Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is about what you spend your time doing. Kids are time-consuming so if you want to describe activities that define your life, they are going to make the list.

I wouldn’t put anything in my Twitter bio but I think it would be weird for a parent to say something like “lawyer foodie knitter Gardner” and not add “mom” or “dad.”

Not that it’s a big deal one way or another.

A few years ago, I was nearly not hired into my present role when HR found out I had young kids. It didn’t come up in any interviews—I was on the East Coast, they phoned me at 8 pm my time from a random number and I made the mistake of picking up and there was kid background noise. HR called my future managers and warned them I had young kids.

My manager said “so does the other [male] applicant and you didn’t raise any concerns.”

So my public Internet presence doesn’t mention my kids and never has.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because being a mother is a job, and being a wife/daughter/sister/friend is not.

Being a wife is a job, and most women deserve to be fired from it.

Is being a husband a job?

Same PP. Yes. And most men deserve to be fired, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find me one man (VP Harris’s DH excluded) who would put “husband of X“ in their profile. Women don’t define themselves by their men anymore than men do of their women anymore.

Took me about 2 seconds for find that both Obama and Romney do this.

Yes but pretty much everything either of them say is cringe so that's no surprise.

As to why we might be seeing it more: the stigma of mixing your identity as a parent and professional is going away, I think. Like, you see more professionals breastfeeding and taking paternity leave rather than trying to act as though they’re not encumbered by kids at all.

Anonymous wrote:Find me one man (VP Harris’s DH excluded) who would put “husband of X“ in their profile. Women don’t define themselves by their men anymore than men do of their women anymore.

Took me about 2 seconds for find that both Obama and Romney do this.

I think a lot of it is about what you spend your time doing. Kids are time-consuming so if you want to describe activities that define your life, they are going to make the list.

I wouldn’t put anything in my Twitter bio but I think it would be weird for a parent to say something like “lawyer foodie knitter Gardner” and not add “mom” or “dad.”

Not that it’s a big deal one way or another.

Find me one man (VP Harris’s DH excluded) who would put “husband of X“ in their profile. Women don’t define themselves by their men anymore than men do of their women anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but nothing about the husband?

It would be so tacky; this is not the 1950s. I have mom of 2 kids/scientist/native plant gardener in mine.

This is such a trash thing to say and is a product of toxic feminism. If valuing your life partner with whom you spend 60 years of your life is an anachronism from the 1950s, sign me up for the time machines when they are built.

This tells me you are of an older generation. We don't worship the man, put him on a pedestal anymore and identify as a wife of someone. I've been married for 15 years and spreading my legs 3-4 times/week, despite being very enjoyable, is not an accomplishment. Raising the future generation to be valuable members of the society, making the world a better functioning place, curing people and diseases, helping the economy and/or environment, creating jobs, innovating - all these are accomplishments. Wake up and do something valuable with the rest of your life, which does not include BJs and cooking lasagna on Fridays for your 65 year old sweetie. If you think lack of male adulation means toxic femininity, I feel sorry for you. We are no longer cattle-equivalent.

wow

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but nothing about the husband?

It would be so tacky; this is not the 1950s. I have mom of 2 kids/scientist/native plant gardener in mine.

This is such a trash thing to say and is a product of toxic feminism. If valuing your life partner with whom you spend 60 years of your life is an anachronism from the 1950s, sign me up for the time machines when they are built.

This tells me you are of an older generation. We don't worship the man, put him on a pedestal anymore and identify as a wife of someone. I've been married for 15 years and spreading my legs 3-4 times/week, despite being very enjoyable, is not an accomplishment. Raising the future generation to be valuable members of the society, making the world a better functioning place, curing people and diseases, helping the economy and/or environment, creating jobs, innovating - all these are accomplishments. Wake up and do something valuable with the rest of your life, which does not include BJs and cooking lasagna on Fridays for your 65 year old sweetie. If you think lack of male adulation means toxic femininity, I feel sorry for you. We are no longer cattle-equivalent.

Anonymous wrote:Do you see a lot of men refer to themselves as “husband of X?”

Lol

Anonymous wrote:They may not have a husband. If they do have one he's little more than a sperm donor in their eyes.

Husband in label only is a turn off.

Husband with husband like behaviors is sexy.

Anonymous wrote:My boss has "scientist, mother, runner, she/her" in her profile. She is also a wife but obviously finds that descriptive unbecoming.

Good stuff. I like it.

Anonymous wrote:but nothing about the husband?

Probably goes to a school group where people are known as the parents of Larlo. It’s hard to remember all kids and their parents names!!

The only time I see people of either gender put "wife of" or "partner to" or "husband to" or whatever in their Twitter bio is when their partner is notable in some way. Like if their partner is active on twitter and runs a prominent non-profit, or is a published author, or whatever, they'll put it in there. But otherwise people don't.

I don't know why you'd expect women to do it when men don't. Also, some men will put something like "proud dad to Maisie and Charlie" or whatever and not necessarily mention their wives.

I think you all are reading way more into this than is there. My DH and I are both on twitter and neither of us mention each other, or our kid, in our twitter bio. Actually, while writing this I realized I don't know what my DH"s bio said so I looked. He doesn't even have one! Mine is just my profession, one major hobby I am involved in and tweet about, and a link to website because I run my own business.

I don’t mind “mom” because it helps be identify women like me. Like I’m not gonna have anything in common with a single, childless 23 year old.

But “wife of ____” or “husband of _____” gives off major creepy Christian vibes. The only people I know who make “spouse” a huge part of their identity are super religious and usually have crappy marriages. Like you find out H hits his wife and W is having an affair.