Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. My cousin married her sisters rapist. That’s ghetto.

What? That is crazy.

OP here. He is also raising the kid with my cousin who was a result of the rape. My cousin ( who was raped at 14) is now protecting my cousins ( her sisters) 15 daughter because the husband had made passes at her. My cousin refuses to believe it.

How is he raising the kid with the other cousin? I think you're making shit up.

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend thinks you should invite the child-abusing rapist? Or he thinks that in order to invite his extended family, he needs to be equitable and have you invite yours, and he's not fully aware of the details of the situation in your family?

These are two very different takes -- the second one involves a heart-to-heart conversation with him about why you need to set boundaries with your family. The first is a screaming red flag.

Exactly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. I don’t care about being sensitive.

And we don't care about your wedding.

OP here. Then don’t reply.

I can see why you are having trouble coming to an agreement with your boyfriend you don't want to hear any opinion but your own, and when other's suggest something you don't like you either get nasty or have a million and one excuses as to why you can't do a reasonable thing. .

It's pretty easy not to use the term ghetto which is offensive, instead, you just doubled down.

But let's be real here, you don't actually want to talk about planning your wedding or get advice on that you want to gossip about your cousin being molested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. I don’t care about being sensitive.

And we don't care about your wedding.

OP here. Then don’t reply.

What a charmer this one is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what about 60-80 people? Both your stepdad and bio dad could walk you down the aisle together. Or courthouse ceremony with a big party a few months later?

OP here. I don’t want my bio dad to walk me down the aisle. He was never really in my life and honestly has no manners. He acts like a child. My stepdad has been there for me my whole life. I know I will get backlash from some family members if I exclude my dad from the wedding. He will not come if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle.

That makes it easy then. First I wouldn’t have anyone walk you down the aisle and your dad can get offended and not go. Or don’t invite your dad and ignore family that cares you didn’t. My dad died before my wedding but I had no intention of inviting him because he was a drunk and would have ruined the day. If I were paying for half my wedding, I’d invite the people I wanted there.

Your boyfriend thinks you should invite the child-abusing rapist? Or he thinks that in order to invite his extended family, he needs to be equitable and have you invite yours, and he's not fully aware of the details of the situation in your family?

These are two very different takes -- the second one involves a heart-to-heart conversation with him about why you need to set boundaries with your family. The first is a screaming red flag.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. I don’t care about being sensitive.

And we don't care about your wedding.

OP here. Then don’t reply.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. My cousin married her sisters rapist. That’s ghetto.

What? That is crazy.

OP here. He is also raising the kid with my cousin who was a result of the rape. My cousin ( who was raped at 14) is now protecting my cousins ( her sisters) 15 daughter because the husband had made passes at her. My cousin refuses to believe it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what about 60-80 people? Both your stepdad and bio dad could walk you down the aisle together. Or courthouse ceremony with a big party a few months later?

OP here. I don’t want my bio dad to walk me down the aisle. He was never really in my life and honestly has no manners. He acts like a child. My stepdad has been there for me my whole life. I know I will get backlash from some family members if I exclude my dad from the wedding. He will not come if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle.

Then tell him he will be missed and keep on keepin on

Exactly. That is the drama free way to make this decision.

But bear in mind: you’re not engaged. This is idle talk. Do not waste mental energy on this until there’s a ring and then consider whether you want to split the cost of a larger wedding than you want.

How old are you and BF?
How long have you been dating?

You should probably get engaged first, or maybe not you seem a bit too immature for marriage.

But planning to get engaged is not engaged.

And then you need to figure out budget, location etc, that will determine the number of people you invite.

Lastly, your wedding is not the time to enact personal vendettas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what about 60-80 people? Both your stepdad and bio dad could walk you down the aisle together. Or courthouse ceremony with a big party a few months later?

OP here. I don’t want my bio dad to walk me down the aisle. He was never really in my life and honestly has no manners. He acts like a child. My stepdad has been there for me my whole life. I know I will get backlash from some family members if I exclude my dad from the wedding. He will not come if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle.

Great. Tell him your stepdad is walking you down the aisle and let him decide not to come. Problem solved. Anyone who is going to make a fuss about it can stay home, too. I wouldn't invite them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. I don’t care about being sensitive.

And we don't care about your wedding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what about 60-80 people? Both your stepdad and bio dad could walk you down the aisle together. Or courthouse ceremony with a big party a few months later?

OP here. I don’t want my bio dad to walk me down the aisle. He was never really in my life and honestly has no manners. He acts like a child. My stepdad has been there for me my whole life. I know I will get backlash from some family members if I exclude my dad from the wedding. He will not come if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle.

Then tell him he will be missed and keep on keepin on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what about 60-80 people? Both your stepdad and bio dad could walk you down the aisle together. Or courthouse ceremony with a big party a few months later?

OP here. I don’t want my bio dad to walk me down the aisle. He was never really in my life and honestly has no manners. He acts like a child. My stepdad has been there for me my whole life. I know I will get backlash from some family members if I exclude my dad from the wedding. He will not come if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle.

It seems you have some things to sort out before getting married.