Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ethan Allen daughter here. I think I am a little bitter but less so than years ago. My elderly mother is the sole parent left. In her younger years when she was still working and I was getting married she always cried poor but then two months later she'd have brand new EA furniture. Or have a carpenter come in to build custom cabinetry to house all her crystal and fine china collection. When we were getting married i asked her if she could help pay for the food at the hall. We had a 100 people at the wedding but the hall was a church hall. She looked askance and said "you know I'm poor". Then she'd turn around and buy more furniture three months later. It just bothered me. I was asking her to cover 4k worth of catering. We were not having caviar. My hubby and I were paying honeymoon etc. We ended up paying for everything except dress. I can't remember what dress cost but witj alteratons veil Etc it was about 600. I think had she really been poor it would have been ok. For example my mother in law was a Catholic school teacher who had been widowed for years so we didn't want her to cover anything. Although she wanted to pay for rehearsal dinner. We agreed to her offer and split it with her.

Your mom sounds like a selfish boomer, but how long have you been carrying this grudge? And are you one to turn around and say others feel entitled to money that isn't theirs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ethan Allen daughter here. I think I am a little bitter but less so than years ago. My elderly mother is the sole parent left. In her younger years when she was still working and I was getting married she always cried poor but then two months later she'd have brand new EA furniture. Or have a carpenter come in to build custom cabinetry to house all her crystal and fine china collection. When we were getting married i asked her if she could help pay for the food at the hall. We had a 100 people at the wedding but the hall was a church hall. She looked askance and said "you know I'm poor". Then she'd turn around and buy more furniture three months later. It just bothered me. I was asking her to cover 4k worth of catering. We were not having caviar. My hubby and I were paying honeymoon etc. We ended up paying for everything except dress. I can't remember what dress cost but witj alteratons veil Etc it was about 600. I think had she really been poor it would have been ok. For example my mother in law was a Catholic school teacher who had been widowed for years so we didn't want her to cover anything. Although she wanted to pay for rehearsal dinner. We agreed to her offer and split it with her.

Furniture lasts a lot longer than a dinner. You mom was smart! You sound entitled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family paid for my college education, so I certainly received life changing amounts of money in that sense. But I'm curious about how common it is for young adults, post-college to receive significant amounts of money from their family. When I was in my mid-twenties it seemed like I had a number of friends who had better houses and so forth than their jobs would seem to support. It was none of my business, so I didn't ask - but either they were better at saving and finding deals than I was, they went a lot further into debt, and/or they got money from their families.

My parents probably had enough money to where they could've subsidized my lifestyle, but that's not really the family ethos. Raise the kids and educate them, after that it's up to them. I'm in my 50s now, so it doesn't really matter. Just curious. At this point there's no real way of telling where personal finances end and family money begins.

It depends on how much is "life changing amount" and whether as a gift or inheritance? We are in 50s and plan to give our 20-something college educated kids about 250k each as a gift. They will get more after we die but they will hae to wait for that.

Anonymous wrote:My family paid for my college education, so I certainly received life changing amounts of money in that sense. But I'm curious about how common it is for young adults, post-college to receive significant amounts of money from their family. When I was in my mid-twenties it seemed like I had a number of friends who had better houses and so forth than their jobs would seem to support. It was none of my business, so I didn't ask - but either they were better at saving and finding deals than I was, they went a lot further into debt, and/or they got money from their families.

My parents probably had enough money to where they could've subsidized my lifestyle, but that's not really the family ethos. Raise the kids and educate them, after that it's up to them. I'm in my 50s now, so it doesn't really matter. Just curious. At this point there's no real way of telling where personal finances end and family money begins.

Anonymous wrote:It's very uncommon. You can look at stats on wealth in the US. Most people literally can't afford to do it.

That said, if your parents could have done so but didn't, your friends parents probably did.

Anonymous wrote:Ethan Allen daughter here. I think I am a little bitter but less so than years ago. My elderly mother is the sole parent left. In her younger years when she was still working and I was getting married she always cried poor but then two months later she'd have brand new EA furniture. Or have a carpenter come in to build custom cabinetry to house all her crystal and fine china collection. When we were getting married i asked her if she could help pay for the food at the hall. We had a 100 people at the wedding but the hall was a church hall. She looked askance and said "you know I'm poor". Then she'd turn around and buy more furniture three months later. It just bothered me. I was asking her to cover 4k worth of catering. We were not having caviar. My hubby and I were paying honeymoon etc. We ended up paying for everything except dress. I can't remember what dress cost but witj alteratons veil Etc it was about 600. I think had she really been poor it would have been ok. For example my mother in law was a Catholic school teacher who had been widowed for years so we didn't want her to cover anything. Although she wanted to pay for rehearsal dinner. We agreed to her offer and split it with her.