Anonymous wrote:I know a couple like this. He has kids from a previous marriage. They sleep together at one or the other house most of the time. They’ve been together 40+ years.

If I had the funds I wouldn’t mind it at all. More space, more freedom, probably good for the relationship if you are strongly committed.

Does he have other visitors to his wing? Do you have sex with him?
If you think it is weird, why to you tolerate this?

Anonymous wrote:I would do this in a heartbeat and have thought so for years!

Our therapist recommended this to us as my spouse is a work addict and very difficult to live with. Plus sleeps from 8pm-5am so is never contributing to the household or children except making messes and running off.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do it. I'd think you'd miss all the casual conversations, jokes and intimate moments.

This was my first thought too. Conversations would be too formal. Like talking to your Grandma when you're a teenager.

DH and I are currently going on year two with this arrangement. Started off living together, but found out cohabitation brought out some differences in living. We were in our late 30s when married so pretty much stuck in our ways so to speak. I have three kids from a previous relationship and he one.

It’s been the best thing since slice bread. We only live a half hour apart.

I have a gay male coworker who has done this for years.

I know two other couples who did this long distance, but both ended up divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how the kids think of these relationships how it impacts them in adult life and their relationships

Should be fine. Kids should learn that different people have different kinds of relationships. And they don't need to have the same gelatine as their parents

This is the same thing they used to say about divorce and we found out that wasn't true.

Ok and they said the same for gay marriages and it was true. The kids are fine!
The difference is in divorce your no longer in a married relationship. Being apartners, you're still married.

You are awfully defensive. You are still married but it seems like you don't interact at all. I'm curious how this turns out 10 to 15 years from now once the kids are grown, what they have to say.

Of course the adults who make these choices are going to say everything is fine.

I wouldn't do it. I'd think you'd miss all the casual conversations, jokes and intimate moments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how the kids think of these relationships how it impacts them in adult life and their relationships

Should be fine. Kids should learn that different people have different kinds of relationships. And they don't need to have the same gelatine as their parents

This is the same thing they used to say about divorce and we found out that wasn't true.

Ok and they said the same for gay marriages and it was true. The kids are fine!
The difference is in divorce your no longer in a married relationship. Being apartners, you're still married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how the kids think of these relationships how it impacts them in adult life and their relationships

Should be fine. Kids should learn that different people have different kinds of relationships. And they don't need to have the same gelatine as their parents

This is the same thing they used to say about divorce and we found out that wasn't true.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how the kids think of these relationships how it impacts them in adult life and their relationships

Pp with separate bedrooms. I think the kids will one day discover this is not a common arrangement, and DH and I love to joke about how that convo with their surprised friends will go. DH and I are happy to discuss it then.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how the kids think of these relationships how it impacts them in adult life and their relationships

Should be fine. Kids should learn that different people have different kinds of relationships. And they don't need to have the same gelatine as their parents

I’ve been thinking about buying a little farmhouse in the neighborhood to have my own space, but suspect it would be too weird for the kids.

We keep separate bedrooms and it’s glorious. We have plenty of sex, but afterwards we go to our own spaces to do what we like and then get a good night’s sleep.

I'm curious how the kids think of these relationships how it impacts them in adult life and their relationships

Anonymous wrote:

Currently in a relationships like this and it seems to work. Both divorced with kids and don’t want to blend. I’m not sure that it’s more sustainable long term than being married etc. But daughter hates me so likely only way it can ‘work’.

Me too ! Her daughter hates me and this is only way we can keep things going.

I like an open apartners marriage