Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We saved like crazy. We didn't buy into the DMV mentality that says you have to have a posh house, 3 expensive vacations per year, and the highest-end purse/car/electronics. I didn't put my own high-cost education (paid for by my parents' second mortgage and lots of my own borrowing for grad school) to good use rather than getting caught up in the SAHM culture. No family money whatsoever - my parents sacrificed a lot so that I could get a great education and I'm thrilled that I can do the same for my own kids.

So your parents sacrificed so you could get a great education, you have now sacrificed so your kids can get the same. Presumably they are expected to do the same for your grandkids. Personally, a nicer house and some vacations plus state schools seems like a better idea than focusing your life around making sure your kid can spend 4 years at the right school.

I was thinking this too. I know so many Ivy grads who need financial aid so they can send their kids to Ivy schools, and so on. The cycle of debt continues but I honestly think everyone is just hoping for massive loan forgiveness asap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our case - both sets of grandparents are also paying, we only have two kids, and we can live comfortably from the lowest salary, so we also pay as he goes for DC1's med school. We make almost 500K/year and we moved to a lower COL area, so our mortgage is low.

This is either a troll or one of the most tone deaf posts I've ever read on DCUM!

Right?!?

How is this tone deaf? I see no issues with her response.

Anonymous wrote:Most kids don’t go to private schools in another state. Most kids go to an in-state school or community college and still take out loans. That’s why there are so many news stories about student loan debt.

When I went to a private school 20 years ago, my solidly middle class parents had saved some money. I applied for every possible scholarship and got 1/2 tuition covered. I did 2 co-op semesters to earn money and I still graduated with $20k debt. And college was “only” $30k back then.

I almost forgot. I also worked at the library 10-15 hours a week and spent as little time in my apartment as possible because we kept the heat on 64 because we couldn’t afford the gas bill. I worked a few shifts a week at a restaurant and ate 1 big meal a day for free there any time I worked. At the end of the night we were allowed to take home any leftover soup and breadsticks.

Anonymous wrote:As soon as our first son was born we started saving for college A small smoothly amount at first and increased when daycare was no longer needed. We do have 80k a year saved for him and his brothers. We do fine but have 10 year old cars. No fancy handbags, clothes, etc.

Now if we had 6 kids no way could we afford college for all six.

This is our situation. I opened 529s the week of birth. We saved. Grandparents helped.

We drive old cars. Live in old house. We still do not have 80k/year saved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get that most people on DCUM have $80k saved per year of college and much of America (HHI under $125k) gets aid but do these two realities really cover these gigantic pools of applicants to all the top 50 schools? has the rest of America also saved $80k/year/kid? am I missing something? thinking about this tonight as friends of ours just had their daughter (one of 6 kids, first in college) commit to Carnegie Mellon. I know for a fact that they make more than $150k but I had no idea that $&0k/year was in their budget.

You are perhaps asking the wrong question...the reality is that most of the Top 20 private schools (I think at least 15) are all grant / no loan schools. CMU may be an interesting example, because not sure if they made the same pledge. So, a parent with 6 kids and $150k is getting much of college covered by grants, with some minimal parental contribution.

It is when you move outside this group that college actually gets more unaffordable. Think OOS for a top state flagship like Berkeley or a Bennington College in VT (as just random examples).

This. It's easy for a lower middle class family to send their kid to Harvard because Harvard makes it all but free. Sending that same kid to a state flag ship means loans. Sending them to a less prestigious private school means a lot of loans

Here's how they do it. Miserable loan burdens and still living hand to mouth

https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2022/01/30/college-poverty-expense-cost-dropout/

Embezzling
Organized crime
Inherited wealth
Retired military—earning salary plus their pension
Financial advisor making $2M and throwing smoothies at children in Connecticut
Normal people who make a lot of $$$
Celebrities—Leah Remini is prob full pay at NYU. I adore her so good for her.
Children of the rich or famous

My hs sent kids to Brown, Columbia, Harvard, Barnard, UNC, Duke and others I forget.

I would have once laughed at the embezzling suggestion, except the president of our university was jailed for embezzling funds from a Midwestern school system and maybe the college, too. His house had very plush carpet.

I also was forced to work with a man who had run a political campaign and been caught by the FBI for taking funds to buy a house. It freaked me out to ha e to work with him. He was friends with my company’s owner.

Anonymous wrote:I get that most people on DCUM have $80k saved per year of college and much of America (HHI under $125k) gets aid but do these two realities really cover these gigantic pools of applicants to all the top 50 schools? has the rest of America also saved $80k/year/kid? am I missing something? thinking about this tonight as friends of ours just had their daughter (one of 6 kids, first in college) commit to Carnegie Mellon. I know for a fact that they make more than $150k but I had no idea that $&0k/year was in their budget.

You are perhaps asking the wrong question...the reality is that most of the Top 20 private schools (I think at least 15) are all grant / no loan schools. CMU may be an interesting example, because not sure if they made the same pledge. So, a parent with 6 kids and $150k is getting much of college covered by grants, with some minimal parental contribution.

It is when you move outside this group that college actually gets more unaffordable. Think OOS for a top state flagship like Berkeley or a Bennington College in VT (as just random examples).

Anonymous wrote:We saved like crazy. We didn't buy into the DMV mentality that says you have to have a posh house, 3 expensive vacations per year, and the highest-end purse/car/electronics. I didn't put my own high-cost education (paid for by my parents' second mortgage and lots of my own borrowing for grad school) to good use rather than getting caught up in the SAHM culture. No family money whatsoever - my parents sacrificed a lot so that I could get a great education and I'm thrilled that I can do the same for my own kids.

So your parents sacrificed so you could get a great education, you have now sacrificed so your kids can get the same. Presumably they are expected to do the same for your grandkids. Personally, a nicer house and some vacations plus state schools seems like a better idea than focusing your life around making sure your kid can spend 4 years at the right school.

Most kids don’t go to private schools in another state. Most kids go to an in-state school or community college and still take out loans. That’s why there are so many news stories about student loan debt.

When I went to a private school 20 years ago, my solidly middle class parents had saved some money. I applied for every possible scholarship and got 1/2 tuition covered. I did 2 co-op semesters to earn money and I still graduated with $20k debt. And college was “only” $30k back then.

People make all kind of dumb financial decisions just to show off. Parents are no different. They could send their kid in state to a solid school, but they send them out of state for what is essentially the same-level program, only they get to spend 3X as much on out-of-state tuition. It's boneheaded, and saddles their kid with a lot of debt. Glad my senior is staying in-state for undergrad and should be able to graduate with zero debt.

I am sure that the # of families making or having a ton of money correlates to the # of families with kids in expensive, elite schools.

But for the ones who are mismatched, the answer is:
- need-based scholarships
- merit scholarships
- loans
- other hidden sources like wealthy grandparents you never knew about, accounts that were set up long ago and are now ready for use, living below means, etc...

Don't underestimate the number of kids at ANY college who are really suffering financially to be there. Or their parents. It's easy enough to hide, but there is a lot of food insecurity and financial hardship on any college campus.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our case - both sets of grandparents are also paying, we only have two kids, and we can live comfortably from the lowest salary, so we also pay as he goes for DC1's med school. We make almost 500K/year and we moved to a lower COL area, so our mortgage is low.

This is either a troll or one of the most tone deaf posts I've ever read on DCUM!

Right?!?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our case - both sets of grandparents are also paying, we only have two kids, and we can live comfortably from the lowest salary, so we also pay as he goes for DC1's med school. We make almost 500K/year and we moved to a lower COL area, so our mortgage is low.

This is either a troll or one of the most tone deaf posts I've ever read on DCUM!

It is real life, we are dime a dozen. My parents are from a culture that encourages savings and modest living. My ILs are the typical white, former MC boomers who benefited from cheap college education, abundance of well-paid jobs, great market returns, and continuous increases in real estate value. We went to great schools, had lucrative careers from the beginning, and delayed parenting until we were established at work and I could request flexibility. I stayed in the same industry and worked 10-12 hour days for decades until I had my kids in my early 40s. The kids went to public school until college.

You are insane if you think your representation in this world is plentiful. Maybe in your small enclave sure but you are not representative of a large segment of the population.

1) Two lucrative sets of parents
2) Two lucrative careers
3) kids in early 40s

No ma'am. You are like Goldman Sachs too big/privileged/connected/supported to fail. And even if you did fail with all of those benefits behind you, still had a safety net. Dont make yourself a modest mouse and act like your life is the norm. Nothing more disingenuous than a wealthy person acting like they are "middle class".

Anonymous wrote:

A friend who has a HHI of around 250k said that they got aid at all the private schools their kid has been accepted to. She said that the package sometimes calls it merit and sometimes calls it a grant but the bottom line was the same across the schools. I assume that they have saved the remainder.

This is our situation. DC has been accepted to seven schools. One is our in-state public and we haven't learned of any merit aid offer yet, but we certainly don't need it. Another is an OOS public, where DC was offered aid. And the other five are privates; DC has been offered at least some merit aid (ranging from $10K to 25K per year) at all of them. This still leaves a significant cost of attendance, but like some of the other PPs, we've been saving for this since DC was born (as well as for their younger siblings) and we currently have enough saved to fund $80k/year for four years-- so the merit aid was a nice bonus but not a necessity. With a HHI of a little under $250K, and kids currently ages 18, 15, and 12, we can't plan to cash flow much of college-- which is why we've been saving diligently for so long.