With a tight group of neighborhood tween girls doing sleepovers pre covid, we collected phones. We actually had the group talk about it and decide together the limits, and the kids seemed relieved. They said stuff like "it's not fun to hang out when everyone's on their own devices." But no one wanted to be the first one to speak out. The phones were all in the kitchen, so they could get them if they wanted to be in touch with their families. We also have a landline for emergencies. They slept at our house the most of the group.

I think playing video games together is a very common tween boy activity. It was true in the 90s when I was a teen, and it’s true today for my middle schooler and his friends. I don’t see any problem in letting them do that. I make them go outside for a snack, and they end up running around and goofing off outside, so it’s a nice mix.

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Anonymous wrote:I can't control what my kids do at their friends' houses. If I talk to the parents I do mention I don't allow the kids to play on screens in our house. That way if they want to enforce that rule at their house they won't worry about my kid saying "But I'm allowed at home!"

We keep a basket by the front door/kitchen where everyone drops their phone when they walk in. If the kids want to use their phone, they go stand there and use it. But they don't take it into my kids' bedroom or anything.

Don’t know how old your kid is but eventually you will notice that none of his/her friends come to your house anymore.

Bring that two have already graduated from hs I can assure you that you are wrong. It was never a problem.

Do you also have a current 12 year old because if not I don’t care what you did 10 years ago. That’s not relevant.

Yep . 12, 15, and 15.

So you have 5 kids. It's pretty safe to say you have no idea what your kids or anyone else's are actually doing.

I have three kids at home- pretty easy to keep track of.

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Anonymous wrote:I can't control what my kids do at their friends' houses. If I talk to the parents I do mention I don't allow the kids to play on screens in our house. That way if they want to enforce that rule at their house they won't worry about my kid saying "But I'm allowed at home!"

We keep a basket by the front door/kitchen where everyone drops their phone when they walk in. If the kids want to use their phone, they go stand there and use it. But they don't take it into my kids' bedroom or anything.

Don’t know how old your kid is but eventually you will notice that none of his/her friends come to your house anymore.

Bring that two have already graduated from hs I can assure you that you are wrong. It was never a problem.

Do you also have a current 12 year old because if not I don’t care what you did 10 years ago. That’s not relevant.

Yep . 12, 15, and 15.

So you have 5 kids. It's pretty safe to say you have no idea what your kids or anyone else's are actually doing.

NP, I don't know if you're the same person who is being overly snarky in not just this post but so many others, but it's possible to say what you think is the right thing to do or wrong thing to do without claiming to know more than the PP about what happens in HER family. Get over yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids vaccinated or are you all just allowing these play dates and sleepovers? No judgment… just wondering because my kids are 11 and 9 and most parents don’t seem to be doing this.

I’m 21:30. My 13 yo and all his friends are vaccinated. I have an 11 yo who is not. Some of my younger kid’s friends come over and some prefer to stay outdoors. Those friends are more mixed with their comfort level indoors right now. And we don’t have screen time rules for them either. Many have phones or iPads and bring them over.

The shoe poster is crazy. My kids wouldn’t go there because they would think there is something wrong with the parents, trying to collect devices at the door.

DS is 13 and when friends are over they tend to come and go as long as it’s not night and a sleepover. But for daytime hours, they may be in for a while playing video games, out riding bikes, in for more games or YouTube, out to go fishing, etc. It’s been like this for a couple of years. No. I don’t limit screens when friends are over.

If they are sleeping over, I have hard, set rules about not doing things that are inappropriate with the devices. That means anything from watching porn to prank calling people in the night and everything in between.

Everyone he knew had a cell by 6th grade. Parents are not making plans anymore. The kids make them and we verify if needed.

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Anonymous wrote:I can't control what my kids do at their friends' houses. If I talk to the parents I do mention I don't allow the kids to play on screens in our house. That way if they want to enforce that rule at their house they won't worry about my kid saying "But I'm allowed at home!"

We keep a basket by the front door/kitchen where everyone drops their phone when they walk in. If the kids want to use their phone, they go stand there and use it. But they don't take it into my kids' bedroom or anything.

I love the basket concept! Reminds me of the take off your shoes when I was a kid. Will have to keep this one in mind.

Keep it in mind if your goal is for your teen boy to have no friends over. I’m fairly strict with screens in general but I’ll let it go when my sons have friend over. They all have a blast, cheering each other on and figuring out plans for the game together. Why not just let your kids have some fun and make your home the place their friends actually want to be? What’s the real benefit of denying them some hours of fun together? My friends and I all played Atari together and had a blast. I came down the other day and found my son and his friends playing monopoly. They’re great kids, why make this harder than it has to be?

+1. I wouldn’t come to the collect-my-cellphone house. And how’s that teaching independence and building trust? Moreover, as the parent, I don’t want the liability of holding someone else’s cell phone. No way.

+1 I agree I would not feel comfortable going to my friend’s house where their mom confiscated my cell at the front door.


Yeah my kid doesn’t give her phone to other people. Sorry lady. That’s her personal property. It’s her 2021 security blanket to text me if she needs too. I know you think you are so cool or whatever but you’re not. My child has autonomy

If your kid needs to text you she can walk over to the basket, pull out her phone, and text you. It’s the same as my insisting shoes are taken off when they come in and stay near the front door.

Oh you're the shoe troll.