My DH and I are high school sweethearts. We married at 30 when he was totally broke and I wasn't sure what his earning potential was. He now makes as much if not more than me, depending on the year. I married him for love and our shared values, once of which is not being materialistic.

It depends. My DH makes a large income but he barely helps with anything else and doesn’t want to outsource. So if I had to do it over again I would go for someone who wants to be an equal partner rather than an atm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you considering low earning? And what is your salary and potential?

He makes $60k, I make $150k. He also has a lot of bills. Other than this he really great and treats me wonderfully.

Its not the $60k. Its tbe lots of bills issue.

*1. Are these bills for something meaningful like student loans? Or are they frivolous unnecessary spending that he can’t afford?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No absolutely not
Never


You’ll be miserable


And you’ll always be the bread winner, you’ll hold resentment for that exact reason and always fee superior to that person.


No

What would you think if the question "were would you marry a woman with no money/" and men gave this answer? So much for enlightened feminism and equal treatment.

+1

I wouldn’t think anything of it. There are plenty of men who prefer to date women who have money and won’t date someone who makes minimum wage.

Don’t pretend that only women care about this because it’s not true.

Exactly. I think $60k is actually less than minimum wage, is he a migrant worker?

You need some remedial math help. $60k is $30/hr, 40hrs/wk, 50 weeks a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No absolutely not
Never


You’ll be miserable


And you’ll always be the bread winner, you’ll hold resentment for that exact reason and always fee superior to that person.


No

What would you think if the question "were would you marry a woman with no money/" and men gave this answer? So much for enlightened feminism and equal treatment.

If they don’t plan to have kids, the genders attached to each salary don’t matter. If he’s capable of being a really good stay at home dad, that is fine too. But realistically women do take time out of the workforce or slow their career growth during pregnancy, maternity leave, and the first 1-2 years of each child’s life. That is a physical reality. As a breadwinner female, it’s more than swapping places and taking on the burden of financially supporting the household. It’s financial support + having a house of people who depend on you physically and emotionally in a way even the best sahd’s are not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No absolutely not
Never


You’ll be miserable


And you’ll always be the bread winner, you’ll hold resentment for that exact reason and always fee superior to that person.


No

What would you think if the question "were would you marry a woman with no money/" and men gave this answer? So much for enlightened feminism and equal treatment.

+1

I wouldn’t think anything of it. There are plenty of men who prefer to date women who have money and won’t date someone who makes minimum wage.

Don’t pretend that only women care about this because it’s not true.

Exactly. I think $60k is actually less than minimum wage, is he a migrant worker?

I need a man to take care of himself. My days of constantly taking care of others, is over (and I don't need to be taken care of).

It doesn't mean rich. It doesn't mean owning a house. But have his own apartment, be able to pay all his bills, and have a car. Doesn't need to be new/fancy, a 10 year old Honda Civic is perfectly fine.

He's gotta be self sufficient.

No. My husband I had a similar difference when we met and later married - $40k/$120k. My salary has increased, but now our earnings are similar. He also came into marriage with no debt and no expensive tastes or hobbies that I have to support.

Kids are expensive. A house with space for kids and good schools is expensive. It really sucks if you are a female breadwinner when your kids are 0-3yr old because you have to be pregnant, breastfeeding, most kids prefer Mom, etc. Even if you have an amazing partner who cooks and cleans, so much baby care falls on mom. If you are working full time and your partner is also working (but doesn’t bring home much) it gets annoying if the lower paid spouse has a less-flexible job. If you need/want to step back and go part time or change jobs after kids, you won’t have that option because he can’t step up and earn more for a bit if needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No absolutely not
Never


You’ll be miserable


And you’ll always be the bread winner, you’ll hold resentment for that exact reason and always fee superior to that person.


No

What would you think if the question "were would you marry a woman with no money/" and men gave this answer? So much for enlightened feminism and equal treatment.

+1

I wouldn’t think anything of it. There are plenty of men who prefer to date women who have money and won’t date someone who makes minimum wage.

Don’t pretend that only women care about this because it’s not true.

Anonymous wrote:I would not recommend it. My DH is a teacher and his low wages really hurt our family. I make 200K and he is at 75K. I dream of the things me and the kids could do if he made equal pay. The difference definitely builds resentment and my husband has no interest in switching careers to earn more money for his family.

You do realize 75k is still quite a bit of money, right??? And he’s doing something he loves? And it isn’t “low wages”. Ugh. This board is ridiculously out of touch.

I would not recommend it. My DH is a teacher and his low wages really hurt our family. I make 200K and he is at 75K. I dream of the things me and the kids could do if he made equal pay. The difference definitely builds resentment and my husband has no interest in switching careers to earn more money for his family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No absolutely not
Never


You’ll be miserable


And you’ll always be the bread winner, you’ll hold resentment for that exact reason and always fee superior to that person.


No

What would you think if the question "were would you marry a woman with no money/" and men gave this answer? So much for enlightened feminism and equal treatment.

+1

I have no money and my husband still married me.

Lol no.

How long have you known this man that treats you so well?