Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so difficult to find men who are educated, mature, and have good careers? There are so many trashy men on the apps, they just want hookups or are working a “job” but don’t have a proper career. I really want to start a family and this is depressing. Just venting. UGH

I hear you.

The harsh truth is that you are going to have to broaden (note I did not say lower, I said BROADEN) your standards to include men that might not be your initial “type.” There are plenty of mature men, 25-45, with jobs and careers, dating with the intention of finding a partner to start a family with. These might include, however, men with:

Dadbods or super skinny
Under 5’9
Weird facial hair or tattoos
A different race/ethnicity/religion/nationality than you
Different political views than you
More introverted; less charismatic or outgoing
Might not live in your exact neighborhood


You are going to have to give more different kinds of people a chance. The fact is that there are more educated and eligible women than men.

White men are a dead end/time wasters IMO. Immigrant men from cultures that prioritize marriage are dating to get married, not to fool around. Of course you're going to need to find someone who isn't totally culturally incompatible but it can be done.

As a white woman I find this more true in theory than in reality. A lot of white men are dead end time wasters but I feel like I get a read on them better. Immigrant men, nonwhite men of very different cultural backgrounds, I'd be open to date and marry but I have trouble understanding whether they take me seriously or not. I've had too many experiences in my early 20s with immigrant/men of color assuming that white American women are for sex and nonserious relationships while they would ultimately marry "their own." This has unfortunately conditioned me to being skeptical of men of other cultural backgrounds and whether they are sincere and would consider a white american woman for marriage. This is probably racist and problematic in some way but it's unfortunately how it's turned out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so difficult to find men who are educated, mature, and have good careers? There are so many trashy men on the apps, they just want hookups or are working a “job” but don’t have a proper career. I really want to start a family and this is depressing. Just venting. UGH

What’s your definition of UMC?

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so difficult to find men who are educated, mature, and have good careers? There are so many trashy men on the apps, they just want hookups or are working a “job” but don’t have a proper career. I really want to start a family and this is depressing. Just venting. UGH

Anonymous wrote:If you were hot and very desirable, the guys would find you.

I’m from ny and went to school in Boston. I met guys everywhere - standing outside, grocery store, bars, elevators, work, friends of friends, etc.

I met my DH at a conference I attended. He didn’t actually attend the conference. He was just meeting an old friend.

I missed the whole dating app scene. I can’t help but think that good old fashioned meeting in real life is better.

I have 3 kids. Youngest is a girl. She knows so many boys already. I was just telling DH she will have so many good dating/marrying options.

Anonymous wrote:My friend swears that trade show are the place to meet men. She met her current boyfriend at a coin/numismatic trade show. She isn't into coins. But they all have disposable income and are generally educated or at least have a hobby.

Anonymous wrote:At work or friends of friends from college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so difficult to find men who are educated, mature, and have good careers? There are so many trashy men on the apps, they just want hookups or are working a “job” but don’t have a proper career. I really want to start a family and this is depressing. Just venting. UGH

I hear you.

The harsh truth is that you are going to have to broaden (note I did not say lower, I said BROADEN) your standards to include men that might not be your initial “type.” There are plenty of mature men, 25-45, with jobs and careers, dating with the intention of finding a partner to start a family with. These might include, however, men with:

Dadbods or super skinny
Under 5’9
Weird facial hair or tattoos
A different race/ethnicity/religion/nationality than you
Different political views than you
More introverted; less charismatic or outgoing
Might not live in your exact neighborhood


You are going to have to give more different kinds of people a chance. The fact is that there are more educated and eligible women than men.

White men are a dead end/time wasters IMO. Immigrant men from cultures that prioritize marriage are dating to get married, not to fool around. Of course you're going to need to find someone who isn't totally culturally incompatible but it can be done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had pretty good luck by getting a membership at a very pricy gym. You don’t want an old people gym, check out a few and find the one with the best men. Was totally worth the extra $150/month for me

PP, where did you decide to join?

This was over 10 years ago, they’ve since closed down. I also used to drive REALLY far to get there, ha. Could take up to an hour in traffic. But totally worth it for the men.