Congrats, OP. I lost about 14 pounds which I knew only b/c I found out from my OB/GYN. She had the weight recorded from my last annual exam in 2019. I missed during COVID 2020, and then heard the actual lbs loss since then. I didn't care about the exact amount as I could tell from the way my clothes fit, etc. So I would say like 152 to 138. I was recently going to an outdoor event, and a mom I hadn't seen in about 2 years as we were walking from our cars to the house remarked that I had lost "so much weight, like at least what, 15 or 16 pounds." I was bundled in a cardigan b/c of the cool weather, and it made me feel very scrutinized. Like I said we hadn't even seen each other in at least 2 years, so how did she even know what I weighed back then? I did not think that it was said as a compliment as she kept focusing on the numbers rather than a generic hey you look good. you've lost weight huh?

I lost 45 pounds (160 to 115) and my DH didn't seem to notice - he thought I had dropped 5 or 10 pounds and kept asking why I need to buy clothes (went from a 12 to a 2/4). I am used to him not being very observant. I think I hit 130 before he even noticed that I was trying to lose weight. Our DD came for a visit, complimented me, and he was like "oh yeah, you look a little slimmer." This is what I get for never noticing when he grows or shaves off a beard.

I would never notice this amount of weight loss in anyone. I'm just not that observant about bodies in general (especially of people I know well), and I definitely don't scrutinize the bodies of anyone in my life to this degree. Plus people's bodies can look really different without any weight change. My body looks totally different in a dress with tights than in a pair of jeans and a sweater. If you are mostly dressing the same and haven't bought new clothes, how could they tell?

If you want validation, maybe buy a new outfit that shows off the weight loss a bit more?

I do think it’s okay to comment if someone is looking more muscular, because that’s unlikely to happen unintentionally or as the result of an illness! (I lost like forty pounds one time because I spent months on nothing but Ensure, it wasn’t great.)

Anonymous wrote:I have dropped a pant size and I think I generally look less “puffy”…from 190 to 175…is this just not a significant enough drop for a person of my size? Mid-40s woman.

FWIW I am not changing for anyone but surprising myself I would appreciate that validation as encouragement to continue, you know?

Op, you look like you lost some weight. Maybe around 15lbs?? Am I right? Good job!

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that it takes 10 pounds for you to notice, 20 pounds for close friends/family, and 30 for others. That might have to be adjusted depending on your size. But it was helpful to me.

It all depends on how big you are to start. I lost 10 lbs, went from a size 6-8 to a size 2-4, 135 lbs to 125 lbs. TONS of comments. It honestly made me uncomfortable. But a lot has to do with people, namely women, feeling like it is fine to make "you're so thin" comments. BTW, I'm not too thin, still very much in a heathy weight range, just got my act together, went back to the gym, and toned up a lot.

my boss lost 35 pounds and I could tellhis face looked different, but he wore the same old baggy clothes so it didn't really register in my mind that he was thinner.

Maybe buy some outfits that fit you better.

Congratulations!!

I'll add that I would never comment on someone's weight loss either, so hang in there.

I had an identical loss to yours and only one friend commented, and she's a best friend I hadn't seen in about a year. To my colleagues and others that I saw regularly, I suspect it wasn't as noticeable. I did get a couple more compliments on my outfits, which were probably attributable to the weight loss.

I read somewhere that it takes 10 pounds for you to notice, 20 pounds for close friends/family, and 30 for others. That might have to be adjusted depending on your size. But it was helpful to me.

People exclaimed over how much weight a friend had lost at a party, and I was cringing because I alone knew that some extremely serious health issues had caused the weight loss. They were trying to be nice, but they were essentially saying coming close to death was a good look for her.

Polite people don’t comment on weight unless someone reveals that they have actively been trying to lose it. “You look great!” “I’m so happy to see you!” always fine and appropriate.

I would never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I knew they were doing it on purpose. Sometimes I’ll tell someone I haven’t seen in a long time that they look great but it’s usually a haircut/clothes/fitness gestalt thing, I don’t use that as a synonym for weight loss.

No one notices 15 lbs if you are still overweight. Sorry but it just is. Plus polite people don’t bring it up even if they do notice.

I only ever commented on a weight loss when a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in a year ran into me while shopping and I didn’t recognize her. It took me a minute to realize who it was. Awkward. Even so I didn’t directly mention the huge weight loss, just simply said she looks great and I haven’t seen in in forever and so on

I don't think most people notice until it's 20+ lbs, especially if you are not already pretty thin.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people consider it rude to comment on weight loss.

+1 I don’t comment on anyone’s body size/shape ever. I’ll compliment an outfit, a haircut, but never anything about weight.

Agreed! Weight loss is not always a good thing either, if its a health issue. It's better not to stick a foot in your mouth.

The only time I ever noticed someone else's weight loss was when a coworker lost a lot of weight -- so much that I didn't recognize him, and I ended up asking another coworker who the guy was. I recognized the name and said, "He looks a lot different," at which point the person I asked said, "Yeah, he's lost more than 100 pounds."