Anonymous wrote:PP here, another thing my ds (state flagship school) is struggling with is not knowing people well enough to want to commit to signing a lease with them for next August. I assured him he would not be homeless, but it's stressful to deal with. He's also not a partier/drinker so making friends has been a little harder, slower.

Same with my DS at Virginia Tech. He said he'll look for a roommate in the database housing provides or just go to one of the student housing complexes that does their own roommate matching. He does say he's enjoying life there but feels awkward proposing living together to guys who right now are just pretty casual friends.

Anonymous wrote:My kid who graduated from a Big 3 is at a top 25 school. Kid was not one of the tippy top students in high school and probably fell in the top 1/3 or so. So far he is finding the academics fairly easy at college. In a couple of writing classes, he has gotten the highest grade which has given him a lot of confidence. He also has a ton of friends which is good news and the bad news. We feel he is burning the candle on both ends with studying and pledging for a frat. He has pretty much been sick all semester with a lingering cough.

oh boy that is a familiar refrain. The tons of friends taking up alot of time (which is a great thing really) and the sick especially!

Anonymous wrote:Weird that her advisor commented on how hard her schedule is, given the fact that her advisor had to (most likely) sign off on that schedule.

I believe on giving kids a light course load the first semester (though still full time of course), while they are making the adjustment to being at college. No one knows in advance who will have trouble with the transition.

Nope. This is a large state university and she did not have an assigned advisor when she was enrolling this summer. She was able to pose questions to the deans prior to enrolling but no advisor. She now has an advisor who she will have until she declares a major as a sophomore. Why do people on this board always think they know everything?

My kid who graduated from a Big 3 is at a top 25 school. Kid was not one of the tippy top students in high school and probably fell in the top 1/3 or so. So far he is finding the academics fairly easy at college. In a couple of writing classes, he has gotten the highest grade which has given him a lot of confidence. He also has a ton of friends which is good news and the bad news. We feel he is burning the candle on both ends with studying and pledging for a frat. He has pretty much been sick all semester with a lingering cough.

Weird that her advisor commented on how hard her schedule is, given the fact that her advisor had to (most likely) sign off on that schedule.

I believe on giving kids a light course load the first semester (though still full time of course), while they are making the adjustment to being at college. No one knows in advance who will have trouble with the transition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine kid is not much of a talker, but on his recent trip home, he wanted to leave campus as late as possible because he had some club thing going on, and he returned earlier than I expected because he had another thing going on. This is a kid who joined zero clubs in high school.

He's doing fine academically, which is not the case for a lot of the kids whose lawnmower parents post on the FB page. But he's not taking chemistry, which seems to be one of the biggest sources of woe. (As is traditional, I believe?)

Oh trust me, chemistry sucks lol it’s a weed out class at most schools and it’s not easy especially having taken HS chem at home.
Hoping my kid passes lol. She has A and B in her other courses but even her advisor remarked on what a difficult schedule she choose this semester. Unfortunately Chem is a two semester class so she’ll have it next semester too

So true. So many change of major declarations happen after college chemistry. That's the class that determines if you'll continue on a STEM path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad to hear these reports. I am a prof at a top 10 school and an advisor to freshman this year. I think on average they are more unhappy and more disconnected and more tired than I have seen students. I have at least 2 in crisis and a few I can tell are struggling but putting on a brave face. I did see some students look genuinely happy. I feel for these kids - this is such a tough transition, always, but especially this year. Take care all! And if there are things profs can do would love to hear, although like everyone else we are exhausted.

My DD has struggled mightily this year. Much more drinking that she expected - and though she drinks and goes out regularly, it's even alot for her. Took her awhile to find her balance there. Socially she's doing ok but yes big transition from COVID junior and senior years. Big school, trying to find resources and get to know profs is harder. I think she'll make it out alive LOL come December and be better prepared to really hit the ground running in January when she returns.

<<Big school, trying to find resources and get to know profs is harder. >>

This outcome is so predictable. I never understood the appeal of a big school. But...to each his own.

This is why it seems big schools are easier socially and small schools are easier academically. Makes for a tough decision that is very dependent on your kid’s personality.

Just to comfort those of you worrying about your kid's performance so far.

I just looked at my college senior's transcript (which is not something I do often, but she asked me to review a grad school application). By FAR, her worse semester was her first semester. It was not a disaster, but has clearly gotten her groove and her grades have been consistently better after that.

My point is that you should not bemoan their fate, living through distance learning due to COVID. My kid was a freshman long before COVID, and her transcript reflects her adjustment to college. So make peace with it. I hope that your kids also have a smooth adjustment. Just give them time.

My OOS freshman, who is not a drinker, went to a bar for the first time with friends and shortly after leaving the place got raided. Has decided the party scene is not for him. Has made a group of friends - but to me, these seem like "freshman friends", that first group you glom onto but figure out later is really not the tribe you connect with the best. Some midterm pressure with lots of projects coming due at once, but has adjusted well to being 2000 miles from home, found part time job on campus, and seems to be handling things well. My kid had a lot of significant ups and downs during HS, so thankful that so far college life, while not without its stressors, has been less bumpy - grades good so far and seems content.

Anonymous wrote:PP here, another thing my ds (state flagship school) is struggling with is not knowing people well enough to want to commit to signing a lease with them for next August. I assured him he would not be homeless, but it's stressful to deal with. He's also not a partier/drinker so making friends has been a little harder, slower.

Is this about Virginia tech?

DS is a Bowdoin and loves it. We rarely hear from him. He answers every third text.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here, another thing my ds (state flagship school) is struggling with is not knowing people well enough to want to commit to signing a lease with them for next August. I assured him he would not be homeless, but it's stressful to deal with. He's also not a partier/drinker so making friends has been a little harder, slower.

Oh that sounds like my DS as well... describes him to a T. Thankfully he and his roommates are twins separated at birth so they found a third to live with and rented a four bedroom for next year. They will meet a fourth im sure somewhere along the way. I am so thankful he found his roommate because if he didn't, he'd be very much on his own I'm sure because he is also not a big partier and has trouble making friendships at school because of that.

I wish there was a club for these kids just based on "not a partier, not interested in frats" group! Glad yours found his people. Ds slowly is.

Anonymous wrote:PP here, another thing my ds (state flagship school) is struggling with is not knowing people well enough to want to commit to signing a lease with them for next August. I assured him he would not be homeless, but it's stressful to deal with. He's also not a partier/drinker so making friends has been a little harder, slower.

Oh that sounds like my DS as well... describes him to a T. Thankfully he and his roommates are twins separated at birth so they found a third to live with and rented a four bedroom for next year. They will meet a fourth im sure somewhere along the way. I am so thankful he found his roommate because if he didn't, he'd be very much on his own I'm sure because he is also not a big partier and has trouble making friendships at school because of that.

PP here, another thing my ds (state flagship school) is struggling with is not knowing people well enough to want to commit to signing a lease with them for next August. I assured him he would not be homeless, but it's stressful to deal with. He's also not a partier/drinker so making friends has been a little harder, slower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Socially, my DD is happy. At a "Top 20" school, from a W school in MCPS. Academically, she is feeling more challenge than expected. Two years of MCPS virtual instruction wasn't enough preparation for what she is experiencing. However, she says she is feeling more encouraged post-midterms.

My DD is feeling this too as s STEM major. Virtual Chemistry really did not prepare her for college chemistry and lab.

This is totally My D too. She's a STEM major at a T20 and is woefully unprepared for the caliber of several of her courses thanks to 1.5 years of all virtual instruction. She is extremely happy socially, but the academic adjustment for my top kid at a top school has been rough.

How do you know this is due to virtual instruction? The college transition has always been major, and some first years struggle.

It is one reason that I am against pushing kids to the absolute highest rank school they can squeeze into. Big fish, small pond, has its advantages.