Do it! Life is too short and DH could resent you for years ahead. You will need to give up private school, is he ok with that?

Depends how often he chases dreams. If he’s the type of person who has a new dream every 2-3 years and your family needs more stability, then I would discourage this change.

How toxic or stressful is his current job? Is he mildly unhappy or is it impact his quality of life?

How often do jobs like this come around? Is it the role or this specific organization that he is passionate about? If it’s the org and these roles rarely open up, I say go for it. You can live on $300k for 2-3 years. I think you should check in once a year and see how it’s going and if he is really doing things to open doors.

How much resentment would you have if he loves this job and stays 5-10 years?

What is the work/life balance of the new role supposed to be? Will this cost more than the pay cut if you have to hire more childcare or outsource more things?

I took a 20 percent pay cut to take my dream job, ten years ago. Now I am a director and have more than caught up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $350k to $300k isn't too bad, IMO. Are we talking $30k in private school tuition or $100k for a few kids? If you can't cut back on tuition, you may have to find other ways to save. But at the $350k range, that's going to be things like an affordable car instead of a luxury one, or not eating out as much, or renting a beach house for vacation instead of flying to Italy for 2 weeks.

I agree that if your DH is very passionate about this, he may harbor resentment if you "say no." Draw up the budget first, and choose where to make cuts. Make sure you do not take the pain fully upon yourself (like cutting the house cleaners and then YOU do all the cleaning). If he has an expensive hobby or expensive car, then he needs to make the sacrifice.

+1. How much is the private school tuition? You guys should still be able to live a great life on $300K.

It’s not only the monetary difference- the nonprofit is likely to also involve longer hours and less benefits than the fed job and have less job stability - all of which is key, especially when you have a child with special needs.

That's fair. While setting out the budget, OP should also set expectations. And if DH starts missing expectations and refuses to roll back expensive hobbies, they need a clear pre-agreed-upon point at which the DH quits.

OP says she is fed, too, so she has stability and benefits. As long as she doesn't resent HIM for going off on this whim, they will be fine even if the worst happens and they have to live off her $200k. That's still decent money if they stay within their means.

Anonymous wrote:He currently works for government making $155k and has been in the govt agency for 10 years. No pension though. He’s ready for a change and was offered a director level job at a Nonprofit making $100k. With 3 kids, that’s a big haircut but it’s the job he has been looking for. Anyone been there done that and can give guidance? I told him to negotiate as much as he can but he said they were pretty upfront that was the max pay. I also work for govt and make 200k. He thinks if he does this job for 1-2 years, it can open doors.

What's your income, OP?

Former 20-year nonprofit worker here: don't do it!!

Nonprofit work is stressful, and this must be a small org if it's only paying its ED $100k. An ED for a small nonprofit ought to spend most of their time fundraising. Only if your DH loves fundraising and doesn't mind stressing about the financial future of his organization and its staff should he make that change!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not his dream job. He is fantasizing what his dream job is at a nonprofit organization. I am a career long nonprofit worker and there’s a lot of crap that goes on at nonprofits. That salary is terrible for him because the cut is huge. I’ve been trying to get in the government for 20 years.. so he is in a good place. If he really wants to do work related to a nonprofit, volunteer or do it when you retire but don’t take a near $50,000 pay cut for a pipe dream job that probably really isn’t a dream job he imagines it is.

+1 to volunteering

There are nonprofits where EDs are making 300k+, easily, for no work. A 1/3 pay cut is not worth it. Like PP said, there's a lot of spin around non-profit jobs; the politics alone at many are not worth it.

This. Once you work in non profits, you may no longer consider them a "dream job "

I would be more concerned with giving up federal retirement and benefits than even giving up the salary. How do the retirement benefits, heath benefits and leave stack up?

Anonymous wrote:That is not his dream job. He is fantasizing what his dream job is at a nonprofit organization. I am a career long nonprofit worker and there’s a lot of crap that goes on at nonprofits. That salary is terrible for him because the cut is huge. I’ve been trying to get in the government for 20 years.. so he is in a good place. If he really wants to do work related to a nonprofit, volunteer or do it when you retire but don’t take a near $50,000 pay cut for a pipe dream job that probably really isn’t a dream job he imagines it is.

+1 to volunteering

There are nonprofits where EDs are making 300k+, easily, for no work. A 1/3 pay cut is not worth it. Like PP said, there's a lot of spin around non-profit jobs; the politics alone at many are not worth it.

How are your finances otherwise? What is your attitude towards money? Do you have a large debt? Do you have large monthly expenses? Do you mind cutting back? Personally, money is an important but secondary concern, and as long as you make “enough” you should take the job that makes you happy, because you spend a large percentage of your waking life at work. However, “enough” is highly subjective. My husband and I have never had a combined income of $300,000, and while we would certainly have appreciated more money, I wouldn’t have wanted my husband to trade the job he liked (which wasn’t even a dream job) for one he liked less that paid more. However, we have no debt and are fine living relatively simply. If you have large monthly expenses nd would resent cutting back, it’s a separate issue.

This isn’t a choice between his job satisfaction vs his salary, this is a three-way balancing act between his happiness, your happiness, and what’s best for the family (money, time, mood, etc). There isn’t a “right” answer, just a judgement call to make together.

There's a big difference between 155->100.
Not as big a difference between 355->300.

But I think the red flag to me is the fact that he very well may also be taking a demotion, not just a pay cut. Or that the attitude of the nonprofit is give, give, give - also a red flag (even if you can afford it). I would be very careful to check that out. I would also not romanticize the nonprofit element, as someone else warned.

Anonymous wrote:$300k is a lot of money. I hve a hard time seeing how living on $300k v $350k makes such a huge different in a life. But lay it out for us if you think it does.

+1

so going from 350 hhi to 300 hhi. that's not even 20% reduction. isn't your DH's happiness worth at least that much?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $350k to $300k isn't too bad, IMO. Are we talking $30k in private school tuition or $100k for a few kids? If you can't cut back on tuition, you may have to find other ways to save. But at the $350k range, that's going to be things like an affordable car instead of a luxury one, or not eating out as much, or renting a beach house for vacation instead of flying to Italy for 2 weeks.

I agree that if your DH is very passionate about this, he may harbor resentment if you "say no." Draw up the budget first, and choose where to make cuts. Make sure you do not take the pain fully upon yourself (like cutting the house cleaners and then YOU do all the cleaning). If he has an expensive hobby or expensive car, then he needs to make the sacrifice.

+1. How much is the private school tuition? You guys should still be able to live a great life on $300K.

It’s not only the monetary difference- the nonprofit is likely to also involve longer hours and less benefits than the fed job and have less job stability - all of which is key, especially when you have a child with special needs.

$300k is a lot of money. I hve a hard time seeing how living on $300k v $350k makes such a huge different in a life. But lay it out for us if you think it does.

Can he look at “nonprofit adjacent” jobs like trade associations? They usually pay much better.