Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that you should not swallow your disappointment about the disrespect he showed you and say “I understand.” Nope, he doesn’t get understanding. At the same time, you are still getting to know each other and it IS awkward to have a “talk” so early on.

If you want to give him another chance (one more max!!) I think it’s okay to give it a beat, as you have, and say “Hope it worked out.” And leave it at that. The ball is in his court. Proceed with caution.

I think there is a distinct possibility you won’t hear from him again. He doesn’t want to be a *total* a-hole so he texted you at the last minute and acted oblivious that you might be owed an apology - so of course you would feel nuts if you confronted him now. It’s also possible that he’ll be back when his Plan A falls through. I don’t know - he didn’t call you SNF didn’t try to reschedule.

If it were me, it would be game over. I wouldn’t even text back. Maybe if he made a real effort to reconnect…but I don’t know

+1,000,000. Make a point. Do not reply. If you do, you look like a doormat.

+1. It takes 5 seconds to send an “Hey, I am so sorry - big work emergency! Call you later” text.

I wouldn’t provide the short response mentioned earlier (“hope it worked out”) and unfortunately I would not expect one back. He did ghost. He is not a quality man. I would not reach out again.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re in your 40s, you’ve gotten to know one another, intimacy is not unexpected. There’s clearly something not right and you don’t have to put up with it! Thank you, next!

Sorry, that should say “I would provide a short response”

OP: Agree. Should I provide the short response today? Or wait until tomorrow (i.e., after Valentine's Day)?

Do you want to get his attention? Then do Not respond.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that you should not swallow your disappointment about the disrespect he showed you and say “I understand.” Nope, he doesn’t get understanding. At the same time, you are still getting to know each other and it IS awkward to have a “talk” so early on.

If you want to give him another chance (one more max!!) I think it’s okay to give it a beat, as you have, and say “Hope it worked out.” And leave it at that. The ball is in his court. Proceed with caution.

I think there is a distinct possibility you won’t hear from him again. He doesn’t want to be a *total* a-hole so he texted you at the last minute and acted oblivious that you might be owed an apology - so of course you would feel nuts if you confronted him now. It’s also possible that he’ll be back when his Plan A falls through. I don’t know - he didn’t call you SNF didn’t try to reschedule.

If it were me, it would be game over. I wouldn’t even text back. Maybe if he made a real effort to reconnect…but I don’t know

+1. It takes 5 seconds to send an “Hey, I am so sorry - big work emergency! Call you later” text.

I wouldn’t provide the short response mentioned earlier (“hope it worked out”) and unfortunately I would not expect one back. He did ghost. He is not a quality man. I would not reach out again.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re in your 40s, you’ve gotten to know one another, intimacy is not unexpected. There’s clearly something not right and you don’t have to put up with it! Thank you, next!

Sorry, that should say “I would provide a short response”

OP: Agree. Should I provide the short response today? Or wait until tomorrow (i.e., after Valentine's Day)?

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably asked what happened?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that you should not swallow your disappointment about the disrespect he showed you and say “I understand.” Nope, he doesn’t get understanding. At the same time, you are still getting to know each other and it IS awkward to have a “talk” so early on.

If you want to give him another chance (one more max!!) I think it’s okay to give it a beat, as you have, and say “Hope it worked out.” And leave it at that. The ball is in his court. Proceed with caution.

I think there is a distinct possibility you won’t hear from him again. He doesn’t want to be a *total* a-hole so he texted you at the last minute and acted oblivious that you might be owed an apology - so of course you would feel nuts if you confronted him now. It’s also possible that he’ll be back when his Plan A falls through. I don’t know - he didn’t call you SNF didn’t try to reschedule.

If it were me, it would be game over. I wouldn’t even text back. Maybe if he made a real effort to reconnect…but I don’t know

+1. It takes 5 seconds to send an “Hey, I am so sorry - big work emergency! Call you later” text.

I wouldn’t provide the short response mentioned earlier (“hope it worked out”) and unfortunately I would not expect one back. He did ghost. He is not a quality man. I would not reach out again.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re in your 40s, you’ve gotten to know one another, intimacy is not unexpected. There’s clearly something not right and you don’t have to put up with it! Thank you, next!

Sorry, that should say “I would provide a short response”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that you should not swallow your disappointment about the disrespect he showed you and say “I understand.” Nope, he doesn’t get understanding. At the same time, you are still getting to know each other and it IS awkward to have a “talk” so early on.

If you want to give him another chance (one more max!!) I think it’s okay to give it a beat, as you have, and say “Hope it worked out.” And leave it at that. The ball is in his court. Proceed with caution.

I think there is a distinct possibility you won’t hear from him again. He doesn’t want to be a *total* a-hole so he texted you at the last minute and acted oblivious that you might be owed an apology - so of course you would feel nuts if you confronted him now. It’s also possible that he’ll be back when his Plan A falls through. I don’t know - he didn’t call you SNF didn’t try to reschedule.

If it were me, it would be game over. I wouldn’t even text back. Maybe if he made a real effort to reconnect…but I don’t know

+1. It takes 5 seconds to send an “Hey, I am so sorry - big work emergency! Call you later” text.

I wouldn’t provide the short response mentioned earlier (“hope it worked out”) and unfortunately I would not expect one back. He did ghost. He is not a quality man. I would not reach out again.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re in your 40s, you’ve gotten to know one another, intimacy is not unexpected. There’s clearly something not right and you don’t have to put up with it! Thank you, next!

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that you should not swallow your disappointment about the disrespect he showed you and say “I understand.” Nope, he doesn’t get understanding. At the same time, you are still getting to know each other and it IS awkward to have a “talk” so early on.

If you want to give him another chance (one more max!!) I think it’s okay to give it a beat, as you have, and say “Hope it worked out.” And leave it at that. The ball is in his court. Proceed with caution.

I think there is a distinct possibility you won’t hear from him again. He doesn’t want to be a *total* a-hole so he texted you at the last minute and acted oblivious that you might be owed an apology - so of course you would feel nuts if you confronted him now. It’s also possible that he’ll be back when his Plan A falls through. I don’t know - he didn’t call you SNF didn’t try to reschedule.

If it were me, it would be game over. I wouldn’t even text back. Maybe if he made a real effort to reconnect…but I don’t know

Anonymous wrote:No. OP, this is a bad sign. Sounds like you had solid plans and he didn’t have the courtesy to provide notice (if he was busy he would’ve seen a cancel coming…….) and was super casual about it when he did, offering “thoughts of you” during the game? This is giving me player vibes, and I’d drop him if I were you. It probably won’t get better but if you want to find out, don’t respond to his text and see what he does. If he asks what’s up, tell him why you went MIA. His response to that will let you know if he’s worth another second of your time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Plan A for the game fell into place.

EXACTLY. I bet everything he texted is true: he was busy, will be thinking of you, but I can almost guarantee he’s not watching alone.

OP: Ugh. I'd be sad if that was true. So do you think I should just not reply? Wait and see if he reaches out again?

DP. It's Valentine's so today is definitely the day when he should contact you. It's a good test!

OP: that thought did occur to me...maybe wait and see if he says happy valentine's day at all?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Plan A for the game fell into place.

EXACTLY. I bet everything he texted is true: he was busy, will be thinking of you, but I can almost guarantee he’s not watching alone.

OP: Ugh. I'd be sad if that was true. So do you think I should just not reply? Wait and see if he reaches out again?

DP. It's Valentine's so today is definitely the day when he should contact you. It's a good test!

OP: that thought did occur to me...maybe wait and see if he says happy valentine's day at all?

Anonymous wrote:With kindness and understanding. Sounds legit. You won't know if he's going to stick around unless you give it more time. You sound nervous tho; if you equate sex with exclusivity (and some people do, I am one of them); I'd have that talk now to manage our own expectations going forward. Also wondering if you've been ghosted before; one day is not long to be out of touch.