Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much bitterness and condescension. It's perfectly normal to worry about changed in your body. The women who have been there just love to scare the moms-to-be. Yes, motherhood is hard, but you have a lot of power there. If you don't gain too much and keep a healthy lifestyle your body won't be be that different. If you genetically have a flat stomach it will come back that way. Particularly after the 1st pregnancy. My boobs are not too bad either after breastfeeding 2 kids.

I actually think your post is pretty condescending. Some women's bodies change and never go back. And the advice should not be "just don't gain 'too much'" it should be "be confidant in your skin".

We expect women to grow new humans and then snap back like nothing happened. It's ridiculous. Is it possible for some women? Yes. It is impossible for some women? Also yes. There's no one correct way to live life post-pregnancy.

What I find the most depressing about this thread is how conditioned to look good so many women are that they are terrified of pregnancy (our most biological impulse) because their tummy might not look perfect afterwards. What does that say about us as a culture? It's awful.

One doesn't exclude the other. We can care about the way our body feels and looks while knowing that's not where our value resides. We do this all the time don't we? We all walk a fine line between acceptance and the desire to look good. We make mental compromises where needed. Pregnancy doesn't radically change the way your body looks. Aging and lifestyle have a much much bigger impact. all And yes, I do stand by the advice not to gain excessive weight during pregnancy if the extra pounds are going to to be a big problem for you post-partum.

Anonymous wrote:Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Nope. Maybe in the first 2 months when you're up all night, but nope. Don't scare expectant moms with this drama. I have always had time to bathe myself and look decent.

Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Anonymous wrote:So much bitterness and condescension. It's perfectly normal to worry about changed in your body. The women who have been there just love to scare the moms-to-be. Yes, motherhood is hard, but you have a lot of power there. If you don't gain too much and keep a healthy lifestyle your body won't be be that different. If you genetically have a flat stomach it will come back that way. Particularly after the 1st pregnancy. My boobs are not too bad either after breastfeeding 2 kids.

+1. And again, watch out for diastasis recti, which can cause pregnant-looking belly not due to excess fat; if your belly is making a cone shape during an exercise, stop -- that's a sign your abs are experiencing too much pressure. Stretch marks are genetic as well. My mom didn't have them and neither do I.

Anonymous wrote:So much bitterness and condescension. It's perfectly normal to worry about changed in your body. The women who have been there just love to scare the moms-to-be. Yes, motherhood is hard, but you have a lot of power there. If you don't gain too much and keep a healthy lifestyle your body won't be be that different. If you genetically have a flat stomach it will come back that way. Particularly after the 1st pregnancy. My boobs are not too bad either after breastfeeding 2 kids.

I actually think your post is pretty condescending. Some women's bodies change and never go back. And the advice should not be "just don't gain 'too much'" it should be "be confidant in your skin".

We expect women to grow new humans and then snap back like nothing happened. It's ridiculous. Is it possible for some women? Yes. It is impossible for some women? Also yes. There's no one correct way to live life post-pregnancy.

What I find the most depressing about this thread is how conditioned to look good so many women are that they are terrified of pregnancy (our most biological impulse) because their tummy might not look perfect afterwards. What does that say about us as a culture? It's awful.

So much bitterness and condescension. It's perfectly normal to worry about changed in your body. The women who have been there just love to scare the moms-to-be. Yes, motherhood is hard, but you have a lot of power there. If you don't gain too much and keep a healthy lifestyle your body won't be be that different. If you genetically have a flat stomach it will come back that way. Particularly after the 1st pregnancy. My boobs are not too bad either after breastfeeding 2 kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are more than your petite body.

Yes, you have your whole self and identity that you’re about to lose as well.

LOL THIS hahaha.

How superficial to be worried just about the "body" lol. You have a lot to learn yet, OP. Good thing all of this is actually the best part of parenthood. You might kinda look back on who you were and feel like just a little bit of pity.

Anonymous wrote:I am naturally petite and trim and do not have to work hard to stay slender. Now that I’m pregnant I am terrified of losing my body.

Sorry. Don't gain a lot of weight and it will happen but it doesn't have to be permanent. I found water aerobics and water walking kept me exercising before and after birth. You'll be fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are more than your petite body.

Yes, you have your whole self and identity that you’re about to lose as well.

Sad but true. -mom of 2 still waiting to get back to the old me

Anonymous wrote:You are more than your petite body.

Yes, you have your whole self and identity that you’re about to lose as well.

I don’t know about anyone else but as a younger woman without children who used to obsess about my body, makeup, exercise routine, and clothes, I used to look around at moms with mommy pooches and flat butts who looked tired with no makeup on and wore not the nicest clothing and I judged them so much. I was the kind of person who would say things like “but you chose to have kids” and in my mind these women had “let themselves go” because they had kids and in my mind I was never ever going to do that if I had kids. Well the joke is on me because I’m now two kids and one pandemic into parenthood and I AM now those moms. What I did not know as a younger woman is that without family nearby and money to throw at childcare beyond the insane amount we pay just so my husband and I can work each day and the good fortune to have easy kids who sleep (ha ha ha!), motherhood is so hard. Women don’t let themselves go - they are consumed by the needs of small children and a society that expects families to just single handedly do it all. Op will learn this soon enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age is more likely to affect your body than pregnancy. If you’re concerned, start exercising- it’s healthy for your heart anyhow.

That’s the best way to look at it in my opinion. everyone loses their looks but at least you have kids!

Exactly - you're going to "lose" your body anyway. Nobody can tell which 70 year olds had a kid and which didn't. I mean, look at 40 and 50 year old nuns - they've never had kids, and their bodies are basically mom bodies. So would you rather be a 70 year old with kids or a 70 year old with no kids, and the exact same body?

Plus yes, "losing your body" is the wrong way to look at it. It's not like your body at 25 is "your body" and everything after that is somehow not your body.

AMEN to this.

I am also petite and slender... had two kids... gained a healthy amount of weight (about 30 lbs) and stayed healthy throughout my pregnancies... lost the weight easily while breastfeeding both kids... but, honey, let me tell you... my body is NOT the same. It is so much stronger and fitter and healthier now in my 40s than I ever was in my 20s and 30s. Yes, my boobs are saggier and my ribs are wider and I have some extra skin around my stomach - but my body is a miracle now. It has supported life and been through childbirth and fed two amazing kids. I am also so much more committed to living a healthy lifestyle as a mom - I have little people watching now. So I drink less and make healthy, whole foods-based eating decisions, and I run and walk and hike... and truthfully my body is way better (even if way different) than it was before I had kids.

Sanctimommy has entered the chat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age is more likely to affect your body than pregnancy. If you’re concerned, start exercising- it’s healthy for your heart anyhow.

That’s the best way to look at it in my opinion. everyone loses their looks but at least you have kids!

Exactly - you're going to "lose" your body anyway. Nobody can tell which 70 year olds had a kid and which didn't. I mean, look at 40 and 50 year old nuns - they've never had kids, and their bodies are basically mom bodies. So would you rather be a 70 year old with kids or a 70 year old with no kids, and the exact same body?

Plus yes, "losing your body" is the wrong way to look at it. It's not like your body at 25 is "your body" and everything after that is somehow not your body.

AMEN to this.

I am also petite and slender... had two kids... gained a healthy amount of weight (about 30 lbs) and stayed healthy throughout my pregnancies... lost the weight easily while breastfeeding both kids... but, honey, let me tell you... my body is NOT the same. It is so much stronger and fitter and healthier now in my 40s than I ever was in my 20s and 30s. Yes, my boobs are saggier and my ribs are wider and I have some extra skin around my stomach - but my body is a miracle now. It has supported life and been through childbirth and fed two amazing kids. I am also so much more committed to living a healthy lifestyle as a mom - I have little people watching now. So I drink less and make healthy, whole foods-based eating decisions, and I run and walk and hike... and truthfully my body is way better (even if way different) than it was before I had kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% if you have more than one your body will suffer. Once you are holding the baby you really won't care.

Not true. I have two and got no stretch marks on my stomach. I have a ton from puberty in other places. Just gain weight evenly. I lost all of the weight by 3 months and was even skinnier than before. No exercise.

I heard you don’t get stretch marks as easily later if you already had a bunch. Your skin loses its elasticity. So good/bad.

Op, you’re not going to “lose” your body. If your alive still, it’ll be right there with you. Don’t talk nonsense. Work out anyway, it’s super unhealthy not to.

The stretch marks are basically a scar. If you re-scar a healed scar it's not gonna make a new scar. Unfortunately (or fortunately) stretchmarks are genetic. Not much you can do about them other than not gain to excess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age is more likely to affect your body than pregnancy. If you’re concerned, start exercising- it’s healthy for your heart anyhow.

That’s the best way to look at it in my opinion. everyone loses their looks but at least you have kids!

Exactly - you're going to "lose" your body anyway. Nobody can tell which 70 year olds had a kid and which didn't. I mean, look at 40 and 50 year old nuns - they've never had kids, and their bodies are basically mom bodies. So would you rather be a 70 year old with kids or a 70 year old with no kids, and the exact same body?

Plus yes, "losing your body" is the wrong way to look at it. It's not like your body at 25 is "your body" and everything after that is somehow not your body.