Time for a pros and cons list. Don't bring the boyfriend up beforehand and let her tell you what she's thinking.

My husband barely graduated HS, joined the military and got his degree pt over a 10 year period.

He’s now an engineer and makes way more money than I do despite my degrees.

Stop being such an a-hole

Davidson is an incredible school and the students there are very happy. I think if she goes there, it’s unlikely she and the boyfriend will last (don’t let her take a car!). It’s probably fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if either has a car, but if not, even the distance between Charlotte and Davidson will prevent routine visits. Tell her they will see each other less often than they think. Given that, it shouldn’t matter where the two go to school, and they can see each other on their breaks.

Also, she seems like the brighter of the two. UNC Charlotte is no where near Amherst and Davidson academically. Is she sure she’s ready to hook her wagon to this guy?

So smug. You know nothing about this young man. Nothing. I hate to break it to you that branch campuses at state universities are also filled with really bright people.

Smug or not, it may be a good reason to get her to choose Amherst. Put less smugly, “Honey, you’re eighteen and just starting to understand what the world offers and what you want to do with your life. If Johnny is the right one for you, don’t you think he’ll understand your decision, whatever it is?”

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if either has a car, but if not, even the distance between Charlotte and Davidson will prevent routine visits. Tell her they will see each other less often than they think. Given that, it shouldn’t matter where the two go to school, and they can see each other on their breaks.

Also, she seems like the brighter of the two. UNC Charlotte is no where near Amherst and Davidson academically. Is she sure she’s ready to hook her wagon to this guy?

So smug. You know nothing about this young man. Nothing. I hate to break it to you that branch campuses at state universities are also filled with really bright people.

Anonymous wrote:I would give her my pitch ONCE along with my vote of confidence that she’s basically an adult now, I trust her to make the right decision for her, and I support her no matter what she chooses. As part of that, I would point out that she should consider how she will feel about Davison if they break up.

The. I wouldn’t say another word, and I would be enthusiastically supportive no matter her choice.

This.

Not sure if either has a car, but if not, even the distance between Charlotte and Davidson will prevent routine visits. Tell her they will see each other less often than they think. Given that, it shouldn’t matter where the two go to school, and they can see each other on their breaks.

Also, she seems like the brighter of the two. UNC Charlotte is no where near Amherst and Davidson academically. Is she sure she’s ready to hook her wagon to this guy?

Honestly I would prefer Davidson too, she has me convinced

Anonymous wrote:Just refuse to pay for Davidson and force her to go to Amherst. You will never meet your grandchildren.

FIFY

Just refuse to pay for Davidson and force her to go to Amherst. She will thank you in the end.

The two schools are very comparable. I attended a SLAC in a warmer climate and it was close to the mountains and beaches. I think the weather - sunny nearly every day for a good portion of the year - made students very happy.

I liked never needing a coat or jacket, being able to roll out of bed and slip into flip flops before running to class, climbing up into a tree and study on the quad or joining a pick-up volleyball or frisbee game at any time of the year. With Covid continuing in the background, it's no small thing to not have to worry as much about catching respiratory colds that come with colder weather because more socializing will be outside.

I’m not gonna lie - the day I visited my school in NC, it was 60+ there and it snowed at home. That pretty much sealed my first choice!

I don’t think she can go wrong academically here. Just say your piece about the boyfriend and move on.

Echoing other PPs, I don't see any note in your post about why Amherst was the original first choice, other than "we" thinking it's superior.

Let her mull it over and make the final decision, but she can't really make a bad choice here.

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t let her apply to schools you don’t want her attending

What? Where did OP say she didn’t want her kid to attend Davidson? The issue at hand is what is driving the decision. The daughter previously expressed a greater interest in Amherst after visiting. Now she’s changed her mind. It’s fine to change her mind, but if the impetus for that change was to be near a boyfriend, it’s a legitimate concern on OP’s part.

You shouldn’t let her apply to schools you don’t want her attending