The one winter when I REALLY felt this way was last year, when we were still on our seemingly interminable potty training journey with our then 3-year-old DC. The combination of cold weather, Covid, tough age generally, and potty training made weekends just feel miserable. It was so hard to do the things we usually do to make them more pleasant, like spending a few hours at playground (there was a phase when DC refused to use public bathrooms but also understandably wouldn't use the portable potty in cold weather, and we were just absolutely housebound for like a month and a half), going out for brunch, going hiking, etc.

Now we have a slightly older, fully potty-trained kid and I love weekends. Even in the winter. We usually spend the mornings at home this time of year, sometimes I can get DC to do yoga with me, and we make breakfast. Then we do some kind of outing that we combine with lunch. Today, because of the cold, we picked up sandwiches at a deli and took them to the Portrait Gallery, where we ate in the courtyard, looked at the orchid exhibit, and then spent 30 minutes or so exploring the galleries before it was time to come home for a nap. Now we are all resting/vegging out out, and we have leftovers in the fridge for dinner. DH and I will take turns doing one-on-one time with DC this evening so the other one can do something pleasant (I think I'm going to take a walk and listen to a podcast).

I'm looking forward to tomorrow as well. DC and I are both off work and we're meeting friends at a playground in the morning and then going to spend some time walking around monuments near the mall since the weather is supposed to be nice.

All of this is a pleasant break from work and the weekday grind. No complaints.

One of the best things we ever did starting last April that I have zero regrets about is having an overnight sitter every other Friday from 5pm-11am Saturday. Sometimes the hours may change slightly, depending on weekend schedule and there are times we don't need her because of holidays, out of town, etc (where she's still compensated of course and can depend on this income without worry.) We might go out within an hour of her arrival, or 3-4 hours later, or decide to just stay in, same with morning, going out for breakfast or staying in, but just having that general feeling of knowing the kids (3 year old twins) are covered for care and we're free to do what we want is amazing. We aren't well off by DCUM standards but absolutely prioritize this. Makes those weekends so much better. We pay $360 for 18 hours, fyi.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Oh yeah, this is hard. You have to think of the laundry as a kid activity and the fact that the clothes get put away as a bonus. It’s not laundry with kids, it’s kids with laundry.

Similarly the walk is not a walk with kids, it’s kids with walk. I recently went on a “hike” with my 18 month old. We walked for an hour. Then I put her in the backpack to walk back. It took 6 minutes to walk back and I’m pretty sure we stopped once to re-buckle the pack and another time to watch a helicopter.

I’ve found weekends much more fun when we plan to be out of the house as much as possible. That’s harder when it’s cold and COVID-safe options are limited but we still try to do as much outside of the house as possible - mostly farmers markets, playgrounds, and hikes. Kids are occupied and less mess at home. It also helps to split parenting duties so we each have at least a couple of hours of alone time.

Our nanny can handle our 3.5 and 1.5 year old alone during the week and the kids are happy, giggly and fed. And nanny is relaxed and happy. I feel like a crappy mother on weekends because, even with DH, we can’t handle them. Someone is always crying about something or they’re fighting. We scramble to get meals done and get them out of the house.

We both are still working from home so I see how they are with nanny. I love my kids but hate feeling like a failure.

Solidarity, OP. Our LOs are 5 and 2. I'm a SAHM but on weekdays our oldest is in preschool, which helps a lot. Weekends can be miserable - just chore after chore trying to get us ready for the next week. It does get easier the older the kids get. It was definitely harder when our youngest was 9-24 mos. It gets better the older they get.

I really enjoy weekends with my 6 month old and 2 year old. Hella exhausting but I do enjoy them. But I’m not sure if that just speaks to how much I don’t like my job right now?

Anonymous wrote:“Weekend parenting” meaning, you know, actual parenting rather than handing them off for the bulk of the day to paid strangers.

this. It’s hard sometimes, I get that, but we all signed up for this. It’s nice out today albeit chilly. Go out for a long walk. Older kids can walk, scoot or bike. Younger one in stroller. I just took my kid and dig for a walk for an hour then in half an hour we’re meeting a friend to go ice skating. Unless you are single leave the 1yo hole with the other parent and go do some stuff. I have s really low bar for meals. As long as it’s nutritious I’m good. We had Hibachi last night, tonight I’m adding eggs to the leftover rice and some veggies and voila, dinner.

I hate all pandemic parenting days and sometimes I wonder why I had kids it’s that bad.

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I have a clingy 7 year old who seems to want more of my attention than she did as a toddler. The only way to get things done is to let her watch tons of tv and then I feel guilty.

no, you tell her to go amuse herself because you have things to do. If she can’t amuse herself she can sit on her bed and stare at the wall. Give suggestions to get her started.

Before you know it it will be over and that’s the truth. My 12 year old is way more interested in his friends than me and my 9 year old is super fun to be around but right now is reading her book.

But I have pangs of where did the time go. Try to find the positives and don’t just wish it away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

This is fine and understandable. Sounds like you just don’t like kids the age you have. I would also encourage you to attempt to shift your own mindset if you can. Talk to a therapist. Otherwise it will just be miserable and your kids will pick up on that energy.

Anonymous wrote:Once the youngest turns 3 it becomes easier. You can go to the playground/park and let them run around by themselves and just sit back and relax. There are more things to keep the kids occupied while you do other things.

Hang in there. It will get much easier soon

Everyone told me this and I was counting on it but my 3 year old is wild, never sleeps, has unlimited energy, is much faster than me, can climb, unlock doors, etc. we can’t ever take our eyes off him snd he’s not interested in TV

Isn’t “weekend parenting” just parenting?

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.