Anonymous wrote:I thought I didn't, but today I was at an event at my kid's school and god I hated seeing what the other parents looked like. But I am not from the US and am still not really used to the way people dress here. Like those weirdly printed leggings are not meant to be filled with your thick thighs baby, they're meant for a teenager. And I understand that we can't all buy expensive clothes (I can't either) but I can't understand how people can choose such tacky clothes.

Anonymous wrote:I am not beautiful but I have a pretty face and know how to present myself well. And no, absolutely not, I don't look down on anyone because of their looks. I grew up middle class and sometimes poor and I didn't learn how to look good until I was in my 20s. I had awful acne in my teens and into my 20s, which I have since learned is absolutely tied to stress for me (and feeling financially insecure and unattractive were sources of stress). I also had a deeply insecure mother who often told me I wasn't attractive (which is also how she saw herself). So I had no confidence, terrible posture, had no idea how to dress. It took me a long time to figure all this out.

If you want tips on addressing acne and breakouts, I have them. Everyone's skin is different, but I will say that I managed to get to clear skin without having to pay for expensive prescriptions (I mean, at one point I did, but the ultimate solution lay elsewhere) or do anything drastic.

I also had to figure out my hair, which is now one of my assets but for years was limp and hard to manage and took a lot of work to make look good.

I will say the one thing I've always had going for me is that I'm naturally thin. But everyone has something. Everyone. There is no one who doesn't have at least one enviable feature, whether it's great hair with lots of natural volume, or beautiful eyes, or height or long legs or whatever. There is something beautiful in everyone, I really believe it. And it can require privilege to bring it out.

So no, I never look down on a less attractive women because I know what it is to go through life not knowing how to put your best foot forward, and I know often appearance is beyond your control.

I do judge women who are arrogant about their looks or who only befriend other women if they look a certain way. I also judge women who, like me, got more attractive later in life and who then believe this is an excuse to treat less attractive women poorly. I had a friend like this once and it hurt my heart because I knew her behavior stemmed from her own insecurity and her belief that it was her "turn" to be a queen bee. It was sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I didn't, but today I was at an event at my kid's school and god I hated seeing what the other parents looked like. But I am not from the US and am still not really used to the way people dress here. Like those weirdly printed leggings are not meant to be filled with your thick thighs baby, they're meant for a teenager. And I understand that we can't all buy expensive clothes (I can't either) but I can't understand how people can choose such tacky clothes.

Ah, no DCUM thread is complete without the superior European perspective....thank you for gracing us.

Im American and I judge grown women in tacky printed leggings at public functions too. I wouldn’t even wear that crap around the house. Perhaps if I saw you in the grocery store and your cart was filled with pepto, chicken broth, bananas, and applesauce, I’d give you a sympathy pass

+1. I feel like if someone is putting on clothes in attempt to look good, and I know some of those leggings cost enough to make a decision to pick them and wear them, I am not going to feel bad for thinking to myself that they most certainly do not look good.

It's one thing to judge someone on something they can't control (and I know "control" is debatable). But I feel entitled to judge one person's aesthetic if they're participating in the world with their own opinions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I didn't, but today I was at an event at my kid's school and god I hated seeing what the other parents looked like. But I am not from the US and am still not really used to the way people dress here. Like those weirdly printed leggings are not meant to be filled with your thick thighs baby, they're meant for a teenager. And I understand that we can't all buy expensive clothes (I can't either) but I can't understand how people can choose such tacky clothes.

Ah, no DCUM thread is complete without the superior European perspective....thank you for gracing us.

Im American and I judge grown women in tacky printed leggings at public functions too. I wouldn’t even wear that crap around the house. Perhaps if I saw you in the grocery store and your cart was filled with pepto, chicken broth, bananas, and applesauce, I’d give you a sympathy pass

Anonymous wrote:A truly beautiful woman wouldn't comment on another person's looks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of the things you described are mostly within someone's control, like fat, blemished complexions, badly dyed hair and bad outfits. TBH, I tend to judge people a little for those things, but when I find myself doing it, I try to control my thoughts. Especially since having children, I feel a lot of empathy for women who are trying to juggle mothering and work.

Fat: no, genetics and PCOS could be causing the issue. You don't know unless you've rude enough to ask.

Blemished complexions: They can't afford facials. They've got unfortunate genetics. Unless you're rude enough to ask, once again, you don't know.

Badly dyed hair and bad outfits: Not everyone's rich.

Work on that empathy, lady.

Well, I do sometimes judge women who are overweight and blame their weight issues entirely on PCOS since I have PCOS and have managed to stay thin. But for the most part I really don't care what people do with their own bodies nor do I judge them for it. I just don't like the insinuation that it is impossible to stay thin with PCOS because it's not true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I didn't, but today I was at an event at my kid's school and god I hated seeing what the other parents looked like. But I am not from the US and am still not really used to the way people dress here. Like those weirdly printed leggings are not meant to be filled with your thick thighs baby, they're meant for a teenager. And I understand that we can't all buy expensive clothes (I can't either) but I can't understand how people can choose such tacky clothes.

Yuck- you sound so ugly on the inside. Ps nobody cares that you are not from the US.

But…if she didn’t constantly say negative things about Americans, then what would her identity be?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I didn't, but today I was at an event at my kid's school and god I hated seeing what the other parents looked like. But I am not from the US and am still not really used to the way people dress here. Like those weirdly printed leggings are not meant to be filled with your thick thighs baby, they're meant for a teenager. And I understand that we can't all buy expensive clothes (I can't either) but I can't understand how people can choose such tacky clothes.

Yuck- you sound so ugly on the inside. Ps nobody cares that you are not from the US.

Anonymous wrote:I thought I didn't, but today I was at an event at my kid's school and god I hated seeing what the other parents looked like. But I am not from the US and am still not really used to the way people dress here. Like those weirdly printed leggings are not meant to be filled with your thick thighs baby, they're meant for a teenager. And I understand that we can't all buy expensive clothes (I can't either) but I can't understand how people can choose such tacky clothes.