Most people copes by finding justifications for their actions. You are opting for divorce, you start seeing every marriage as a crappy one and every divorce as salvation.

One of my close friends got divorced after she was married for five years. We were also couple friends. When she got divorced I was having some struggles with DH and I wondered if it made sense for us to divorce as well. But then she shared the details and her husband had been horrible to her and I had no idea! It actually made me wisen up and be grateful for what I had.

But if my marriage had been as bad as hers, her divorce might have planted a seed and I probably would have divorced too.

Anonymous wrote:I believe the higher rates. I do not always believe the conclusions or inferences made from those studies. Correlation <> causation.

For example, many divorces are due to mental health issues, including undiagnosed. So, since some of that is genetic, it makes sense that children and siblings of those people have higher rates of the same issues and thus divorce. But that doesn't mean that their divorces are being caused by parents/siblings divorces.

I agree. One of my parents is a recovered alcoholic. They are remarried now as a sober person but it took a lot of therapy to get sober and they were resistant to that therapy until my other parent finally had enough and divorced to try and get more stability for me and my sibling. Too much had happened for them to reconcile but I do sometimes wonder if that parent hadn't been so drunkenly resistant to getting help if the marriage might have recovered. My other parent really gave it everything they had to try to keep our family unit intact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is an easy solution, fidelity, commitment, raising a family needs hard work. If you see people taking easy way out, you too want to leave and be single and date.

This^.

I feel the opposite.

Looking the other way to infidelity/helplessness/etc and living your life in fear of taking control of it is why people stay married.

There is no honor in being afraid to leave your spouse”.

Most women I know are not leaving and dating. They are leaving and committing to their family and work in a way they never could because their helpless h sucked them of all their energy and resources.

Most people I know are married because they love each other and their kids and have skills and dedication to manage their marriages. This is where they eant to be, not have to be.

Statistically most people you know have cheated on their spouse or been cheated on.

You know wrong people. If everyone in your circle is cheating or unhappy or divorcing, find better friend group.

I think it's married women hanging out with other women. They get together with their married and single female friends, and diss the men in their lives. It breeds a negativity they take home with them, and it destroys marriages little by little until they break. Contempt is a killer.

Anonymous wrote:My parents are my role models, i saw firsthand how much work love and loyalty takes but how happy and content it makes you. I saw them having conflicts and finding solutions, having problems and working together to fix them. If you have love and loyalty in common, you can make marriages work. If you always have exit signs marked, it makes it difficult to stay for hard times.

+100

It was a healthy depiction of a real marriage and it was very loving and happy.

My parents are my role models, i saw firsthand how much work love and loyalty takes but how happy and content it makes you. I saw them having conflicts and finding solutions, having problems and working together to fix them. If you have love and loyalty in common, you can make marriages work. If you always have exit signs marked, it makes it difficult to stay for hard times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is an easy solution, fidelity, commitment, raising a family needs hard work. If you see people taking easy way out, you too want to leave and be single and date.

This^.

I feel the opposite.

Looking the other way to infidelity/helplessness/etc and living your life in fear of taking control of it is why people stay married.

There is no honor in being afraid to leave your spouse”.

Most women I know are not leaving and dating. They are leaving and committing to their family and work in a way they never could because their helpless h sucked them of all their energy and resources.

Most people I know are married because they love each other and their kids and have skills and dedication to manage their marriages. This is where they eant to be, not have to be.

Statistically most people you know have cheated on their spouse or been cheated on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is an easy solution, fidelity, commitment, raising a family needs hard work. If you see people taking easy way out, you too want to leave and be single and date.

This^.

I feel the opposite.

Looking the other way to infidelity/helplessness/etc and living your life in fear of taking control of it is why people stay married.

There is no honor in being afraid to leave your spouse”.

Most women I know are not leaving and dating. They are leaving and committing to their family and work in a way they never could because their helpless h sucked them of all their energy and resources.

Most people I know are married because they love each other and their kids and have skills and dedication to manage their marriages. This is where they eant to be, not have to be.

What does love have to do with it. Most people I know are stuck in a marriages that are out of balance but they can’t afford financially or emotionally to divorce. They will wait until kids are out of college. Looks at the stats on grey divorces.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is an easy solution, fidelity, commitment, raising a family needs hard work. If you see people taking easy way out, you too want to leave and be single and date.

This^.

I feel the opposite.

Looking the other way to infidelity/helplessness/etc and living your life in fear of taking control of it is why people stay married.

There is no honor in being afraid to leave your spouse”.

Most women I know are not leaving and dating. They are leaving and committing to their family and work in a way they never could because their helpless h sucked them of all their energy and resources.

Most people I know are married because they love each other and their kids and have skills and dedication to manage their marriages. This is where they eant to be, not have to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is an easy solution, fidelity, commitment, raising a family needs hard work. If you see people taking easy way out, you too want to leave and be single and date.

This^.

I feel the opposite.

Looking the other way to infidelity/helplessness/etc and living your life in fear of taking control of it is why people stay married.

There is no honor in being afraid to leave your spouse”.

Most women I know are not leaving and dating. They are leaving and committing to their family and work in a way they never could because their helpless h sucked them of all their energy and resources.

I think it’s contagious for a few reasons.

1) it’s the kick in the pants some need to leave a bad situation
2) it’s a way to get advice or understand the process and do it, whether rightly or wrongly.
3) the divorced friend may be painting a rosy, naive picture of it and it gets contagious
4) people who miss social cues in general suddenly think divorce sounds like the best thing ever.

Divorce can look tempting from the outside. My friends who are recently divorced are parading around with young, hot women and having more sex in a week than I have in a year.

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is an easy solution, fidelity, commitment, raising a family needs hard work. If you see people taking easy way out, you too want to leave and be single and date.

This^.

Humans want to copy others, have what they have. If all your friends have girlfriends, you want one too. If all your friends are going to top colleges, you want to go to one too. If all your friends are getting married, you want that too. If your friends are getting new cars, you want one too. If your friends are wearing a new trend, likely you want or think about that too. If your friends are getting divorce and remarried or dating, you think about that too. Its just natural.