Anonymous wrote:Isn’t there a story about this in the Bible? One woman is rushing around doing chores, while the other just stops and listens to Jesus?

It’s the story of Martha and Mary.

I love this story. As a child (a girl and a perfectionist with a somewhat narcissistic mother), I saw Mary as kind of a freeloader and resented that she had chosen the “better part.”
As an adult, I see this new as a story that emulates some of the teachings of Buddha and “walking the middle path.” You have to have elements of both in your life. You cannot live a purely spiritual life where you are constantly stopping to connect, be mindful, and appreciate the moment. At some point, you have to get things done.
I think this is why all major religions advocate for (at least) one day a week that is dedicated to rest, mindfulness, and connection with our family and our own inner lives.
We have gotten away from that as our culture has moved away for religion, but maybe we should look at bringing it back.

I struggle with this too. Not just with chores, but I have my routine (chores, work, errands, etc.) and when I stick to it things run pretty smoothly. But sometimes my kid wants me to slow down and just focus on being together, and of course she is right. It's a balance though. I have to make my lists and I need to get through them. But now I always include some unstructured togetherness time in that schedule, and I'm working on being okay with checking off 70% of my list of the day and then letting it go.

I often think about how my life before parenting prepared me for being a parent, and I think learning to prioritize, and specifically to prioritize relationships and downtime, is one of the best lessons I learned pre-kids that has helped me as a parent. I actually think I've become more Type A since having a kid because there is so much that needs to be done and my time is so limited. But I've carried my preferences for focusing on family and connection over, and that is good for us. So glad I downgraded my career to something more family friendly and figured out how to live on less money so that we could have more time. Best decision I've ever made.

Make the kids wash the car, give them a couple bucks for it. Teaching them life lessons is more important than a perfectly clean car. Also take them to the grocery store with you, another opportunity for life lessons. Sure it takes a little longer but there are so many learning opportunities you’re missing out on if you don’t take them. Wake one of the kids up early and go grocery shopping and later that day have the kids wash the car. Life with kids is about teaching them and spending time with them in the process.

Anonymous wrote:What will you remember a week, a month, a year from today? That you had a shiny clean car and ran to the grocery store? Or that you had a magical morning with your child?

+1. You did good today, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Why couldn’t your ds go grocery shopping?

Who cares?!

Why couldn’t your ds go grocery shopping?

What will you remember a week, a month, a year from today? That you had a shiny clean car and ran to the grocery store? Or that you had a magical morning with your child?