Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 10:27     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


If you are THAT busy, why are you hosting it?


She's not hosting it. Bil is randomly showing up expecting to be fed.


that's "family dinner"??


Yeah - family dinner for the nuclear family in the household. I can't believe this thread is piling on OP.

BIL comes UNINVITED AND UNANNOUNCED - for DINNER during COVID and randomly pops up with a stranger. You all cannot think that OP is "joyless" because she doesn't want to accommodate this?

As for you OP - just tell BIL or tell your DH no more pop-ups. Compromise and say "as much as I'd love to meet your new interests, I'll need advanced notice so I we are prepared and have enough food when it's good for us to host."
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:13     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


If you are THAT busy, why are you hosting it?


She's not hosting it. Bil is randomly showing up expecting to be fed.


that's "family dinner"??
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:09     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


NP. I guess I have a different outlook. I’m happy to meet (and feed) people who are important to my family members, or just someone they are spending time with. I would see it as a way that BIL is keeping us connected to his life. But I’m generally open to meeting new people, and I don’t feel put upon by making extra food. I’m surprised OP’s BIL continues to bring over these women (hate the word “girl” to describe a grown woman, sorry) in the face of OP’s obvious displeasure (I doubt she is coming across as warm and welcoming).


You had run a house with three children and like relatives with their random internet dates stopping by demanding food and conversation. Do you work and have kids??
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:08     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


If you are THAT busy, why are you hosting it?


Exactly, just give him $200 cash every time he shows up needing to take his date out for a meal. Maybe your husband can go too and gratefully pay for or cook for his brother and new dates.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:04     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:Wait, if your BIL is not invited, how does he know when to show up for a family dinner? SOMEONE is telling him. Who?


It’s pretty easy guess that someone with multiple young children has food for them ready at a set time, daily. BIL is a loser moocher
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:02     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:You say things like “over the years” and “always trying to” when referencing brining a date with him. Be specific. How often does he come to dinner with a date? Does he ask you or DH first? I’m assuming he doesn’t just show up totally unannounced with a date in tow, because how would he know it isn’t Hot Pocket night?


Here's the answer. Start serving BIL and his date Hot Pockets and juice boxes!
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:01     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


If you are THAT busy, why are you hosting it?


She's not hosting it. Bil is randomly showing up expecting to be fed.


I would stop feeding him. "I'm sorry we weren't expecting guests, so now is not a good time!" and close the door. Let him know if he schedules it in advance he's more than welcome to come, but no more just dropping by.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 09:00     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
When BIL is coming over ask him "will you be bringing a friend this time?" or let him know "please no extra guests this time".

I'd also start calling the new girl the name of the last girl and then say something like "oh right, I can't keep all BIL's ladies straight. WHOOPSIE!".
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:55     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


If you are THAT busy, why are you hosting it?


She's not hosting it. Bil is randomly showing up expecting to be fed.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:49     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


If you are THAT busy, why are you hosting it?
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:47     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Remember you were not a family member either years ago. Maybe you forgot.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:46     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


Well, it clearly shows you are a miserable person.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:46     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
OP is a joyless sociopath.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:43     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Couldn’t you just enjoy his date without being judgmental? I don’t understand why this annoys you. Don’t be so narrow minded.


I have 3 kids and busy. No, I don’t want to enjoy his date.


NP. I guess I have a different outlook. I’m happy to meet (and feed) people who are important to my family members, or just someone they are spending time with. I would see it as a way that BIL is keeping us connected to his life. But I’m generally open to meeting new people, and I don’t feel put upon by making extra food. I’m surprised OP’s BIL continues to bring over these women (hate the word “girl” to describe a grown woman, sorry) in the face of OP’s obvious displeasure (I doubt she is coming across as warm and welcoming).
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2022 08:41     Subject: Why would you want to bring a girl to family dinner?
You say things like “over the years” and “always trying to” when referencing brining a date with him. Be specific. How often does he come to dinner with a date? Does he ask you or DH first? I’m assuming he doesn’t just show up totally unannounced with a date in tow, because how would he know it isn’t Hot Pocket night?