Anonymous wrote:You can get a gift. My Mom was really against registries so I didn't do one to keep the peace.

+1

Give a gift, or don't OP. The newlyweds probably do not need anything!

DH and I actually did register to keep the peace (opposite of PP) because MIL kept pushing for it. So, we registered for "wants", because we had all we "needed". Of course, MIL found fault with that, too. But why should we register for stuff we don't need to make someone else happy?? Makes no sense. But, making no sense is a pattern with MIL, so there is that.

Honestly, the newlyweds just want to enjoy their special day with people who love them most, who are happy and joyful to be there. I am sure gifts don't matter to them, at least it didn't to us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the problem is, OP, just give them $100 or whatever you'd spend on a gift in cash. Consider it a gift to you, you don't have to waste your time picking something out.

I find it super weird that you all are calling this a cash grab, when there's no mention of gifts at all. Maybe they already have everything they need and would prefer to save up money for a down payment.

You sound like a total freak to be offended by this OP. Maybe you shouldn't go since you're such a judgmental asshole.

OP here- HAHAHA where the heck did I say I was offended by this? I simply said that I thought it was odd and that I have never been to a wedding where there wasn’t a registry…and I’ve been to a lot. Clearly you didn’t read my comments as I also said I was planning on spending around $300 for a gift and that I enjoy picking something nice from a registry but that I’d just write a check.

You sound like the freak.

I think everyone would agree that the freak in this situation is the person who said they enjoy picking a gift out of a registry, LOL!! I mean, if you're intent on picking out the perfect gift, then this is the perfect opportunity to pick the PERFECT gift without being limited to whatever they chose for themselves. View this as an opportunity, OP!!! Go out and buy them those Belgian linens that you think they need for their bed!

What is wrong with enjoying picking a gift from a registry? I also enjoy doing that. My cousin got married last summer and I absolutely loved going into pottery barn and picking out two nice gifts for his fiancés shower and wedding gift. Not everyone likes to just write a thoughtless check.

Not sure about others but Indian American here and in the last 15+ years, most of the invites we receive from family and friends in our community don't have registries. The correct assumption is that the bride and groom prefer cash/gift cards. No biggie on my end 🤷‍♀️

Would coming empty handed be considered a “dinner grab”? Grow up op. Overthinking.

Many cultures don't do wedding registries and view them as super tacky. I'm South Asian and we had a small registry but 90% of our guests gave us cash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the problem is, OP, just give them $100 or whatever you'd spend on a gift in cash. Consider it a gift to you, you don't have to waste your time picking something out.

I find it super weird that you all are calling this a cash grab, when there's no mention of gifts at all. Maybe they already have everything they need and would prefer to save up money for a down payment.

You sound like a total freak to be offended by this OP. Maybe you shouldn't go since you're such a judgmental asshole.

OP here- HAHAHA where the heck did I say I was offended by this? I simply said that I thought it was odd and that I have never been to a wedding where there wasn’t a registry…and I’ve been to a lot. Clearly you didn’t read my comments as I also said I was planning on spending around $300 for a gift and that I enjoy picking something nice from a registry but that I’d just write a check.

You sound like the freak.

I think everyone would agree that the freak in this situation is the person who said they enjoy picking a gift out of a registry, LOL!! I mean, if you're intent on picking out the perfect gift, then this is the perfect opportunity to pick the PERFECT gift without being limited to whatever they chose for themselves. View this as an opportunity, OP!!! Go out and buy them those Belgian linens that you think they need for their bed!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the problem is, OP, just give them $100 or whatever you'd spend on a gift in cash. Consider it a gift to you, you don't have to waste your time picking something out.

I find it super weird that you all are calling this a cash grab, when there's no mention of gifts at all. Maybe they already have everything they need and would prefer to save up money for a down payment.

You sound like a total freak to be offended by this OP. Maybe you shouldn't go since you're such a judgmental asshole.

OP here- HAHAHA where the heck did I say I was offended by this? I simply said that I thought it was odd and that I have never been to a wedding where there wasn’t a registry…and I’ve been to a lot. Clearly you didn’t read my comments as I also said I was planning on spending around $300 for a gift and that I enjoy picking something nice from a registry but that I’d just write a check.

You sound like the freak.

You're the one who said it was a "cash grab" which is just so rude.

I thought the registry was mainly for showers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were 33 and 40 with a combined HHI of $500k and two homes. We had more stuff than we needed already and it was nice all nice things (so no replacing anything with items from a registry). Some people gave money, some people gave personalized gifts like a cutting board with your name, wall hanger with our initial, etc. Some people just gave a card with a kind note. We were fine with anything and happy to have our friends all there.

+1. I think a registry is a practical notion if you are just starting out and need help establishing your home. But if you marry later, like many professionals do, you probably have already established your home.

+2

Ehhh. I went to a wedding in 2017 for an old roommate of mine. She was 28 and husband was 29. They didn’t do a registry and she flat out told us all at brunch one day it was because they wanted to just get a ton of money.

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t do registries for wedding or babies because I don’t personally like the idea, and it never occurred to me that people would see it as a money grab.

Normal people don’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were 33 and 40 with a combined HHI of $500k and two homes. We had more stuff than we needed already and it was nice all nice things (so no replacing anything with items from a registry). Some people gave money, some people gave personalized gifts like a cutting board with your name, wall hanger with our initial, etc. Some people just gave a card with a kind note. We were fine with anything and happy to have our friends all there.

+1. I think a registry is a practical notion if you are just starting out and need help establishing your home. But if you marry later, like many professionals do, you probably have already established your home.

+2

Anonymous wrote:Make a donation to a charity in their name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with giving cash? Better than some useless gift thats just going to be trashed or regifted.

Wouldn’t a registry not be “useless crap” as it’s items the couple personally added to a registry?

What if they have everything they actually need and like to live with minimal stuff in the house and don't need 200 more gifts. They are forced to create a registry of nice to have things which they don't probably need or have the space for just to satisfy people like you, and it becomes useless crap.

Learn from South Asian weddings and just give cash or a cheque so people can do whatever they want with it.

If they already have everything they need, they:

1) waited too long to get married; and
2) don't need everyone else's cash.

So why whine about it being a “money grab”?

At least they don't have a honeyfund or even worse, a link to their venmo

A registry is literally a gift grab.