

Don't give your SIL another thought.

First of all, it’s just as tacky for an in-law to host a shower so her mother is just lazy.

Second of all…oh OP. My heart breaks that you have had to endure this kind of pain. I hope you get good news soon and I hope these cretins are lucky enough to never understand the depths of their cruelty.

Anonymous wrote:Stop thinking about those people, as they don't care much about you

This! Say no and ignore their perceived disappointment. If they press tell them to f*** off.