Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

Methinks the one having the affair has the boundary issue.

EXACTLY.

I know...talk about deflection and reverse psychology.

If I catch a cheater I would tell everyone!

Good for the 15 year old, someone taught her right!

Anonymous wrote:First, don’t have affairs.
Second, don’t include your children in your relationship issues.
Third, take away the damn cell phone if they act like morons.

The child doesn’t get a pass because her parents are idiots.

This has nothing to do with getting a pass. This is a child stuck in a toxic environment for years with no power to leave it. Of course she is lashing out.

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

Why should she cover for someone's affair? It's not the kids who did wrong, instead it's the family member. Don't admonish people for talking about bad behavior. The punishment goes to the wrongdoers. The only one that hurt the child is the cheating parent.

This is how I look at it OP. Don't give people bad things to talk about. My niece told us at Thanksgiving one year all about her mom breaking up her husband's former marriage. His 3 kids don't have a relationship with him, and her kids very little. Do you blame the mail man spreading the news or the bad people....

Is her last name Conway?

First, don’t have affairs.
Second, don’t include your children in your relationship issues.
Third, take away the damn cell phone if they act like morons.

The child doesn’t get a pass because her parents are idiots.

She should lose phone privileges and TikTok.
Much like those Instagram moms who share way too much about their kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

She is getting a ton of therapy. This was about her therapy.

So they should have her take it down and let the therapist know what happened. Therapy is a great place to learn boundaries.

Perhaps but it would seem pretty self-serving by the parents.

Are you 12?
People, Most especially KIDS, should not be airing their private business in the Internet.
And what the kids knows may not be totally accurate.
Grow up.
Plus a kid needs therapy to deal with this mess, not crowd source advice from randos.

What you’re saying isn’t necessarily wrong, but there’s no way the parents can make the kid take it down and convince them it’s for the kid’s own good and not just for the parents to save face. And it would be at least partly that the parents are embarrassed that their secrets are becoming public. Parents selfish enough to put their kids in that situation, to know enough to say what she said, don’t suddenly stop thinking of themselves first. I’m pretty sure the lessons this child needs to learn can’t be taught by the parents at this point. They’re the example of what not to do, not the moral authority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

Methinks the one having the affair has the boundary issue.

EXACTLY.