Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 20:51     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Liars.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 20:27     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
Compulsive liars. Especially ones who don’t even come up with a plausible lie. It’s insulting to my intelligence.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 20:26     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
People who take a long time to tell a simple story.

People who never ask how you’re doing (none of my in laws have ever asked me how work/life is going in the 20 years I have known them).

People who are insecure but try to project confidence by refusing to demonstrate any type of vulnerability.

And yeah, I agree, people who are late are also very rude.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 20:24     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:1) People who are always late.
2) People who are cheap. Once you are cheap, you are always cheap.


Can you give an example of what you mean by cheap?
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 20:19     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:During conversations, people who answer questions about themselves, but do not ask questions about you.

People who do not have the ability to laugh at theirselves- too serious.


I am working on #1. I don't ask people questions because I'm generally a private person and wouldn't want to be asked a bunch of questions, so I judge by my own standards.


My parents are both like you in that they never ask anyone questions and give the same reasoning as you: they don’t want to be intrusive. The thing is, they don’t have any friends, are not very close w family members either and are terrible at being social generally and I think it’s mostly because of this issue. Because people interpret them never asking others questions as them not caring much/being very interested in others and being incurious. There are some questions you shouldn’t ask and you should back off if the person you’re talking to isn’t receptive to answering but if you never ask anyone anything, they’ll think you a) aren’t interested in getting to know them, b) aren’t a very interesting person yourself bc all you ever talk about is your own life, and c) selfish because you don’t seem to Care about others. I’ve had to work at it since I grew up w parents w poor social skills, but I don’t want to wind up w no friends or close relationships so I try really hard to be outgoing, ask questions of others, show interest in others. It works! I have a much easier time making friends than my parents did/do.



I find that a lame excuse for not being social or interactive, the “not be intrusive.”

Fact is they don’t care about other people. The only question is whether a that due to aspergers or general anxiety.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 20:15     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:Surprised at people pointing to lack of empathy because in my experience people don’t seem to care that much about it. Or rather, many people take it for granted in others but don’t seem to require it as necessary. I’ve heard people criticized for caring too much, but rarely for caring too little.


Empathy is ability to see needs, and act on that. Inherent in that is an ability instinctively put yourself in their shoes and see the need, connect with their emotion, see a reason or two for the need or emotion in the other individual.

You see a child crying and you figure out why and comfort the child.
You see a danger and prevent it from hurting someone.
You have a difficult conversation with someone but say it in a caring manner.

That’s empathy.

The definition really hits home when you are close to someone with “zero empathy,” and everything they say or do is only about themselves, and they can’t help it.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 15:29     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:During conversations, people who answer questions about themselves, but do not ask questions about you.

People who do not have the ability to laugh at theirselves- too serious.


I am working on #1. I don't ask people questions because I'm generally a private person and wouldn't want to be asked a bunch of questions, so I judge by my own standards.


My parents are both like you in that they never ask anyone questions and give the same reasoning as you: they don’t want to be intrusive. The thing is, they don’t have any friends, are not very close w family members either and are terrible at being social generally and I think it’s mostly because of this issue. Because people interpret them never asking others questions as them not caring much/being very interested in others and being incurious. There are some questions you shouldn’t ask and you should back off if the person you’re talking to isn’t receptive to answering but if you never ask anyone anything, they’ll think you a) aren’t interested in getting to know them, b) aren’t a very interesting person yourself bc all you ever talk about is your own life, and c) selfish because you don’t seem to Care about others. I’ve had to work at it since I grew up w parents w poor social skills, but I don’t want to wind up w no friends or close relationships so I try really hard to be outgoing, ask questions of others, show interest in others. It works! I have a much easier time making friends than my parents did/do.

Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 14:56     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
-Unkindness
-Lack of self awareness and emotional maturity
-Disloyalty
-Self-centeredness
-Overly materialistic or status conscious. Shallow.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 14:36     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
1) People who are always late.
2) People who are cheap. Once you are cheap, you are always cheap.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 14:34     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:During conversations, people who answer questions about themselves, but do not ask questions about you.

People who do not have the ability to laugh at theirselves- too serious.


I am working on #1. I don't ask people questions because I'm generally a private person and wouldn't want to be asked a bunch of questions, so I judge by my own standards.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 14:29     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
People who are the same age and in a similar life stage as me but who insist on giving me advice constantly. Or who assume I’m looking for advice when I talk about an issue I’m having, when it should be very obvious to anyone paying attention that I was just telling you what was going on in my life when you asked “what’s new with you.”

A lot if middle aged women out here trying to be lifestyle gurus or something. No thank you, I just wanted a friend to complain about annoying sh!t with. Next!
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 08:44     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:During conversations, people who answer questions about themselves, but do not ask questions about you.

People who do not have the ability to laugh at theirselves- too serious.


The flip side of this, though, is people who ask a ton of questions. I’m usually good at asking others about themselves, but know a few people who just go into interviewer mode and I’ll spend an hour with them and realize at the end that I did all the talking simply because they kept asking me stuff. It feels weird because I’ll feel guilty, like I dominated the conversation, but also feel like I never had a chance to steer the conversation away from myself without just declining to answer some of their questions, which feels rude in the moment.


My spouse will absolutely create a conversation where if he’s not lecturing about his work or a news article, he is asking you one if his 3-4 canned questions and avoiding any other questions that involve actual thinking or sharing or his thoughts. It’s too difficult to for him to talk about most subjects so he prefer you talk mostly or he steers it to his special interest. He’ll happily ask what you do for a living and hope you talk for an hour and think he’s a nice guy.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 08:41     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:1. People who think their opinion is fact.
2. People who can't be empathic or see something from another perspective.
3. Stupid people (sorry).
4. Immaturity.


All of this. Often is drive. By undiagnosed or untreated mental disorders so best to stay away not suffer death by 1000 cuts.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 08:21     Subject: Re:Personality traits that really push your buttons
Gossips
Stupid people who think they are smart
People who tell long boring stories, especially if it’s a repeat story, and/or gossipy
Heavy drinkers
Non-confrontational people who ask someone else to confront me
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2022 07:31     Subject: Personality traits that really push your buttons
Anonymous wrote:During conversations, people who answer questions about themselves, but do not ask questions about you.

People who do not have the ability to laugh at theirselves- too serious.


The flip side of this, though, is people who ask a ton of questions. I’m usually good at asking others about themselves, but know a few people who just go into interviewer mode and I’ll spend an hour with them and realize at the end that I did all the talking simply because they kept asking me stuff. It feels weird because I’ll feel guilty, like I dominated the conversation, but also feel like I never had a chance to steer the conversation away from myself without just declining to answer some of their questions, which feels rude in the moment.