Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 19:28     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:I want to say generally no but being honest there are a few things I probably do judge:
— the people who are really done up and fashionable, I figure they will be snooty and we won’t get along. Sometimes I am surprised though.

— the people who are wearing fashions that are 20 years outdated (often including very 90s bangs), I predict will be socially awkward, but I don’t avoid people for that reason…it’s more of just a prediction.

— the people who are wearing real fashion victim clothes, I judge I will have nothing in common with them. I once went on a field trip with a mom who was wearing those super shredded jeans—all her upper thighs were totally exposed and building through the threads when she sat down. It looked uncomfortable, unflattering and I just couldn’t imagine making that affirmative choice to buy and wear those.


I could have written this - agree with all of the above. These are the kinds of looks that stick out in my suburb, ~10%. 90% of the women are wearing variations on the same basics, presumably some much more expensive than others, but I can't always tell the difference.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 19:03     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some people judge. My perspective is, if you want to judge people by their clothing and appearance, you aren’t my kind of people.

I wear bright colors and patterns because they bring me joy. I’m sure some people think I want attention. I don’t. Just enjoy the artistic side of colors/prints.


I think we'd get along. I definitely dress for my mood, but unlike you I struggle a bit with not wanting to be judged by other parents. For instance, I have a very "loud" and warm winter coat that I bought a few years ago specifically to cheer me up in the dead of winter when I need something cozy but also want something that makes me feel like ray of sunshine. I used to wear it regularly with no issue whatsoever. I'd get some funny looks but also lots of compliments -- I have had so many people stop me on the bus or on the street to tell me my coat made them smile or to ask where I got it.

But I haven't worn it for school drop off or pick up once. I'm too afraid. I do feel like it attracts a lot of attention and worry it will impact my DD as well -- I don't want her being embarrassed by me or getting tagged as the kid with the eccentric mom (even though I guess she is). I don't know that I even made this choice consciously but over and over I skip over that coat for a nondescript black puffer coat.

I wish I could just wear the coat and not worry about it. I definitely have some anxiety around the social aspects of parenting at times. I was bullied as a kid and while I worked to get over that as an adult, it has really come back with a force since having a child. I want things to be smoother for her because school was so hard for me.


my sisters! i also don't seek "look at me attention"/feel uncomfortable standing out ... but love bright happy patterns and giant jewelry because they make me smile.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 18:55     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:Some people judge. My perspective is, if you want to judge people by their clothing and appearance, you aren’t my kind of people.

I wear bright colors and patterns because they bring me joy. I’m sure some people think I want attention. I don’t. Just enjoy the artistic side of colors/prints.


I think we'd get along. I definitely dress for my mood, but unlike you I struggle a bit with not wanting to be judged by other parents. For instance, I have a very "loud" and warm winter coat that I bought a few years ago specifically to cheer me up in the dead of winter when I need something cozy but also want something that makes me feel like ray of sunshine. I used to wear it regularly with no issue whatsoever. I'd get some funny looks but also lots of compliments -- I have had so many people stop me on the bus or on the street to tell me my coat made them smile or to ask where I got it.

But I haven't worn it for school drop off or pick up once. I'm too afraid. I do feel like it attracts a lot of attention and worry it will impact my DD as well -- I don't want her being embarrassed by me or getting tagged as the kid with the eccentric mom (even though I guess she is). I don't know that I even made this choice consciously but over and over I skip over that coat for a nondescript black puffer coat.

I wish I could just wear the coat and not worry about it. I definitely have some anxiety around the social aspects of parenting at times. I was bullied as a kid and while I worked to get over that as an adult, it has really come back with a force since having a child. I want things to be smoother for her because school was so hard for me.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 18:40     Subject: Re:Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.


If you really have a high level job, you need to look perfect. You just have regular job that you're too disorganized for.


Like Kyrsten Sinema?
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 18:25     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Yes, even though in some circles you won't be judged for wearing a trash bag, as long as it's organic cotton.

But god forbid you wear a plastic trash bag.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:36     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Some people judge. My perspective is, if you want to judge people by their clothing and appearance, you aren’t my kind of people.

I wear bright colors and patterns because they bring me joy. I’m sure some people think I want attention. I don’t. Just enjoy the artistic side of colors/prints.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:33     Subject: Re:Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
I have 5 pastel tops. Please don't judge. I had no clothes and the pastels were on sale. The one positive is they don't look worn out and i look presentable.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:27     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom who is definitely visual and into fashion. I like tarte leisurewear, Athleta joggers, and Gucci bags. I get Botox and fillers and hair appointments every 6 weeks. I love to hike, hot yoga, and exercise.
I wouldn’t choose not to be friends with someone who is dressed in illfitting clothes and not groomed, but I would notice. I like to talk about this stuff and think you might judge me if you look a hot mess or are overweight.



Athleta sweatpants/joggers and Gucci bags sounds pretty basic.


Seriously. This gave me a laugh. “Into fashion”
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:26     Subject: Re:Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.


If you really have a high level job, you need to look perfect. You just have regular job that you're too disorganized for.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:21     Subject: Re:Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:Not for being brunette, Lol. Many gorgeous shiny brunettes that look especially better than brittle, dried out bottle blondes as they get up into their 40s/50s. Some of Hollywood's hottest women are brunette.


Didn't take you long to judge, did it? And bet you didn't even notice how nasty you actually are being.

--brunette in her 30s
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:19     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Yes, it’s called Mean Girls, catty, or clique. 🤦‍♂️
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:10     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
I want to say generally no but being honest there are a few things I probably do judge:
— the people who are really done up and fashionable, I figure they will be snooty and we won’t get along. Sometimes I am surprised though.

— the people who are wearing fashions that are 20 years outdated (often including very 90s bangs), I predict will be socially awkward, but I don’t avoid people for that reason…it’s more of just a prediction.

— the people who are wearing real fashion victim clothes, I judge I will have nothing in common with them. I once went on a field trip with a mom who was wearing those super shredded jeans—all her upper thighs were totally exposed and building through the threads when she sat down. It looked uncomfortable, unflattering and I just couldn’t imagine making that affirmative choice to buy and wear those.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 17:01     Subject: Re:Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.


+1 and they really don’t care if someone has nothing better to do than worry about another mom’s clothes.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 16:51     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
Anonymous wrote:Private school moms definitely judge. Normal moms, not so much.


I’m a private school mom and I don’t judge. I suspect others judge me but I really don’t care. My priorities are my kids, my husband, my job, and my happiness. I don’t have room for judgy people!
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2022 15:50     Subject: Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?
I hope not. People need to be gentle with each other. No need for cruelty. I’ve gained weight as I nursed my husband through cancer and now just surviving his death and raising our kids alone. If you are judging me, you suck!