Anonymous wrote:I’d find that completely annoying. In my (limited) experience, families like that either have a control-freak parent or a kid who can’t handle when things don’t turn out exactly as they wish. Either way, annoying, but really more deserving of pity.

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Anonymous wrote:Your kid is telling her friends you won't allow her due to covid concerns. It doesn't matter what you tell other parents. The ability to frame the story is now gone when you have teens and social media and more.

There's no need for pushy notes, for sure. I think since most people in this area are vaccinated at that age, people are resuming most social activities, indoor and out. So perhaps you are more cautious than most of your kid's friend set. And that's why a parent (who I assume you know) is reaching out. I would have phrased it about what you'd like to see to make you more comfortable with allowing your daughter to go.

The kids are having a lot of social skill issues right now. They've missed a year of socializing in appropriate ways. Personally, I would balance the value of allowing your child to socialize with the risk of COVID.

OP here, I acknowledge that and I’ve tried to balance safety concerns (I have 2 unvaxxed kids at home including a kid with immune issues and a 2 month old) with giving my DD room to do things with her friends. I’ve tried to indulge as much as possible but sometimes “no” is the only option. It’s hard enough dealing with pressure to do this for DD and DD pleading to do things - last thing I need is another parent on my case. It’s just a vent.

Well this is just the beginning! Your daughter is entering her teen years where kids spend lots of time together. I do think it’s unfair to keep her home to protect younger kids?

NP. Well that’s YOUR call. If you want your unvaxxed kids to get covid because you think your teen jut HAS to socialize indoors or doing whatever they want rather than keeping things outside, that’s your call. But maybe op wants to be more cautious. It is fine for her to prioritize her younger kids health.

I’m sorry, but I think it’s quite cruel to not allow your child to socialize with other kids. Having an “outdoor only” rule effectively shuts out spending time with friends. OP may think they’re helping the little ones, but what they’re doing is hurting the 13 year old. Btw, vaccines work.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why you see this as pressure. It’s not out of the ordinary for parents to reach out to other parents.

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't seem like pressure and I suspect you are reading a lot into this. It is normal at this age to verify with parents.

Anonymous wrote:The parents might be overly pushy, but do they understand your family situation? If you only allow a vaccinated 13-year-old (I'm assuming that she is vaccinated) to participate in outdoor activities because of risk factors of other family members, maybe it should be your role to contact the parents, say that you appreciate the situation, and explain why you said "no." It's not your daughter's decision, it's yours. As others said, you should definitely encourage your daughter to be aware of the boundaries you have set and to explain them to her friends.

You are going to have to balance your DD's social needs with your family risks. If the answer is always going to be "no" to anything indoors, it is likely that the invitations will stop coming. What happens then? For some indoor activities, is there any way your DD could participate wearing a mask and not eating? I did that with my DD earlier in the pandemic. Another possibility would be for you to allow your DD to participate in small indoor activities with families you feel comfortable with wearing a mask, and then have her continue to mask in the home for 10 days or 5 days plus a negative COVID test.

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Anonymous wrote:Your kid is telling her friends you won't allow her due to covid concerns. It doesn't matter what you tell other parents. The ability to frame the story is now gone when you have teens and social media and more.

There's no need for pushy notes, for sure. I think since most people in this area are vaccinated at that age, people are resuming most social activities, indoor and out. So perhaps you are more cautious than most of your kid's friend set. And that's why a parent (who I assume you know) is reaching out. I would have phrased it about what you'd like to see to make you more comfortable with allowing your daughter to go.

The kids are having a lot of social skill issues right now. They've missed a year of socializing in appropriate ways. Personally, I would balance the value of allowing your child to socialize with the risk of COVID.

OP here, I acknowledge that and I’ve tried to balance safety concerns (I have 2 unvaxxed kids at home including a kid with immune issues and a 2 month old) with giving my DD room to do things with her friends. I’ve tried to indulge as much as possible but sometimes “no” is the only option. It’s hard enough dealing with pressure to do this for DD and DD pleading to do things - last thing I need is another parent on my case. It’s just a vent.

Well this is just the beginning! Your daughter is entering her teen years where kids spend lots of time together. I do think it’s unfair to keep her home to protect younger kids?

NP. Well that’s YOUR call. If you want your unvaxxed kids to get covid because you think your teen jut HAS to socialize indoors or doing whatever they want rather than keeping things outside, that’s your call. But maybe op wants to be more cautious. It is fine for her to prioritize her younger kids health.

I’m sorry, but I think it’s quite cruel to not allow your child to socialize with other kids. Having an “outdoor only” rule effectively shuts out spending time with friends. OP may think they’re helping the little ones, but what they’re doing is hurting the 13 year old. Btw, vaccines work.

You seriously don't think 13 year olds can find things yo do outside even in winter? Long before the pandemic we hiked, biked, shot baskets, played soccer, tennis whatever for hours as a family OUTSIDE. What a sad world we live in when a parent berates another for having the nerve to limit socializing to outside and in school during a pandemic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is telling her friends you won't allow her due to covid concerns. It doesn't matter what you tell other parents. The ability to frame the story is now gone when you have teens and social media and more.

There's no need for pushy notes, for sure. I think since most people in this area are vaccinated at that age, people are resuming most social activities, indoor and out. So perhaps you are more cautious than most of your kid's friend set. And that's why a parent (who I assume you know) is reaching out. I would have phrased it about what you'd like to see to make you more comfortable with allowing your daughter to go.

The kids are having a lot of social skill issues right now. They've missed a year of socializing in appropriate ways. Personally, I would balance the value of allowing your child to socialize with the risk of COVID.

OP here, I acknowledge that and I’ve tried to balance safety concerns (I have 2 unvaxxed kids at home including a kid with immune issues and a 2 month old) with giving my DD room to do things with her friends. I’ve tried to indulge as much as possible but sometimes “no” is the only option. It’s hard enough dealing with pressure to do this for DD and DD pleading to do things - last thing I need is another parent on my case. It’s just a vent.

Well this is just the beginning! Your daughter is entering her teen years where kids spend lots of time together. I do think it’s unfair to keep her home to protect younger kids?

NP. Well that’s YOUR call. If you want your unvaxxed kids to get covid because you think your teen jut HAS to socialize indoors or doing whatever they want rather than keeping things outside, that’s your call. But maybe op wants to be more cautious. It is fine for her to prioritize her younger kids health.

I’m sorry, but I think it’s quite cruel to not allow your child to socialize with other kids. Having an “outdoor only” rule effectively shuts out spending time with friends. OP may think they’re helping the little ones, but what they’re doing is hurting the 13 year old. Btw, vaccines work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why you see this as pressure. It’s not out of the ordinary for parents to reach out to other parents.

At 13??? Not in my social group! Kids make plans on their own. If there is an extraordinary event like an out of town vacation a parent might call for extra details but that's it.