Oh also: look into hand expression and spoon feeding. My LC recommended this with my second, who lost too much weight before my milk came in, to give the baby a little burst of colostrum before you start nursing. It’s also comforting to see that you are in fact producing something and feeding your baby, and so can give mom a boost too.

With both kids, my milk didn’t come in for five or so days after birth. Supplementing with formula (while putting baby to breast and pumping) ensured that my babies were strong enough to nurse. Hungry, weak babies are very sleepy and may struggle to nurse. Once my milk came in, I never had to supplement again, and I was able to EBF for over a year. So I think supplementing can actually help you EBF.

Make sure you find your people OP. And be ready for some people you think are going to be your people to disappoint you. There are going to be people for whom you using formula is going to be personally easier and more gratifying and that will get (usually temporarily) in the way of their being supportive and genuinely helpful rather than “helpful”.

There’s going to be a grandma or aunt who REALLY WANTS to give the baby a bottle or a daycare or babysitter that thinks formula is so much easier or some “well meaning” person at work who thinks pumping is so time consuming wouldn’t formula be easier now that you’re back or the friend for whom nursing didn’t quite work out who thinks everyone should save themselves the hassle and switch to formula right away and “doesn’t understand” why you can’t go for a weekend away at 4 months. Be ready to ignore people, even people who heretofore have been in your corner. They may come back to your corner!

Three people you don’t ignore:
1. You.
2. Your baby (which includes your pediatricians evaluation).
3. Your spouse.

You three are the team on the field, everyone else is in the stands.

Have a list of lactation consultants ready to contact after the birth. Agree that you should take classes ahead, but it will be important to know who to contact after if you need help. Make sure they are helping you at the hospital, too. If for some reason the baby is not awake whenever a nurse or something else comes in to watch you nursing, make sure that you call them when the baby wakes. It is important they make sure the baby is latched well. There will probably be lactation consultants at the hospital to help, too.

I also encourage you to work with your feelings ahead of time to make sure that you can handle it if something goes wrong with breastfeeding. Examine why it is so important to you, and have some alternative ways to achieve those goals if it doesn't go as planned. For example, is your feeling that you want to bond through BFing? If it doesn't work out, be ready to do lots of skin-to-skin and snuggling anyway. Is your feeling that you think it's the healthiest option? Research the best formulas ahead of time so you can feel confident if you have to supplement.

DC1 was a BFing nightmare. He couldn't transfer milk for some reason and had a ton of allergies that resulted in him being super colicky and throwing up huge quantities of milk if I ate certain things, but it was super hard to identify what those things were. I was SO certain that I was going to BF and so miserable that I couldn't, and it honestly contributed to developing PPD. It felt like a rejection by my baby and a statement on my quality as a mother. I see now how ridiculous that is (and frankly, he is a teen now and still a picky eater!).

DC2 was super into BFing but had a tongue-tie, and it HURT. Although I thought I was a pro after seeing a million lactation consultants with DC1, it still took way longer than it should have to figure it out. If you have pain, ask about tongue tie early. The beginning was awful, but once we finally sorted it out, he nursed like a champ until he was almost 2.5 years.

My point is that you can't control some things, so just focus on what you can control, and recognize that none of this is a referendum on your capacity as a parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that you can still breastfeed very successfully even if you need to supplement with a little formula in the early days. Each of my first two kids needed a little formula in the first week and had nothing but breast milk thereafter. I'd echo all the others who advise being flexible and gentle with yourself. Good luck!

+1. Purists don’t like this because formula changes the gut bacteria or whatever, but I did this as well. C-section both times and I wanted to make sure I didn’t starve my babies while waiting for my milk to fully come in. We would do full feeds at the breast and then top up with an oz of formula to make sure their tummies were full. At around one week of age we did a weighted feed with the LC and determined that they were getting enough, so stopped supplementing. They were on breastmilk for a full year which was my goal!

And don’t over-pump. LCs don’t recommend it until 4-6 weeks unless you’re replacing feeds with formula.

I did this with baby 2 and 3 but I don’t think you can supplement early with a first baby in the beginning. Your milk supply might never come on.

If you’re putting baby to breast for 30 min every 2-3 hours (sometimes more frequent) then a little bit of supplementation doesn’t hurt your supply (or at least, it didn’t hurt mine). Your supply is only hurt if you fully replace the feed with formula and don’t pump to compensate.

So much of it is luck. My first simply would not latch. My second hates the bottle, loves breastfeeding. Go figure. If baby is able to nurse and you are dedicated (the first 4-6 weeks are rough) it will work out. I had a lactation consultant come both times to help with some issues and provide guidance.

OP you are probably getting from this thread but there are a lot of posters here who are not especially supportive of breastfeeding so make sure you’re getting a more uniformly supportive message somewhere else as well (LC, Reddit, something not intended to undermine you).

Here is what worked for me:

1. Prenatal breastfeeding class. That “golden hour” is not going to have a lactation consultant to help you get the baby latched, it’s going to have a bunch of nurses milling around so you need to have some idea what you’re doing.

2. Ask in your hospital tour what the staffing is in terms of LCs during COVID. We had to wait more than 24 hours to see one for the first time and it was *bad*. Luckily in the prenatal class there had been a bit of expressing colostrum so she was getting that from a spoon while we waited for the LC to show up.

3. There are LCs in the area who make house calls. Book one for the first full day home. If you’re using a doula you could also make sure to hire one who is a certified LC but they tend to have the lesser-hours certification.

4. Have food (especially breakfast) ready before you leave for the hospital. I woke up STARVING every morning because nursing all night takes it out of you. I was dizzy and weak and could barely hold the baby. My mother in law totally came through for me and baked me about a million breakfast pastries but I would have some pre-positioned.

5. While nursing is getting established that’s your only job. Your husband can change every diaper and wash every dish. You nurse, eat, and rest in that order. Your physical recovery from childbirth and your success at nursing are closely linked so don’t push yourself to do an extra load of laundry— nursing successfully is more important than clean clothes.

6. Make sure you’re at a pediatric practice that is supportive. Not lip-service AAP supportive, but things like has LCs on staff to do weighted feeds early on (we had one in our first checkup out of the hospital) and experienced with tongue and lip tie. I know you have extended leave but our pediatrician signed off on extra medical necessity for some breastfeeding mothers, which I took as a sign of genuine supportive attitude.

Good luck OP. The fact that you want this really does matter!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that you can still breastfeed very successfully even if you need to supplement with a little formula in the early days. Each of my first two kids needed a little formula in the first week and had nothing but breast milk thereafter. I'd echo all the others who advise being flexible and gentle with yourself. Good luck!

+1. Purists don’t like this because formula changes the gut bacteria or whatever, but I did this as well. C-section both times and I wanted to make sure I didn’t starve my babies while waiting for my milk to fully come in. We would do full feeds at the breast and then top up with an oz of formula to make sure their tummies were full. At around one week of age we did a weighted feed with the LC and determined that they were getting enough, so stopped supplementing. They were on breastmilk for a full year which was my goal!

And don’t over-pump. LCs don’t recommend it until 4-6 weeks unless you’re replacing feeds with formula.

I did this with baby 2 and 3 but I don’t think you can supplement early with a first baby in the beginning. Your milk supply might never come on.

That’s nonsense. It’s actually more critical to supplement your baby if needed as first time moms have a higher risk of delayed milk supply. I supplemented my first baby and my milk eventually came in, but it took six days. Imagine a baby nearly dehydrated by day 6, thank god for formula.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that you can still breastfeed very successfully even if you need to supplement with a little formula in the early days. Each of my first two kids needed a little formula in the first week and had nothing but breast milk thereafter. I'd echo all the others who advise being flexible and gentle with yourself. Good luck!

+1. Purists don’t like this because formula changes the gut bacteria or whatever, but I did this as well. C-section both times and I wanted to make sure I didn’t starve my babies while waiting for my milk to fully come in. We would do full feeds at the breast and then top up with an oz of formula to make sure their tummies were full. At around one week of age we did a weighted feed with the LC and determined that they were getting enough, so stopped supplementing. They were on breastmilk for a full year which was my goal!

And don’t over-pump. LCs don’t recommend it until 4-6 weeks unless you’re replacing feeds with formula.

I did this with baby 2 and 3 but I don’t think you can supplement early with a first baby in the beginning. Your milk supply might never come on.

Anonymous wrote:Breastfed 3 kids for 2 years each (still nursing the 3rd). Key for me was to tough it through the first kid. I remember days 3-5 when we were home from the hospital, baby was hungry and my supply hadn’t come in we’re HARD. I definitely cried for 2 nights with the baby. But I wasn’t willing to try formula yet. And then like magic it all came together. It hurt a bit as I learned to position the baby. Baby 2- good positioning but still hurt for 3 weeks. Baby 3- zero pain. When I tried formula with any of them, they absolutely rejected it, which meant I made sure my supply didn’t drop. I could risk them going hungry. I will say it was only hard with baby 1. And with all 3 it was the most memorable, enjoyable part of being a mom. I had originally planned on formula to be honest. I wanted Dh to help feed the baby half time. But it all came together and breastmilk was easier than formula.

Step 1- have a baby who likes breast milk
Step 2- learn how to breastfeed and train the baby
Step 3- protect the supply. Don’t lose too much weight too quickly. I had friends who forgot to eat for days. Their bodies stopped producing milk.

Oh and get a prescription for apno. Don’t let the nips get cracked or bloody!!! Incredible pain

Breastfed 3 kids for 2 years each (still nursing the 3rd). Key for me was to tough it through the first kid. I remember days 3-5 when we were home from the hospital, baby was hungry and my supply hadn’t come in we’re HARD. I definitely cried for 2 nights with the baby. But I wasn’t willing to try formula yet. And then like magic it all came together. It hurt a bit as I learned to position the baby. Baby 2- good positioning but still hurt for 3 weeks. Baby 3- zero pain. When I tried formula with any of them, they absolutely rejected it, which meant I made sure my supply didn’t drop. I could risk them going hungry. I will say it was only hard with baby 1. And with all 3 it was the most memorable, enjoyable part of being a mom. I had originally planned on formula to be honest. I wanted Dh to help feed the baby half time. But it all came together and breastmilk was easier than formula.

Step 1- have a baby who likes breast milk
Step 2- learn how to breastfeed and train the baby
Step 3- protect the supply. Don’t lose too much weight too quickly. I had friends who forgot to eat for days. Their bodies stopped producing milk.

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that you can still breastfeed very successfully even if you need to supplement with a little formula in the early days. Each of my first two kids needed a little formula in the first week and had nothing but breast milk thereafter. I'd echo all the others who advise being flexible and gentle with yourself. Good luck!

+1. Purists don’t like this because formula changes the gut bacteria or whatever, but I did this as well. C-section both times and I wanted to make sure I didn’t starve my babies while waiting for my milk to fully come in. We would do full feeds at the breast and then top up with an oz of formula to make sure their tummies were full. At around one week of age we did a weighted feed with the LC and determined that they were getting enough, so stopped supplementing. They were on breastmilk for a full year which was my goal!

And don’t over-pump. LCs don’t recommend it until 4-6 weeks unless you’re replacing feeds with formula.

Breastfeed as soon and as often as you can after birth. Like, try to start within the hour, and don’t be surprised if you are nursing 6+ hrs a day at first.

Figure out what the lactation consultant situation is at your hospital. If they don’t send them around to new moms soon after birth, consider hiring your own to help you soon after birth. Even if you think it’s going well, have someone experienced look at your latch at least sometime the first day.

You do not need to pump right away or at all. The best thing is to let baby empty your breast, not a pump. Try breast compressions too, while they’re eating. Oh, and I’m the first couple weeks, keep them awake for long feeds by blowing on their face, tickling them, whatever.

My second didn’t take a bottle and it was fine. You will still get breaks even if your baby doesn’t take a bottle. Don’t stress yourself out trying different bottles, nipples, etc etc, if you don’t want to/have to.

Keep in mind that you can still breastfeed very successfully even if you need to supplement with a little formula in the early days. Each of my first two kids needed a little formula in the first week and had nothing but breast milk thereafter. I'd echo all the others who advise being flexible and gentle with yourself. Good luck!

Keep in mind that you can still breastfeed very successfully even if you need to supplement with a little formula in the early days. Each of my first two kids needed a little formula in the first week and had nothing but breast milk thereafter. I'd echo all the others who advise being flexible and gentle with yourself. Good luck!