Anonymous
10/20/2021 13:00
Subject: Re:kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Here’s where I am on this: I truly don’t know if he’s being defiant or if this is involuntary behavior. I lean toward disciplining him but I fear if it DOES up end being a cognitive impairment and he cannot control this, I would feel horrible to make him feel shame for something he cannot help or fix by himself. At this rate we would not be able to evaluate him for months because of the waitlists. I just don’t know how to approach it/what to say to him (be kind/understanding or firm/disciplinary) in the meantime.
-OP
You've said he's sensitive. Is he typically defiant? Do you recognize that for someone to be capable of doing this ALL day long in school, there is probably something else going on with him? Even if he is "choosing" to do this as a manner of self soothing, what is making him feel so "off" that he needs that level of soothing?
The people saying to discipline strike me as very old-school, and not in a good way.
Even if there's a waitlist for a private neuropsych (which is typical even in non covid times), how about meeting with the school counselor? Or a private counselor? Talking to your ped?
We are already on several waitlists. We are not taking this lightly, nor do I believe the teachers/other students should have to put up with his behavior. My dilemma is how to approach it with him in the immediate term (between now and when we get a diagnosis) since I do not know if he truly cannot help his behavior. Like I literally don't know what words to use with him (disappointed? understanding? inquisitive?). I of course want to be compassionate toward my child and not make him feel bad for who he is, but I also don't want to be blind to this possibly being immature/behavioral (and changeable) antics if I would only know the right things to say to him or "discipline" to get him to realize he has to change this now. I dread him being expelled and what that would do to his psyche. I am feeling desperate to not allow anything like that happen in the new few months before we can get a diagnosis (or not) to know how to proceed.
-OP
Anonymous
10/20/2021 11:53
Subject: Re:kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Here’s where I am on this: I truly don’t know if he’s being defiant or if this is involuntary behavior. I lean toward disciplining him but I fear if it DOES up end being a cognitive impairment and he cannot control this, I would feel horrible to make him feel shame for something he cannot help or fix by himself. At this rate we would not be able to evaluate him for months because of the waitlists. I just don’t know how to approach it/what to say to him (be kind/understanding or firm/disciplinary) in the meantime.
-OP
You've said he's sensitive. Is he typically defiant? Do you recognize that for someone to be capable of doing this ALL day long in school, there is probably something else going on with him? Even if he is "choosing" to do this as a manner of self soothing, what is making him feel so "off" that he needs that level of soothing?
The people saying to discipline strike me as very old-school, and not in a good way.
Even if there's a waitlist for a private neuropsych (which is typical even in non covid times), how about meeting with the school counselor? Or a private counselor? Talking to your ped?
Anonymous
10/20/2021 08:11
Subject: Re:kid makes noise constantly in class
has anyone tried magnesium for these fidgety kids? it's supposed to be calming.
Anonymous
10/20/2021 06:58
Subject: Re:kid makes noise constantly in class
Here’s where I am on this: I truly don’t know if he’s being defiant or if this is involuntary behavior. I lean toward disciplining him but I fear if it DOES up end being a cognitive impairment and he cannot control this, I would feel horrible to make him feel shame for something he cannot help or fix by himself. At this rate we would not be able to evaluate him for months because of the waitlists. I just don’t know how to approach it/what to say to him (be kind/understanding or firm/disciplinary) in the meantime.
-OP
-OP
Anonymous
10/20/2021 00:55
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
Perhaps he enjoys his field trips out of the classroom to walk the halls. Based on your son’s attitude, it seems like an issue of defiance/discipline rather than someone who can’t control their impulses despite really wanting to.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 22:44
Subject: Re:kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think it’s silly it’s “So distracting” he has to leave. So what he makes noises.
If he's distracting other kids from their work or paying attention to the teacher, then it's a problem.
Those kids need to learn to ignore distractions.
Op needs to ignore you.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 22:01
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are the mouth noises a tic? I had a child who has pronounced tics at that age that he eventually grew out of. Throat clearing, mouth clicks, etc. He wasn't doing it to be a jerk. Your son may not be as in control as he thinks he is and is just using the obstinance as a cover.
I doubt it's a tic. He would do it even more when he gets home.
I'd tell your child if he keeps making noise, he is going to be sent back to kindergarten. Ask VP if they can try this as a deterrent. Just put him in time out in kindergarten class. Or, take away privileges at home. Ask teacher to message you after school with report of whether he made noise or not.
Fidgeting isn't abnormal for a pandemic 1st grader. I'd let that go.
No teacher or admin will ever threaten to send a kid back to kindergarten, much less actually make them go to a K class to see if it works.
I bet you are the kind of parent who tells your kid you will leave without them if they don't hurry up and then you drive away just so they'll know you meant it.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 19:02
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:we are only 2 months into the school year and we are already being notified by our 1st grader's teacher that he "makes noise constantly" (drums on the desk, makes popping sound with his mouth) to the point of he has to be taken out of class and walked up and down the hallways by an IA. he's on the older side and we figured he may be bored this year, and it's a long day expected to sit back in person, but this seems way beyond boredom. we've asked him why he makes noise and he says "because I like to" and when we explain it distracts other kids and the teacher can't focus on teaching, he acts like he could not care less. i'm so confused by his lack of empathy because he's a very sensitive child and typically a pleaser.
I don't know what to do other than to send a fidget toy in with him or something in hopes he stops making loud noises. my words don't seem to be getting through to him or he doesn't care about being a problem to the entire class.
has anyone else dealt with this or have any advice? thanks.
I will be flamed, but here is my take. This is the school’s problem. He doesn’t do it at home; you have echoed their message; you have tried to investigate as well. A good teacher would be able to have him comply without making it a power struggle. It becomes a power struggle because she is not superb at classroom management. OP can’t fix that.
This attitude multiplied on a society-wide scale is the reason why no amount of money thrown at education will change test scores. Parents that refuse to teach their children self-control create disruptive students that have no respect for their teachers or their peers’ time.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 15:24
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:OP, my son with ADHD was diagnosed in first grade through a comprehensive neuropsych. He was also a drummer, fidgeter, chewer and sound-maker, and still is when his medication wears off. Maturity will help some, but I would talk with an expert about it.
FWIW, it takes a huge amount of self control for a first grader to sit most of the day--more than is developmentally appropriate in a lot of cases. Nonetheless, disruptive sounds are tough for other kids in the class who are trying to maintain their own focus, so it is a real thing. What's more, you don't want to find that other kids start teasing or treating him poorly because they find him annoying. For my kid, constantly being corrected by the teacher or other kids really took a toll on his self esteem, which was why we opted to intervene.
Finally, I would ask the teacher if she would let him chew gum in class. Both my ADHD kids need that, and it really helps them regulate themselves. Usually teachers will make this accommodation even without a formal diagnosis.
Finally, my kid is a really successful, all A student in middle school, where he is thriving. I do not regret for a minute intervening when I did before he developed a bad self concept around school and interactions with teachers.
My DS also used to end up playing with school supplies, making noise and just getting into things. He was diagnosed with ADHD and meds do help. These behaviors bemore obvious when meds wear off. Sometimes i don't think he even realizes what he is doing... I think the large classrooms with minimal movement time are really tough.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 15:16
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Do you have the sense that he can't stop, or that he doesn't want to stop?
If he can't stop, as in he feels the urge well up until he just can't help but make noise, I'd recommend speaking to a specialist.
If he just won't stop, then a fidget toy will help.
yes, I tried to get into that but didn't get a clear response. he said "I want to do what I want to do. If I stop, they get what they want but I don't get what I want." they being the other kids/teacher. so that seems more like a power thing to me? we are considering an evaluation regardless.
-OP
That is a very clear response. He’s being willfully disobedient. And so you need to discipline him for it until he stops doing it.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 15:13
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
The clear answer here is to call your pediatrician and have your child assessed.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 14:56
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:OP, my son with ADHD was diagnosed in first grade through a comprehensive neuropsych. He was also a drummer, fidgeter, chewer and sound-maker, and still is when his medication wears off. Maturity will help some, but I would talk with an expert about it.
FWIW, it takes a huge amount of self control for a first grader to sit most of the day--more than is developmentally appropriate in a lot of cases. Nonetheless, disruptive sounds are tough for other kids in the class who are trying to maintain their own focus, so it is a real thing. What's more, you don't want to find that other kids start teasing or treating him poorly because they find him annoying. For my kid, constantly being corrected by the teacher or other kids really took a toll on his self esteem, which was why we opted to intervene.
Finally, I would ask the teacher if she would let him chew gum in class. Both my ADHD kids need that, and it really helps them regulate themselves. Usually teachers will make this accommodation even without a formal diagnosis.
Finally, my kid is a really successful, all A student in middle school, where he is thriving. I do not regret for a minute intervening when I did before he developed a bad self concept around school and interactions with teachers.
+1 and shame on the PPs who would threaten to send kid back to K or would discipline what is clearly a sensory seeking involuntary behavior in a small child who is expected to sit still all day.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 14:36
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
This is a common thing. Sometimes it's one kid, sometimes it's 2 or 3, sometimes it seems like it's half the class. Humming, tapping, throat clearing, singing, kicking the desk. I think the best way to handle it is for the teacher to ask/tell the kid/s to stop. As many times as is necessary. The kids need to learn how to control it. Most of them can.
It may be that normal strategies haven't worked with your kid OP. They could move the kid away from the rest of the class to do their work during quiet times but that is a bit of an extreme and anxiety producing thing to do that might make the situation worse in various ways. A short walk with an aide sounds ok but actually doesn't seem like it would help other than to make the class quieter while they are gone. Many kids would love to go for a walk periodically and might therefore increase the behavior.
Not sure there is anything you can do about this at home. Hopefully he will grow out of it. Sometimes a bit of social discomfort helps, once the kid really realizes the other kids are annoyed.
It may be that normal strategies haven't worked with your kid OP. They could move the kid away from the rest of the class to do their work during quiet times but that is a bit of an extreme and anxiety producing thing to do that might make the situation worse in various ways. A short walk with an aide sounds ok but actually doesn't seem like it would help other than to make the class quieter while they are gone. Many kids would love to go for a walk periodically and might therefore increase the behavior.
Not sure there is anything you can do about this at home. Hopefully he will grow out of it. Sometimes a bit of social discomfort helps, once the kid really realizes the other kids are annoyed.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 14:23
Subject: Re:kid makes noise constantly in class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think it’s silly it’s “So distracting” he has to leave. So what he makes noises.
If he's distracting other kids from their work or paying attention to the teacher, then it's a problem.
Those kids need to learn to ignore distractions.
Why do ypu live or work? Perhaps I can do annoying things to you so you can learn to ignore distractions.
Anonymous
10/19/2021 14:14
Subject: kid makes noise constantly in class
OP, my son with ADHD was diagnosed in first grade through a comprehensive neuropsych. He was also a drummer, fidgeter, chewer and sound-maker, and still is when his medication wears off. Maturity will help some, but I would talk with an expert about it.
FWIW, it takes a huge amount of self control for a first grader to sit most of the day--more than is developmentally appropriate in a lot of cases. Nonetheless, disruptive sounds are tough for other kids in the class who are trying to maintain their own focus, so it is a real thing. What's more, you don't want to find that other kids start teasing or treating him poorly because they find him annoying. For my kid, constantly being corrected by the teacher or other kids really took a toll on his self esteem, which was why we opted to intervene.
Finally, I would ask the teacher if she would let him chew gum in class. Both my ADHD kids need that, and it really helps them regulate themselves. Usually teachers will make this accommodation even without a formal diagnosis.
Finally, my kid is a really successful, all A student in middle school, where he is thriving. I do not regret for a minute intervening when I did before he developed a bad self concept around school and interactions with teachers.
FWIW, it takes a huge amount of self control for a first grader to sit most of the day--more than is developmentally appropriate in a lot of cases. Nonetheless, disruptive sounds are tough for other kids in the class who are trying to maintain their own focus, so it is a real thing. What's more, you don't want to find that other kids start teasing or treating him poorly because they find him annoying. For my kid, constantly being corrected by the teacher or other kids really took a toll on his self esteem, which was why we opted to intervene.
Finally, I would ask the teacher if she would let him chew gum in class. Both my ADHD kids need that, and it really helps them regulate themselves. Usually teachers will make this accommodation even without a formal diagnosis.
Finally, my kid is a really successful, all A student in middle school, where he is thriving. I do not regret for a minute intervening when I did before he developed a bad self concept around school and interactions with teachers.