My DD and Ds have this gap and it is a love fest between them. My Dd becomes a few years younger with him and my DS acts a few years older with her and they end up at the same level. Both the kids are chilled and super responsible.

The only embareesing thing of having an older sister for my son was being introduced to “Charmed” as a tween.

I think both my kids are very close to each other and very respectful of each other’s space. Having an older child who doted on her little brother made life easier for me. Both my kids are super easy and both are super protective of each other.

Many siblings in larger families have big gaps like this between the oldest and youngest. I wouldn’t worry. Our oldest and youngest are 5 years apart and they’re typically siblings, but certainly not best friends (he’s 7 and she is 2). Even my two that are 18 months apart are not best friends and doing different things — which is developmentally appropriate. Congrats on your pregnancy!

My husband and brother have this age gap. They are very close friends—from their late 20s on, the age gap became pretty immaterial. Congrats OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of secondary infertility, we're going to have a 6.5 year age gap. I'm so worried that they'll be like my half sister and me (13 years apart). She's more like my aunt than a sibling. My daughter is so, so excited to be a big sister but I'm nervous that the different life stages will prevent them from being close friends.

My sister is six years older and hated me from the moment I was brought into the house. She used to beat the daylights out of me until one day I turned on her and hit back. We have no relationship at all. You may have a different outcome. I can tell you that she resented having to help with me--even bringing a diaper, so do not make older child your free helper/babysitter.

OP clearly asked for positive experiences.

You don't always get what you want. Now she is prepared for a negative outcome.

I’m currently loving the 6 year gap. The baby gets lots of love from her brother and he is patient enough to enjoy focused one on one time while the baby naps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of secondary infertility, we're going to have a 6.5 year age gap. I'm so worried that they'll be like my half sister and me (13 years apart). She's more like my aunt than a sibling. My daughter is so, so excited to be a big sister but I'm nervous that the different life stages will prevent them from being close friends.

My sister is six years older and hated me from the moment I was brought into the house. She used to beat the daylights out of me until one day I turned on her and hit back. We have no relationship at all. You may have a different outcome. I can tell you that she resented having to help with me--even bringing a diaper, so do not make older child your free helper/babysitter.

As one of the PP above I had the opposite experience and loved helping out with my baby sister.

I think the best you can do as a parent is make sure the older child doesn’t feel too sidelined and preempt jealousy. I for example remember getting small presents at my baby sister’s baby shower. I think my parents were pretty conscientious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of secondary infertility, we're going to have a 6.5 year age gap. I'm so worried that they'll be like my half sister and me (13 years apart). She's more like my aunt than a sibling. My daughter is so, so excited to be a big sister but I'm nervous that the different life stages will prevent them from being close friends.

My sister is six years older and hated me from the moment I was brought into the house. She used to beat the daylights out of me until one day I turned on her and hit back. We have no relationship at all. You may have a different outcome. I can tell you that she resented having to help with me--even bringing a diaper, so do not make older child your free helper/babysitter.

OP clearly asked for positive experiences.

True but I think if anything these replies show that it’s not about the age gap, it’s more about the two kids and their personalities. That could be reassuring, or not!

My Ds are the 6.5 year age spread due to secondary infertility also. They have always been close and the younger one has always acted older. When they are together no one guesses the age different. Now both are in their 20s and they are incredibly close. They live several states apart but are in frequent communication!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of secondary infertility, we're going to have a 6.5 year age gap. I'm so worried that they'll be like my half sister and me (13 years apart). She's more like my aunt than a sibling. My daughter is so, so excited to be a big sister but I'm nervous that the different life stages will prevent them from being close friends.

My sister is six years older and hated me from the moment I was brought into the house. She used to beat the daylights out of me until one day I turned on her and hit back. We have no relationship at all. You may have a different outcome. I can tell you that she resented having to help with me--even bringing a diaper, so do not make older child your free helper/babysitter.

OP clearly asked for positive experiences.

Anonymous wrote:3.5 year and it is still just ok, can’t imagine them being equal friends growing up with wider gap

OP asked for positive experiences.

Anonymous wrote:Because of secondary infertility, we're going to have a 6.5 year age gap. I'm so worried that they'll be like my half sister and me (13 years apart). She's more like my aunt than a sibling. My daughter is so, so excited to be a big sister but I'm nervous that the different life stages will prevent them from being close friends.

My sister is six years older and hated me from the moment I was brought into the house. She used to beat the daylights out of me until one day I turned on her and hit back. We have no relationship at all. You may have a different outcome. I can tell you that she resented having to help with me--even bringing a diaper, so do not make older child your free helper/babysitter.

Anonymous wrote:I am 8 years older than my brother and it was great. I helped a lot with taking care of him and never thought of myself like an aunt.

Same! I have a little sister 8 years younger and no other sibs. I did like to play mommy with her a lot and my role has always been the big sis not any type of aunt. Playing mommy was much different than being mommy of course. Now it’s almost like we are the same age in many ways. I also was so glad to finally get a sibling and have always been glad! Didn’t love being the only child too much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 5.5 years apart, by choice. Honestly, it's been great. DC1 was super excited to get a sibling, and never really lost that excitement--they've always been happy to have a sibling. DC1 did try to act like a parent at times throughout their childhood, but DC2 is very much their own person and from a very young age looked at DC1 as a peer--an older and (sometimes) wiser peer, but a peer nonetheless. They have always gotten on well together, with occasional spats, and now at 18.5 and 24 are quite good friends.

Me again: I also want to say that I've also enjoyed this spacing. I loved having one baby/toddler at a time--I feel like they both really got a lot of attention from DH and me. I like that DC2 got to do his teen years outside of DC1's shadow (as DC1 was off at college). I also really liked having them be at different stages. A rational, reasonable 8-year-old is a breath of fresh air after spending several hours with a tantrumming two-year-old. And a still-sweet and cuddly 10-year-old is a real psychic balm after having your umpteenth argument with a prickly teenager.

Aww thanks for this. I’m not OP but about to have a baby whose next closest sibling will be 5.5 years older.

3.5 year and it is still just ok, can’t imagine them being equal friends growing up with wider gap

I am 8 years older than my brother and it was great. I helped a lot with taking care of him and never thought of myself like an aunt.