DW gained 25 lbs. Never imagined that I would be as attracted to her as I am now after that weight gain. Most of the time I get off thinking of her. She displaced all the porn stars I used to think about previously.

Together 20 years, married for 14.
DH has always been super fit. I don't think I personally know any other mid-40 somethings who are in as great of shape. 6'2 and 215, all muscle. His face is hollower and wrinklier and his hair is almost all salt and pepper. Still hot.

Me on the other hand...I am starting to look mid-40s. Saggy neck and jowls. Thick midsection from 3 kids, thinner hair, maybe 15 pounds heavier than when we met. He doesn't seem to be any less attracted to me but I hate how I look by comparison. I eat well, exercise, lift heavy weights so feel like I'm doing all I can do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I’ve gain 30 lbs (5’5” 160 now) as well and we have sex all the time. DH does sometimes comment on fitness levels of other women. I know he finds fit women attractive. I’m not going to tie myself in knots trying to be thin. I exercise daily and eat moderately healthy. I’d have to drastically reduce what I eat to be 30 lbs smaller. Accepting our parent’s changing bodies as we age is part of life.

Body change is an inevitable part of aging. Continuing to stuff your face is not. That exercise is doing zero for your weight. Surely you could cut out a snack and an extra helping daily and drop 10 pounds pretty easily.

Yeah, nothing easy about losing weight. If I was stuffing my face, I’d be over 200 lbs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...

You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

Okay. But this guy’s wife stayed thin, and he still (kind of publicly) cheated and then divorced.
I think I just married badly. I sometimes wish I had thought to be less attractive during my dating years and found someone who didn’t see me as a status symbol or a way to compensate for some insecurity.

Whaaat? Don’t blame yourself! Whatever your husbands reason for thinking your weight has anything to do with him, that’s his issue and not yours.

I read it another way, like poor me for being good looking and ending up with a superficial spouse. Um, unless you were a child bride you had half the say. You could have chose a man who wasn’t insecure and superficial. That’s on you.

Pp here. Yeah. I married badly. Isn’t that what I said?
I think it’s stupid to try to be as attractive as you can while dating. It doesn’t really open up your dating pool, it’s impossible to maintain, and it just attracts the wrong kind of guy.

I agree with that to a degree. Being at a certain level of physical attractiveness does widen your pool. People you are interested in are interested back. Being beyond that, and I think this is where "trying" comes in, does not. I never "tried" -- no plastic surgery, no intense studying of makeup tutorials, no special attention to my looks beyond regular exercise for being in shape and shopping because I liked clothes. Didn't have issues attracting boys but also had it straight in my head that my looks had nothing to do with me. If someone likes you for your looks then they could just as easily like someone else more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...

You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

Okay. But this guy’s wife stayed thin, and he still (kind of publicly) cheated and then divorced.
I think I just married badly. I sometimes wish I had thought to be less attractive during my dating years and found someone who didn’t see me as a status symbol or a way to compensate for some insecurity.

Whaaat? Don’t blame yourself! Whatever your husbands reason for thinking your weight has anything to do with him, that’s his issue and not yours.

I read it another way, like poor me for being good looking and ending up with a superficial spouse. Um, unless you were a child bride you had half the say. You could have chose a man who wasn’t insecure and superficial. That’s on you.

Pp here. Yeah. I married badly. Isn’t that what I said?
I think it’s stupid to try to be as attractive as you can while dating. It doesn’t really open up your dating pool, it’s impossible to maintain, and it just attracts the wrong kind of guy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I’ve gain 30 lbs (5’5” 160 now) as well and we have sex all the time. DH does sometimes comment on fitness levels of other women. I know he finds fit women attractive. I’m not going to tie myself in knots trying to be thin. I exercise daily and eat moderately healthy. I’d have to drastically reduce what I eat to be 30 lbs smaller. Accepting our parent’s changing bodies as we age is part of life.

Body change is an inevitable part of aging. Continuing to stuff your face is not. That exercise is doing zero for your weight. Surely you could cut out a snack and an extra helping daily and drop 10 pounds pretty easily.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...

You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

Okay. But this guy’s wife stayed thin, and he still (kind of publicly) cheated and then divorced.
I think I just married badly. I sometimes wish I had thought to be less attractive during my dating years and found someone who didn’t see me as a status symbol or a way to compensate for some insecurity.

Whaaat? Don’t blame yourself! Whatever your husbands reason for thinking your weight has anything to do with him, that’s his issue and not yours.

I read it another way, like poor me for being good looking and ending up with a superficial spouse. Um, unless you were a child bride you had half the say. You could have chose a man who wasn’t insecure and superficial. That’s on you.

She got breast implants and lipo and is WAY hotter now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...

You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

Okay. But this guy’s wife stayed thin, and he still (kind of publicly) cheated and then divorced.
I think I just married badly. I sometimes wish I had thought to be less attractive during my dating years and found someone who didn’t see me as a status symbol or a way to compensate for some insecurity.

Whaaat? Don’t blame yourself! Whatever your husbands reason for thinking your weight has anything to do with him, that’s his issue and not yours.

Anonymous wrote:Over 17 years he has become thinner, zero belly (he had the starts of one before) his skin is better and his hair is greatly improved - it's v v short instead of long like a roadie.

How is this?

When I met him he drank, smoked, ate gluten and didn't exercise and then he became the opposite of that.

Gluten? I'm putting my foot down on that one. Humans have been eating gluten for thousands of years, and thrived doing so. Unless he has celiac disease (which is extremely rare), avoiding gluten has nothing to do with improving health. Enough with the bogus dietary trends promoted by charlatans and marketers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Right there with you… My ex W gained more than a few lbs, more wrinkles around her eyes, and more of a salty attitude.

Did you consider she was struggling with insecurities about her weight gain and ageing and it manifested as a salty attitude? And sounds like you validated her insecurities, congrats.

She was thin when we got divorced. She also smoked when she drank and I warned her it would catch up with her one day.

She's on your mind a lot, huh? Bet she never thinks of you. She sounds cool to me.

Um, no. I ran into her while I was out to dinner with my friends. She was with husband #3 and he’s a fat a$$.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gained 30-35 pounds since we’ve been married. I didn’t think it was a big deal to my husband. He still loves me, and he still wants to have sex all of the time. But he just told me the other day that it really bothers him that I don’t make more of an effort to lose the weight, and it makes him feel kind of down about himself. I don’t understand, but he seemed sincere, and I have started making an effort to lose it.

I'll help you understand. A thin wife is a status symbol for a straight man, and deep down inside, your husband wishes he had that. He thinks it would compensate for some insecurity he has. It's human, but sad.

Our society is *such* a bummer. So unkind to men and women alike. I'm sorry you're in the thick of this right now.

It's true...

You can basically judge a man's happiness by the size of his house and how hot the woman on his arm is.

Okay. But this guy’s wife stayed thin, and he still (kind of publicly) cheated and then divorced.
I think I just married badly. I sometimes wish I had thought to be less attractive during my dating years and found someone who didn’t see me as a status symbol or a way to compensate for some insecurity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex DW had gained 32 lbs. I just couldn't...

Your wife is better off without you.

(And I think it’s odd that you know the precise number of pounds she gained. What were you doing-weighing her? Just weird.)

yeah, she may have gained 32 pounds of fat but she lost 175 lbs of asshole.

Married 21 years DW looks hotter today imo

What a stupid question. Yes, humans age. This is normal biology.