Anonymous wrote:The answer is pretty straightforward. You spend all your money on your other child and that child alone will inherit your entire estate. Daughter gets nothing because she has the trust.

It may not come out to the same amount but that's the best that can be done.

Anonymous wrote:First, let me clarify that having a trust doesn't make one lazy. I know plenty of lazy poor people. I have one, most of my friends have one and we're all employed full time in real jobs. I'm a data scientist, my BFF is a professor, my H works on sales, and two others work for Uber and AWS. Ultimately, these are your uncle's $ and this was his wish. I know life is not fair and there's more in life than money. Maybe your DD2 will marry the next Bezos, or start her own company and sell it, or cure cancer, or win the lottery.

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Anonymous wrote:Similar kind of in my family. Each grandchild got the gift tax exclusion $15K annually, but the oldest who was 12 at grandparents death got 12 years and the youngest was only 4 and has so much less. Executor who had been POA during life made zero effort to rectify or consider the discrepancy even though grandparent wanted everything even.

Wait, are you one of my cousins? This happened with in my family. I am the youngest and have always felt this was unfair. There are ways to rectify this in a will - it’s called an equalization provision but my grandfather who was the eldest grandchild himself did not put one in unfortunately.

Op, you Can I have this reviewed by a good state attorney, but I doubt there’s anything you can do to equalize it. It’s not your money, it’s your daughter’s money. Be careful you don’t hire some estate attorney who says he can try to resolve it and all he does is waste your money and some sort of estate battle. As for being worried about your daughter having this money, read the terms of the trust. It’s possible that they are strict and she won’t have much access until she’s older. Who’s the trustee?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the terms of the trust? If you can use the money for things that will benefit both children together that would be ideal. Family vacation - renovation to the family house - family vehicle etc. This only really works while your daughter is a minor. But I would try to balance it out as best I could between my own children. I wouldn't want to treat my children differently but depending on if and when you daughter will gain full access to the trust money you need to educate her in how to manage the money. If its just a free for all when she turns 18 she is going to need some guidance or she will just blow through it. I'm not sure there is much you can do for your nephew.

No
The money was left to a specific person, you cannot just take a kids money and spend on as family vacation. WTF!!!!

Actually, if OP is the trustee, of course she can.

The trust belongs to the daughter snd can be used for her. I imagine there are limits on withdrawals, but a vacation wouldn’t even come close to touching the principle and directly benefits the daughter. She’s 8. She literally cannot go on vacation alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the terms of the trust? If you can use the money for things that will benefit both children together that would be ideal. Family vacation - renovation to the family house - family vehicle etc. This only really works while your daughter is a minor. But I would try to balance it out as best I could between my own children. I wouldn't want to treat my children differently but depending on if and when you daughter will gain full access to the trust money you need to educate her in how to manage the money. If its just a free for all when she turns 18 she is going to need some guidance or she will just blow through it. I'm not sure there is much you can do for your nephew.

No
The money was left to a specific person, you cannot just take a kids money and spend on as family vacation. WTF!!!!

Anonymous wrote:Similar kind of in my family. Each grandchild got the gift tax exclusion $15K annually, but the oldest who was 12 at grandparents death got 12 years and the youngest was only 4 and has so much less. Executor who had been POA during life made zero effort to rectify or consider the discrepancy even though grandparent wanted everything even.

Anonymous wrote:My uncle passed away recently (mom’s brother) and we knew he was wealthy but did not know just how wealthy until the recent reading of his will. His wife died many years ago and they never had children. He was fond of my oldest daughter who is 8, but I would not say they had a super close relationship although that is irrelevant anyway. We only saw him once per year and he would show her card tricks which she loved.

Turns out that other than some charities he has earmarked for generous donations, he is leaving several million dollars to my older daughter. This is a bit awkward since he didn’t leave anything to my other child or my nephew. The money has been set up in a trust and there are some rules about what it can and can’t be used for.

My parents and brother are baffled and furious because of this strange inequity - again it’s not like my daughter had much of a relationship with him at all. I am worried about sibling resentment down the line when my younger one realizes the helping hand my older one got to pay for college and grad school, a down payment on a home and so much more. While we can certainly save up for our younger child to go to college and grad school, we can’t give her the kind of money my older one will have at her disposal. I am also not thrilled about my older one having quite that much money as I worry she will never work as hard (or even feel she needs a job post college) and just become a lazy trust fund kid… so I would be thrilled to give some to the other two kids but it doesn’t seem like that is a possibility.

Has this happened in any other families specifically with younger kids? It seems like the answer is no, but is there any way we can redistribute some of the money to the other kids so they get something too? My parents, brother and I are not trying to get any money for ourselves so that is not at all what this is about - it’s purely about the kids here.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment with Debby Cochran in Tysons. She will tell you. If you are the trustee, you will have some discretion. I know Bc my aunt is my trustee and she spends the money. What am I going to do, sue her?

I might sue my aunt in that scenario. How much is in the trust and how much is she skimming?

Skimming implies taking money for their own use but trustees do have the right to be paid, and really should be paid because it is a time consuming and thankless job if you are not a beneficiary of the trust. If a bank is trustee, I can guarantee you that they will be paid generously.