Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How close are you to your cousin? I can't imagine missing a family members wedding for a friend even my best friend. Now if my bestie was really far along in planning and I had already RSVP and agreed to be in the wedding I would attend the wedding but would try my hardest to make my family members reception.

It's funny you say this because I actually came on here to say the exact opposite to me it's a no brainer to choose your very close BFF who most likely has been by your side through everything because you choose that person to bond with than a distant family member you most likely just see on occasion. Chosen family comes first.

A lot of families are dysfunctional. I just don't happen to have one. Cousins are just as close to me as siblings. I have over a dozen 1st cousins who I've spent every Christmas, birthday, holiday with since I was as born and I'm on my 30s. I also have best friends that I also am very family like with but I was raised to believe family comes first. Now if it were some distant cousin I doubt the op would be asking the question.

NP. But the OP made it clear in her OP that she was a lot closer to her BFF than her cousin. In her case clearly her cousin isn't like a sibling to her. Your case is the exception to the rule I feel. Most people are a lot closer and involved in the lives of their BFF more than cousins

Not to mention she has been friends with this girl since 2nd grade so the PPs point about the cousin has been around for every occasion it seems like the BFF has too if she has been around since 2nd grade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How close are you to your cousin? I can't imagine missing a family members wedding for a friend even my best friend. Now if my bestie was really far along in planning and I had already RSVP and agreed to be in the wedding I would attend the wedding but would try my hardest to make my family members reception.

It's funny you say this because I actually came on here to say the exact opposite to me it's a no brainer to choose your very close BFF who most likely has been by your side through everything because you choose that person to bond with than a distant family member you most likely just see on occasion. Chosen family comes first.

A lot of families are dysfunctional. I just don't happen to have one. Cousins are just as close to me as siblings. I have over a dozen 1st cousins who I've spent every Christmas, birthday, holiday with since I was as born and I'm on my 30s. I also have best friends that I also am very family like with but I was raised to believe family comes first. Now if it were some distant cousin I doubt the op would be asking the question.

NP. But the OP made it clear in her OP that she was a lot closer to her BFF than her cousin. In her case clearly her cousin isn't like a sibling to her. Your case is the exception to the rule I feel. Most people are a lot closer and involved in the lives of their BFF more than cousins

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How close are you to your cousin? I can't imagine missing a family members wedding for a friend even my best friend. Now if my bestie was really far along in planning and I had already RSVP and agreed to be in the wedding I would attend the wedding but would try my hardest to make my family members reception.

It's funny you say this because I actually came on here to say the exact opposite to me it's a no brainer to choose your very close BFF who most likely has been by your side through everything because you choose that person to bond with than a distant family member you most likely just see on occasion. Chosen family comes first.

A lot of families are dysfunctional. I just don't happen to have one. Cousins are just as close to me as siblings. I have over a dozen 1st cousins who I've spent every Christmas, birthday, holiday with since I was as born and I'm on my 30s. I also have best friends that I also am very family like with but I was raised to believe family comes first. Now if it were some distant cousin I doubt the op would be asking the question.

You just literally said your best friends are pretty much family to you so then if you say family comes first wouldn't they fit into that category? Or were you just raised to be blood alone is more important?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How close are you to your cousin? I can't imagine missing a family members wedding for a friend even my best friend. Now if my bestie was really far along in planning and I had already RSVP and agreed to be in the wedding I would attend the wedding but would try my hardest to make my family members reception.

It's funny you say this because I actually came on here to say the exact opposite to me it's a no brainer to choose your very close BFF who most likely has been by your side through everything because you choose that person to bond with than a distant family member you most likely just see on occasion. Chosen family comes first.

A lot of families are dysfunctional. I just don't happen to have one. Cousins are just as close to me as siblings. I have over a dozen 1st cousins who I've spent every Christmas, birthday, holiday with since I was as born and I'm on my 30s. I also have best friends that I also am very family like with but I was raised to believe family comes first. Now if it were some distant cousin I doubt the op would be asking the question.

I had this exact problem and chose the BFF. No regrets.

Anonymous wrote:You get invited to two weddings that are taking place on the same day. Your best friend's that you have been friends with since second grade and your cousin who you are close with but not as much so as your best friend. Your best friend is pretty much a sister to you. Whose wedding do you go to and why? Also you are in your BFFs wedding but not your cousin's.

BFF as a bridesmaid. Are you a separate invite for the cousin or added on as and family? Oddly my adult DC's have gotten cousin wedding invites in the and family category even when they have their own households.

And at which wedding would the bride or groom miss OP's presence? Many weddings have some cousins as courtesy invites for appeasement of aunts-uncles and if you invite first cousin x one must invite first cousin y. Frankly the actual bride or groom might not care if OP the cousin doesn't rsvp yes. Cousins they don't know rsvping NO can add a slot for a friend's plus one or another cousin they do know to get a plus one.

I would choose the wedding I most wanted to attend and tell the other person I was already committed that day, regardless of which invitation I actually received first (assuming I received them both at a similar time.)

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why everyone is saying it's pretty much a no brainer to attend the BFF's over the cousin's wedding? She may be closer to her BFF than her cousin but her cousin is family. Family comes first.

I haven’t seen my cousin in 10 years. I certainly wouldn’t prioritize her wedding over my best friend’s if it came to a choice.

Bff

Anonymous wrote:You get invited to two weddings that are taking place on the same day. Your best friend's that you have been friends with since second grade and your cousin who you are close with but not as much so as your best friend. Your best friend is pretty much a sister to you. Whose wedding do you go to and why? Also you are in your BFFs wedding but not your cousin's.

Best friend.

Even if you weren't in the wedding a long time BFF > cousin you aren't close to.

BFF, since they asked you to be in the wedding. Cousin will understand.