Anonymous wrote:I dunno why kids are so disappointed? You need to do a better job setting expectations with them. My kids chose safeties that they could get excited about and applied early so those acceptances were in hand by January. Visit those schools, get excited about them so that if it comes to that being the best available option, a day or two of being bummed is replaced by excitement that they are going to college and one that they are going to and can start at planning for. Both of my kids planned for the worst but hoped for the best.

+1. This is the way to do it. The old method of 3 or 4 reaches, 3 or 4 possibles and 3 or 4 likely’s still works.

I dunno why kids are so disappointed? You need to do a better job setting expectations with them. My kids chose safeties that they could get excited about and applied early so those acceptances were in hand by January. Visit those schools, get excited about them so that if it comes to that being the best available option, a day or two of being bummed is replaced by excitement that they are going to college and one that they are going to and can start at planning for. Both of my kids planned for the worst but hoped for the best.

For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

Don’t these schools have single digit acceptance rates for regular decision? It shouldn’t be surprising.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry. Just know she’ll end up in a place that is right for her.

I know you mean well but you don’t know that is true at all. Saying things like “everything always works out for the best” just isn’t true.

OP, my kid has also had a rough time. I am sorry your daughter is, too.

Here's the thing though: It will be alright. This is not a tragedy. Your child will go to college and it will be fine. And if it's not, she can transfer. And that's fine, too.

The best way to help your child is to know that the above is true. Let your kid wallow for a bit if they need to. It's okay to be disappointed. Don't get sucked into dreams of waitlists working out. It is highly likely that they won't. Help your kid make a choice among their acceptances. Be happy about that choice.

It will be okay.

--mom of a kid who is not happy at the school they ended up at, so will be transferring. And it's really okay.

So your kid didn't end up in a place that was right for them. PP's point proven. Don't say feel good stuff that you can't possibly know will be true.

And that’s why she says it will all be ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry. Just know she’ll end up in a place that is right for her.

I know you mean well but you don’t know that is true at all. Saying things like “everything always works out for the best” just isn’t true.

OP, my kid has also had a rough time. I am sorry your daughter is, too.

Here's the thing though: It will be alright. This is not a tragedy. Your child will go to college and it will be fine. And if it's not, she can transfer. And that's fine, too.

The best way to help your child is to know that the above is true. Let your kid wallow for a bit if they need to. It's okay to be disappointed. Don't get sucked into dreams of waitlists working out. It is highly likely that they won't. Help your kid make a choice among their acceptances. Be happy about that choice.

It will be okay.

--mom of a kid who is not happy at the school they ended up at, so will be transferring. And it's really okay.

So your kid didn't end up in a place that was right for them. PP's point proven. Don't say feel good stuff that you can't possibly know will be true.

Parents need to do a better job of helping kids understand that in the end, they should work hard in school for themselves, so they are educated adults and can de prepared for any college they attend, not just so they can get into a college they want. It’s the growth mindset vs. fixed mindset; excellent vs. success. When parents to do, while they may feel disappointed if they don’t get in to a college they like, they shouldn’t feel devastated and that all their hard work was for nothing. To be so stressed that a student pulls applications feels so sad to me.
Also, help your students understand that at many schools it’s a near lottery, just look at the numbers, think of all the high schools in the entire country and take the top 10% from every high school then add some international students and that is the applicant pool.
Last, I think that college have done a good job of making students believe they need to perfect environment to be happy in college. From a mental health standpoint, it’s not healthy to have our kids believe that external conditions are necessary for their happiness. Instead, help kids understand that college is where you are learning for 4 years, it’s transient and they can find contentment and fun at any number of schools if they attend with the right attitude.

Are all waitlist kids full pay?

Anonymous wrote:I would love to know stats and schools and finances.

My unhooked white ds with 1330/3.8 at a crappy public has gotten in everywhere. Top 30-50. Full pay.

This was us last year except a DD. And no SAT because of Covid. It makes me feel guilty when I read all these other posts. I really have come to place it must be a crapshoot. She got in almost everywhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Unfortunately, I do think 2019 was a one-off with re: to waitlists, since Covid hit in between the colleges putting together their acceptance lists and the start of the school year. They had so many unexpected deferrals it opened up a bunch of spots for full pay kids.

You are confused. That was in 2020. COVID was not in existence when 2919 hs class was getting college responses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Unfortunately, I do think 2019 was a one-off with re: to waitlists, since Covid hit in between the colleges putting together their acceptance lists and the start of the school year. They had so many unexpected deferrals it opened up a bunch of spots for full pay kids.

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With you, OP. Brutal week. DD pulled apps from the rest because it’s just been too stressful and disappointing.

Pulling apps now?? I don't get it. What does that accomplish? I assume your DD has an acceptance she's happy with?

Yes. One she’s happy with and one more she’s willing to wait on. Pulled the rest because the anxiety, stress, and disappointment have been too much already.

Stop fixating on the same 50 schools.

You can do everything “right” and not be accepted when there are tens of thousands applying for a few thousand spots at these big name schools. That’s just how it is at those schools. There will always be some disappointment at getting rejected, but if you go into the process knowing those schools have thousands of qualified applicants, you wouldn’t be shocked.

The disappointment is avoidable. Expand the horizons and don’t look at schools that will eagerly accept your kid as “lesser” institutions compared to the big names.

Anonymous wrote:After a week of so many rejections and waitlists, I'm finding it hard to make sense of it all and struggling to know the best way to help my DD. Brutal week.

I am very sorry for your DD. Rejections hurt. And I'm sorry for you--it's the worst to watch your child struggle.

I am NOT an expert BUT as a mom of two kids who have dealt with the roller coaster of college admissions, my best advice as to how to help your DD:

1) validate her disappointment for a few days; it sucks when things you work hard for don't work out.

2) try to help her see that this is happening to many, many, hardworking, awesome, high-achieving kids...VERY few kids can beat the odds at these extremely tough-to-get-into schools. There will be amazing/talented kids just like her wherever she lands.

3) go to admissions day (if they have them) at the school(s) she has gotten into--these are so much better than regular pre-admissions tours because the schools really try to sell the kids AND they get to meet other admitted students...a lot of fun and it might just get her excited.

4) see if the admissions office from the schools she's into can hook her up with a student that is in the department she wants to major in and/or who is from her high school--making those personal connections may also get her excited.

It may be a bumpy couple of weeks but my guess is she'll be happy where she goes and she'll look back on this as a minor disappointment but one that put her on a very satisfying path. Good luck to her.