I argued earlier in this thread about how brutal sorority rush is but I also neglected to point out that my DS is now also rushing a frat. He was supposedly "on the spectrum" when he was around 5 with some developmental delays but is now at a top college and getting 4.0s though his friend "group" consists of his roommate and maybe 2-3 others. They decided to rush this spring to meet people. Mind you my DS is extremely shy and not a partier at all. He did recognize that he needed more friends and activities and wanted a "home" to go to, someplace to watch a football game, or just know he has a group of guys to hang out with. So I do get that draw to the structured social setting. He happened to find a frat that is populated by people like him and he loves it.

So i guess it all depends on your DC and how they handle the stress of going though the rush process. Sorority rush feels much tougher, but she could probably find a home at one of the "bottom tier" sororities which are perfectly great places, just not as popular or social as others. That's the type of place my DS is at, and he definitely fits in well there.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, my daughter (who does not have autism but has a fair amount of social anxiety) had as her number one college criteria that Greek life not dominate social life. As she put it, why would she want to go to a place where formalized, exclusionary clubs were baked into the social scene? Sororities literally vote on whether you get to join their clique..it's middle school on steroids.

The great thing about college now is that there are so many clubs for every possible interest...I'd definitely focus on looking into those.

+1

Well said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Join a learning community and look for housing based on interests. Some schools have “the hiking house”, “the politics house”, etc. Even the service-oriented sororities can be brutal.

This would be better for her. Greek life is not kind to the different.

Does not sound kind to anyone honestly.

+1


I don't know why any student or parent would believe in subjecting themselves to that abuse, frankly. So many better quality people to find on a college campus.

I was in a sorority at a Virginia school. It was mostly just partying. She should join a club.

Interesting thread. I am wondering the same thing for my dd. She's not on the spectrum, although I've long suspected she could be, and she's shy and a bit awkward. She is a freshman and didn't rush this year, but would like to find a "home" in the form of a club or activity. Like your dd, she definitely does better socially in defined groups. She did join some interest based clubs, but the social aspect wasn't there. Like, they'd meet for their hour every week or every other week, but outside of that specific setting there wasn't much socializing or friendship.

She's at a techy, nerdy school where the sororities don't seem nearly as hardcore as those at say, Alabama.

My DD is at Sewanee, where Greek life is very low key (most sororities there are not part of national sororities). My DD is a pretty quiet kid, and a little shy, but she has felt very supported by her sorority.