upset me? no. think it is stupid? yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no.

I try to balance thinking how much 100k in a donation directly to children starving in Afghanistan/Yemen/Syria/etc. and the impact it would have compared to the impact of 100k providing jobs and supporting an industry.

IMO there is a middle ground and I would love to see couples who have this amount of money ask for cash gifts or give those cash gifts to a charity of their choice.. I assume most of the people who can spend 100k on a wedding are hiding their money or their parents have to avoid paying "too much" in taxes. I also assume they dont need 25k in cash gifts if they can afford a 100k wedding. That goes into my calculation as well.

Its self-serving and indulgent but if thats who they are then thats who they are.

My DD had a $90k wedding and I can assure you we do not "hide" any money from taxes. Spending money on a wedding has nothing to do with taxes in any event. What a weird assumption. We also already donate to charities - these are not mutually exclusive.

My wedding was pretty basic and in retrospect I wish we had spent a little more. Generally the more expensive weddings are more fun and have better food.

Except that someone who can afford a 100k wedding without taking on debt is absolutely in a higher income and the higher the income the more loopholes there are and the less likely it is that their income is derived exclusively from wages. Just because the tax code is built for your wealth doesnt mean you arent "hiding it". Thats the whole point of it.

"Typically, the more someone earns, the greater percentage of capital income and less labor compensation they receive every year, the Tax Policy Center has found. The tax laws are not built for wages they are built to protect capital income.

Okay whatever you want to think is up to you.

Sorry but plenty of ppl can pay $100k debt-free from a W-2 standard income job. This isn't like Bezos style wealth or something...

Anonymous wrote:Do you also get mad if you see someone driving a Porsche?

Or living in a large home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no.

I try to balance thinking how much 100k in a donation directly to children starving in Afghanistan/Yemen/Syria/etc. and the impact it would have compared to the impact of 100k providing jobs and supporting an industry.

IMO there is a middle ground and I would love to see couples who have this amount of money ask for cash gifts or give those cash gifts to a charity of their choice.. I assume most of the people who can spend 100k on a wedding are hiding their money or their parents have to avoid paying "too much" in taxes. I also assume they dont need 25k in cash gifts if they can afford a 100k wedding. That goes into my calculation as well.

Its self-serving and indulgent but if thats who they are then thats who they are.

My DD had a $90k wedding and I can assure you we do not "hide" any money from taxes. Spending money on a wedding has nothing to do with taxes in any event. What a weird assumption. We also already donate to charities - these are not mutually exclusive.

My wedding was pretty basic and in retrospect I wish we had spent a little more. Generally the more expensive weddings are more fun and have better food.

Except that someone who can afford a 100k wedding without taking on debt is absolutely in a higher income and the higher the income the more loopholes there are and the less likely it is that their income is derived exclusively from wages. Just because the tax code is built for your wealth doesnt mean you arent "hiding it". Thats the whole point of it.

"Typically, the more someone earns, the greater percentage of capital income and less labor compensation they receive every year, the Tax Policy Center has found. The tax laws are not built for wages they are built to protect capital income.

OP, I couldn't bring myself to spend a lot on MY wedding. I couldn't care less what other people chose to spend their money on.

Anonymous wrote:Of course not unless someone is asking me to pay. I’ve enjoyed being the guest at very expensive weddings where the food is stellar and the venue luxurious.

+1. Yes, I do mind if they're the same people asking the government to forgive their student loans debts or asks for unemployment hand outs. Bunch of Losers!

I strongly dislike how weddings have become so expensive. Many people feel social pressure to hold one and a lot of people go into debt for it or use savings for one instead of paying down debt or buying a home. The entire culture is out of control in the US. *If people didn’t go into debt or make huge financial sacrifices, I’d think differently, but that’s not the reality in the US. I also know people that move forward with a wedding after getting cold feet for legitimate concerns but go forward with it because it’s so hard to stop once in motion. And those just end up in a divorce later. I also HATE what people expect a guest or someone in the wedding party to spend to participate. I’ve known countless people over the years that expect a bridesmaid to attend a bachelor party, shower and the wedding day in another state or country plus buy expensive dresses and spend money on hair and makeup. 54% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, 47% of millennials own a home, and debt is at an all time high. So I get your frustration.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel icky thinking of all the money people blow on weddings.

I had a very modest wedding and I am watching two of my friends plan their weddings this year. And one wedding will cost about 100k and the other 70k.

And the brides are obsessing over minute details such as ordering custom napkins with the bride and grooms initials, to custom cups for drinks to multiple outfits on the day of the wedding.

So much self indulgence. So much privilege!

<endrant>

It doesn’t upset me, if it’s their money, they can throw it any way they want. My own marriage was an expensive affair thanks to my parents and grandparents but in hindsight it was a waste and I should’ve stopped them all. My parents had money and they ended up spending more then they should’ve, in-laws had none but pushed my husband to overspend even if has to take on debt. It wasn’t worth it and I wouldn’t repeat their mistakes with my children. I’ll recommend shifting focus from wedding week to thousands of weeks after that.

No, and we had just us and a priest in a church. It was right for us. I was lucky my parents and family and friends understood we wanted something private and intimate, one friend was deeply hurt though.

But I love going to weddings! It’s a big deal and if they want to share that day with me I’m thrilled and honored! And it’s usually a great way to get together with friends and family. I hate that there’s an up charge in that industry I think it’s a bit predatory but I don’t blame the couples for that.

Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you of they spend $100k "more" on a house than YOU think they should? What about buying an expensive car? Or an international trip instead of local camping?

Like a PP pointed out, that $ does go to all the vendors they are paying including many small businesses like photographers, DJs, bakery florist etc. Not sure why it's different from any other spending if they can afford it.

The key is "if they can afford it." It's none of my business what people spend on their weddings, but if a young couple has a lavish wedding and constantly complaining about their student loans on social media, I do think less of them.

Anonymous wrote:Of course not unless someone is asking me to pay. I’ve enjoyed being the guest at very expensive weddings where the food is stellar and the venue luxurious.

This this! One of the things I miss about pre Covid times. Someone else paying to put on an awesome party and reunion for friends and family.

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind attending very small and intimate weddings of closest friends and relative even if it not a lavish affair. But otherwise a cheapie wedding pisses me off. Don't cut corners on food, drinks, and arrangements for the convenience of the guests. Have valet parking available, adequate seating, comfortable and beautiful surroundings, rooms in the hotel, breakfast, hot beverages etc.

I am ok with people not spending a ton on flower arrangements, drone photography, return gifts, ice sculptures, wedding invitations, printed napkins, entertainers etc. A good DJ and good music is must.

Wow, you sound like a real a-hole. Yeah, someone else's wedding should definitely include "beautiful surroundings" for you.

Does it bother you of they spend $100k "more" on a house than YOU think they should? What about buying an expensive car? Or an international trip instead of local camping?

Like a PP pointed out, that $ does go to all the vendors they are paying including many small businesses like photographers, DJs, bakery florist etc. Not sure why it's different from any other spending if they can afford it.

I love to be a guest in lavish weddings.

No, because no one I know spent a fortune they could not afford.