Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:29     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Think back to your 20 something self and ask if you would date a guy that age that lives with his parents. That's the age at which he should move out.



I distinctly remember, twenty-plus years ago, meeting a cute guy at a picnic, learning that he lived at home with his parents, and thinking... ummm... no. Hard pass.


That's such a stupid reason to give up on person. maybe he was saving money to buy his first home.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:28     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:I had to live with mine until I got married at 30. My sister is a PA and still lives with them at 32 so she can pay back her loans. DC is SO expensive, there was no way I could have made it without living with my parents, and I’m super grateful they let me.


Do you think your neighbors thought anything bad of you or your parents?
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 14:27     Subject: Re:What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:My son is also 24. He graduated from college in Dec 2019 and we suggested he live at home for a year and see where his social life was compared to his job. Plus, he could save some money. We said he could if he put $3k a month into a savings plan- over and above the 15% he is putting into his 401k. Covid hit and he is still living at home. He works here too as and not had much of a social life since Covid. We have set next June as a target date for moving out. He is still working from home, but I expect that to change in Jan. A bonus of Covid for him is that he has saved more than the $3k month. He just got a promotion and last Jan started a Masters through his employer - online first as a result of Covid. So, he should be set.

I am glad he did not have an apartment from the get go because he would be alone in it and working from home alone.




Do your neighbors know how old he is? The main reason I want him to move out is because I just don't know what our neighbors are thinking.... I am pretty sure they are asking himself why is Andy still living at home when he graduated college etc...
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 13:31     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
I was really excited to be independent so I moved out when I started college and never moved back in. I do have one acquaintance who lived with his parents until his mid-20s and was able to save up fora fairly large down payment on a home that he was able to purchase by himself.

I think it depends a lot on the family and on the kid. If you no longer want your son living with you, I would sit down and have a family discussion about what his goals are and where he sees himself in the next year or so.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 13:22     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
I would never date a guy who lived with his parents. I’d assume they’d make a terrible husband- can’t clean, can’t cook, can’t maintain an apartment on their own, and are too attached to their parents. I just don’t think it’s healthy.

I think that as soon as they graduate college they should move on
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 13:19     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
When I graduated from college, it didn’t occur to me to live in my childhood home. BTW, I liked my parents and the family got along. Today, kids are willing to remain in the home because they often have their own room, bathroom, meals and WiFi ( the good life).
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 13:15     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
My brother lived at home until he was 27. He had a college degree and a job in that field- I think some of it was a money thing (he was teaching at a small Catholic school that didn't pay great) but also it just worked for him and my parents. They enjoyed having him at home, our little sister (11 years younger) liked having big bro there, it didn't impede his dating life (he was dating someone he met in college and he moved out when they got engaged), he liked being at home. *shrug* I think as long as all parties are ok with it, it really doesn't matter.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 13:11     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:Hats how you never move for a job or career or person ever.

And btw, you can earn way more equity in the stock, crypto or direct lending market than buying a depreciating asset with flat mined value and 10% buy/sell fees round trip.

Build equity Bs. Maybe if you don’t move for 30 years and timed it OK. That’s just your money locked up that you put in it doing nothing but at the whims of whatever you sell it at later.


No, I would never move for a person ever. My job was in a major metropolitan area with a high concentration of places where I could potentially be employed, so, no, I wasn't planning on moving too far.

Your gains in stock market are taxed at 20% or so when you cash out. Your mortgage payments for the first few years are almost 100% tax deductible, plus you have to live somewhere anyway, so if you are paying for your housing, why not pay yourself and then cash out with gains tax free when you are ready to move up the real estate ladder.

Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 13:01     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I view my 40 year old cousin who never left his parent's house different than my 35 year old brother that's still living at home.

My cousin has a Ph.D., a career and money. My brother is just a loser just sucking my parents dry.

So, it all depends.


Both situations are odd. And examples of enabling and codependency.


40 yos at home? Sounds like a mental disorder.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 12:59     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Hats how you never move for a job or career or person ever.

And btw, you can earn way more equity in the stock, crypto or direct lending market than buying a depreciating asset with flat mined value and 10% buy/sell fees round trip.

Build equity Bs. Maybe if you don’t move for 30 years and timed it OK. That’s just your money locked up that you put in it doing nothing but at the whims of whatever you sell it at later.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 12:51     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We live in a very expensive area. I agree there is no set time as long as your son is working, going to school, or otherwise making forward progress in his life.

A friend of mine lived with her parents until 25 or so. I thought it was crazy at the time, but then she bought her first house, while I was still renting a shit place and wasting money on other things.


You were ahead in other, perhaps more important, ways. Trust me on this one.


Nope. There is zero difference between those who moved out at 22 vs 25, behaviorally speaking. Financially, however, there is a difference between someone who bought their first real estate in mid-20s vs someone who waited until 30+.

In my family, kids moved out when they had enough money for a downpayment, which was 24 for me and 27 for my brother (he went to grad school).


Why own a home when you are 24?


Because that's how you build equity while getting a favorable tax treatment. If you have a decent job, why not do it?
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 12:33     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:I view my 40 year old cousin who never left his parent's house different than my 35 year old brother that's still living at home.

My cousin has a Ph.D., a career and money. My brother is just a loser just sucking my parents dry.

So, it all depends.


So if your PhD cousin has a career and money, why is he still living with mommy and daddy at ..... 40? Sorry, but something is wrong there too.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 12:28     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
Anonymous wrote:I know it's longer in some cultures, but I say by 22-23. Whenever college is done. I'd be fine with my child staying with us for a year to save money after school is done, but then, you need to leave the nest.

I moved out as soon as possible (18) and spent my summers on campus as well, working, taking summer classes or doing internships. I never spent more than a month or two living at home after graduating college.


I agree. I wouldn't be thrilled if one of our kids wants to move back home after college. I think I'd be okay with them stay a few months while they sort out their adult life. We plan to give our kids a car at the right time and pay for 100% of the cost of college, but at graduation, it's time to be an adult. Neither DH nor I moved back home for any period of time after college.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 12:26     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
There's no specific age. It's like nursing - as long as both parties are fine with it, it's fine. In some cultures, 3 or 4 generations live in the same house permanently. Or adult children live with their parents until they get married.

If you want your son out, tell him "It's time for you to move out. Let's say you need to get your own place by the new year. Do you need help writing out a budget?" Give a kid 2-6 months.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2021 12:22     Subject: What age should a adult child move out?
I know it's longer in some cultures, but I say by 22-23. Whenever college is done. I'd be fine with my child staying with us for a year to save money after school is done, but then, you need to leave the nest.

I moved out as soon as possible (18) and spent my summers on campus as well, working, taking summer classes or doing internships. I never spent more than a month or two living at home after graduating college.