Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my own baby shower? Yes I would. Way to bury the lede.

Did I? I said in the very first sentence it’s for me. I didn’t write “your baby shower”in the title because I thought that would imply this was my main/only shower, when my main shower is being thrown here, this one is just extra.

Anyway I’m leaning towards no, if they can’t be bothered to drive to mine here, I don’t really see why I should have to take the hit and drive while pregnant.

Oh boy - I think you should go and I also think this sort of chit-counting is going to lead to everyone being miserable.

Driving sucks but a bad relationship with in laws is worse, I think.

Anonymous wrote:So, op, we are to understand you are not going to drive anywhere on the highway for the next 3 months?

It’s ok if you just don’t feel, and just say so.

But you came to ask an opinion, got majority of opinions telling you that they would make this trip in these circumstances, and you’re arguing against them.

what was the point of asking?

OP here. It seems pretty evenly split between yes/no.

It's not that I find driving on a highway dangerous. I'm just feeling pretty uncomfortable already, I generally don't like to travel, and it seems like a lot of driving for a shower when I'm already having one (and, TBH, I don't even really want the first shower).

Also I can't really imagine a scenario where if the roles were reversed and my family was celebrating H, they would expect us to drive 5 hours to them for a party. Especially if he had a medical issue going on. And I know, pregnancy isn't really a medical issue, but it's still uncomfortable.

So, op, we are to understand you are not going to drive anywhere on the highway for the next 3 months?

It’s ok if you just don’t feel, and just say so.

But you came to ask an opinion, got majority of opinions telling you that they would make this trip in these circumstances, and you’re arguing against them.

what was the point of asking?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my own baby shower? Yes I would. Way to bury the lede.

Did I? I said in the very first sentence it’s for me. I didn’t write “your baby shower”in the title because I thought that would imply this was my main/only shower, when my main shower is being thrown here, this one is just extra.

Anyway I’m leaning towards no, if they can’t be bothered to drive to mine here, I don’t really see why I should have to take the hit and drive while pregnant.

Drive while pregnant?

You aren’t disabled.

Regardless of what your husband says, your attitude of shutting out his family will hurt him.

And, someday you will be a MIL.

DP. I have only sons and would never consider throwing a shower that is such an inconvenience for the purported beneficiary. How is this helpful or considerate?

If the purpose were actually to celebrate OP, the shower would be held at a time and place convenient for her. This shower is clearly for the convenience of the host. I despise highway driving under the best of circumstances and would certainly not drive 10 hours for this. That seems insane to me. If they want to celebrate there, they should plan a sip and see around a full visit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:H’s family wants to throw us a shower. I like his family a lot, and it’s really important to me for us to have a good relationship. But, the thought of driving 5+ hours when I’m 6-7 months pregnant does NOT sound fun to me. Plus, my best friend is already throwing us a shower, which they would of course be invited to, although I doubt they’ll want to drive that far just to come drive it again in a couple months when the baby is born.

WWYD? Suck it up and travel to their shower? Or ask them to come to us?

I wouldn't drive 30 minutes to a bridal or baby shower.

+1

Anonymous wrote:H’s family wants to throw us a shower. I like his family a lot, and it’s really important to me for us to have a good relationship. But, the thought of driving 5+ hours when I’m 6-7 months pregnant does NOT sound fun to me. Plus, my best friend is already throwing us a shower, which they would of course be invited to, although I doubt they’ll want to drive that far just to come drive it again in a couple months when the baby is born.

WWYD? Suck it up and travel to their shower? Or ask them to come to us?

I wouldn't drive 30 minutes to a bridal or baby shower.

I agree with everyone saying it’s fine and disagree with your words that a good relationship is important to you, as it clearly isn’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people would want a pregnant woman to be on the highway driving for 10 hours unnecessarily. Anything can happen and it is not worth the risk. I absolutely would say no.

Additionally, I would not drive 10 hours RT with a new born either in case they ask...

She’s 6 months pregnant. You make it sound like she’s having open heart surgery at the Delaware Rest Stop. It’s not that big of deal to drive from DC to NY when you’re pregnant. I did it with both pregnancies. My sister got married in NJ when I was 7 mo pregnant. Driving there was a non-event.

That is a dumb risk to take. Accidents happen and would not travel that far that pregnant for a baby shower.

We attended a shower held for us in CT where most of my husband's family lives. I was 7 months pregnant and it wasn't a big deal. Most of the family had the gifts shipped to our house in NoVA but gave us little things to open on the day. It was nice esp since my husband's grandmother was there who was in her late 80s at the time.

I will say that it was a pattern for them and they have been down here to visit only about 3-4 times in the 15 years we've been married. My BIL says they must have lost their "Connecticut Passports" that allow them to leave the state. Oh well, their loss b.c they aren't very close with my kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my own baby shower? Yes I would. Way to bury the lede.

Did I? I said in the very first sentence it’s for me. I didn’t write “your baby shower”in the title because I thought that would imply this was my main/only shower, when my main shower is being thrown here, this one is just extra.

Anyway I’m leaning towards no, if they can’t be bothered to drive to mine here, I don’t really see why I should have to take the hit and drive while pregnant.

Drive while pregnant?

You aren’t disabled.

Regardless of what your husband says, your attitude of shutting out his family will hurt him.

And, someday you will be a MIL.

Op - you've clearly made up your mind already and are stubbornly digging in your heels.

Don't know why you ever bother posting

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my own baby shower? Yes I would. Way to bury the lede.

Did I? I said in the very first sentence it’s for me. I didn’t write “your baby shower”in the title because I thought that would imply this was my main/only shower, when my main shower is being thrown here, this one is just extra.

Anyway I’m leaning towards no, if they can’t be bothered to drive to mine here, I don’t really see why I should have to take the hit and drive while pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people would want a pregnant woman to be on the highway driving for 10 hours unnecessarily. Anything can happen and it is not worth the risk. I absolutely would say no.

Additionally, I would not drive 10 hours RT with a new born either in case they ask...

She’s 6 months pregnant. You make it sound like she’s having open heart surgery at the Delaware Rest Stop. It’s not that big of deal to drive from DC to NY when you’re pregnant. I did it with both pregnancies. My sister got married in NJ when I was 7 mo pregnant. Driving there was a non-event.

Anonymous wrote:For my own baby shower? Yes I would. Way to bury the lede.

Did I? I said in the very first sentence it’s for me. I didn’t write “your baby shower”in the title because I thought that would imply this was my main/only shower, when my main shower is being thrown here, this one is just extra.

Anyway I’m leaning towards no, if they can’t be bothered to drive to mine here, I don’t really see why I should have to take the hit and drive while pregnant.