The independent K-8 can have good academics but also protect kids like OPs Child. The K-8 is cushy, I’ve had two kids in one and it’s a great, gentle environment with good academics. Don’t think for a minute your anxious child is ready for much more stressful academics of a competitive HS.

As an outside observer, it sounds like OP feels entitled to a school she feels is elite because she has money and connections. She wishes she had the kid to match. She knows her kid is not the right fit and is willing to throw money and magical thinking at the issues to rewrite the narrative to fit her hopes.

I hope she comes around and realizes her child needs to live their best life and she does not need to live vicariously through their achievements.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably GDS is best bet and then Maret second.

No GDS is 3-4 hours of homework each day plus weekends by 9th grade. They tell you that when you start the admission process. They seem very proud of this. It would not be a good fit for a lot of kids.

Yes and no. Depends on which curriculum track your kid is on. The most challenging courses will result in this outcome. Not all kids will take the most challenging courses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify some more, on paper he is definitely in the running for one or all of these schools, as much as plenty of accepted students. As for "hooks"... He's coming from a well-regarded private. He has some obvious, stand-out talent. FWIW, we are also full-pay and have "connections.".

I am a little confused by this. On paper would include the teacher recommendations, and the neuropsych. If none of those raise concerns, are you sure he's the one with anxiety, and this isn't a situation where you are demanding perfection from a kid who is doing well?

What is the placement person at your private K-8 saying about his chances?

There is nothing confusing about it. On paper and as far as the schools know, everything is fine. But they as parents know there’s a problem and they’ve been snowplowing this kid through up til now. What they want to know is that as the kids get older and parental involvement decreases, which of the schools will work best for the type of kid that they have. I don’t know what’s so complicated about this.

Effectively they need a school that will be more lenient about late work, where they have multiple tracks for kids gunning for HYPS and those happy with Tulane and they want the environment to be comfortable so if their kid does not excel academically they will not feel bad about themselves.

This is basically GDS and Maret and that’s what most people are recommending.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify some more, on paper he is definitely in the running for one or all of these schools, as much as plenty of accepted students. As for "hooks"... He's coming from a well-regarded private. He has some obvious, stand-out talent. FWIW, we are also full-pay and have "connections.".

I am a little confused by this. On paper would include the teacher recommendations, and the neuropsych. If none of those raise concerns, are you sure he's the one with anxiety, and this isn't a situation where you are demanding perfection from a kid who is doing well?

What is the placement person at your private K-8 saying about his chances?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify some more, on paper he is definitely in the running for one or all of these schools, as much as plenty of accepted students. As for "hooks"... He's coming from a well-regarded private. He has some obvious, stand-out talent. FWIW, we are also full-pay and have "connections."

The ways in which he excels are truly impressive. He's not a lazy, unmotivated, or uninterested kid. He is passionate about learning. For a time, his anxiety got in the way, but it's well treated now. It just hasn't been adequately treated for long enough to know how he'll perform with a lot of work, which would shut him down before he was treated. He is currently doing good work and is not overwhelmed. I still don't know if he has the self-discipline to be a truly good student--only time will tell.

I don't rank the above schools equally for my son or our family--we have been leaning toward Maret and GDS. I'm not one of "those people" who just wants DS in one of the "top schools" independent of fit. As I stated formerly, we applied to a few other schools, but I don't need everyone's opinion on whether he'd do well there--I feel pretty confident he would do well enough.

My fear is that if we're accepted to one/some of these schools and decide not to attend, we will regret it if turns out DS would have done well there, and this might have been his best chance for entry. These schools (except Potomac) also happen to be close to us, which is a definite QoL bonus.

These sentences are contradictory. You've applied to other schools you are certain would be a better fit where your son could do well, yet you don't want to regret passing on a "top school" where you are uncertain whether he would do well. The top school for your kid should be the one you know will be a good fit, regardless of prestige or rankings. Ask yourself why the name is so important if you have this doubt?

You will not be able to prove a negative (to know if he would've done better or worse at a top school). Send him to the school where you know he will be happy and flourish.

Anonymous wrote:We have applied to SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac for 6th grade and are waiting on admissions decisions (on paper he has as good a shot as any of getting in)--I'm posting now because I hope by then to have enough thoughtful replies to guide our decision. Despite his grades so far being pretty good, my son has historically underperformed in most subjects relative to his abilities, especially those subjects, in which he's not that interested. This has been due largely to severe anxiety, especially anxiety at performing on demand. He's doing much better now. That being said, his abilities in terms of doing copious amounts of schoolwork are not fully proven yet. FWIW, he excels by years in creative writing, but he's appeared "lazy" (i.e. more accurately, overwhelmed at the demand) when writing essays, doing math, etc. Mercifully, he does not compare himself to other kids. I'd be happy enough with mostly Bs, if he's happy socially, enjoying learning, and putting in a modicum of effort. My sense is that since he's bright and curious, and with maturation (i.e. finally "getting" why he needs to put effort into things), and with his anxiety treated, he will "catch fire" and want to do well. To help him succeed, I expect we will have a tutor that will sit with him for an hour or more after school to help him finish his homework.

Basically, I'm looking for a school that is inspiring and intellectually stimulating, but where he can thrive, even if he's not particularly hard-driving. I know generally about the schools' reputations for academic rigor and the pressure-cooker atmosphere at the top end, but I'd like to know from parents who have kids at these schools, if it's possible to thrive and be happy at one of these schools while being more middling in drive and output. Thanks!

We were in this position ion 6th grade. We looked at schools that went through HS “hoping” he would mature out of EF issues (which were mild). Instead, we put him a MS that really focused on these issues. Now he’s at a top academic private and doing well. I would caution against “hoping he grows into the kind of student you want him to be by placing him with other high achievers.”

Anonymous wrote:Probably GDS is best bet and then Maret second.

No GDS is 3-4 hours of homework each day plus weekends by 9th grade. They tell you that when you start the admission process. They seem very proud of this. It would not be a good fit for a lot of kids.

Definitely Maret. Lots of legacies and lower academic standards than the first three schools you mention.

I’m sorry, but anyone that applies to Maret, STA/NCS, Sidwell, GDS and Potomac is “one of those people who just wants DS in one of the top schools independent of fit.” You are applying to all the top schools for the name. Just admit it. It’s okay, we did it too.

OP here. To clarify some more, on paper he is definitely in the running for one or all of these schools, as much as plenty of accepted students. As for "hooks"... He's coming from a well-regarded private. He has some obvious, stand-out talent. FWIW, we are also full-pay and have "connections."

The ways in which he excels are truly impressive. He's not a lazy, unmotivated, or uninterested kid. He is passionate about learning. For a time, his anxiety got in the way, but it's well treated now. It just hasn't been adequately treated for long enough to know how he'll perform with a lot of work, which would shut him down before he was treated. He is currently doing good work and is not overwhelmed. I still don't know if he has the self-discipline to be a truly good student--only time will tell.

I don't rank the above schools equally for my son or our family--we have been leaning toward Maret and GDS. I'm not one of "those people" who just wants DS in one of the "top schools" independent of fit. As I stated formerly, we applied to a few other schools, but I don't need everyone's opinion on whether he'd do well there--I feel pretty confident he would do well enough.

My fear is that if we're accepted to one/some of these schools and decide not to attend, we will regret it if turns out DS would have done well there, and this might have been his best chance for entry. These schools (except Potomac) also happen to be close to us, which is a definite QoL bonus.

Anonymous wrote:In these high schools, there are a lot of kids (gifted included) working hard for Bs. If your child does not like homework, etc, please don’t put him in one of these environments. You say you’re fine with Bs but not working hard and not staying organized will result in Cs and Ds, not Bs. There’s a lot that goes into academic success at that level besides iq. Maybe being around a different peer group will change his perspective, but if that’s who he is he is going to be very unhappy in a place like St. Albans, Potomac, etc. I think it is great that you’re giving all of this a lot of thought! 7th grade is a much better time to try this environment out to see if he grows into it, rather than 9th.

What kid likes HW?

Look at what type of homework tracking software is used. When my sons moved to St. John's College High School, their homework completion rate soared because tracking was made easy via the Canvas software and the BIS grade tracking system.

I do not think your child will be accepted into any of those schools based upon what you have written OP. Find a better fit: Bullis, St. Andrews, Burke, Field and Lab. Or stict with public + use cash savings on individual tutoring + coaching. Good luck.

I think you are focusing too much on homework. My kids are at one of the mentioned schools, and 6th grade barely had any homework. They also don’t want you using tutors. They teach the kids and work with them to learn the skills needs to be successful. Those skills include managing homework, learning executive functioning skills, what works for them as far as homework organization and spacing out, etc. A tutor is just going to act as a crutch and allow your child to evade learning these skills. The school will work with him to identify his weaknesses and improve. A tutor will be counter productive in the long run