OP here. Thanks for all the encouragement to continue doing formal dinner parties! I didn't take into account the wide range of opinions on the definition of formal. I definitely don't think it has to have everything made from scratch or require hiring servers (although for a larger event I can see how that would be helpful).

I love doing this. But I generally hate going on on them. I know I can pull it off, and know I put out great food. Most people it a haphazard S show. All the nonsense they learned from Real Badwives of Whatever City.