Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:38     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:Someone somewhere was having a medical emergency.

His wife got called into work on short notice.

Kids need care & that is hard to arrange on short notice, especially in a pandemic.

He stepped up.

You are pissed.



Yes he’s the one dodging the bullet here
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:31     Subject: Guy canceled date
Someone somewhere was having a medical emergency.

His wife got called into work on short notice.

Kids need care & that is hard to arrange on short notice, especially in a pandemic.

He stepped up.

You are pissed.

Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:31     Subject: Re:Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Damn this guy for prioritizing his kids over a woman he's been on 2 dates with! OP should move on!


Ha. This.

My kids will always come before someone I’ve been on 2 dates with. If OP can’t handle that kids will come first, she needs to move on.

Tho this guy sounds like a dream compared to all the loser fathers I know who will happily bail on their children for a piece of ass.



He wasn't prioritizing his kids. He was prioritizing his ex-wife.. The ex-wife could have said she couldn't take the shift or have a backup sitter if she wants to work call-in shifts.


Nowhere did OP state the ex had options. She said it was an emergency. Maybe her job and the livelihood and the livelihood of their children depend on her being available during emergencies. It could be a lot of things. You have not idea what you’re talking about. It’s 2 dates. Who cares? To start hemming and hawing about priorities after 2 dates is indeed batshit. OP admitted she didn’t want to seem batshit bc she IS batshit.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:27     Subject: Re:Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Damn this guy for prioritizing his kids over a woman he's been on 2 dates with! OP should move on!


Ha. This.

My kids will always come before someone I’ve been on 2 dates with. If OP can’t handle that kids will come first, she needs to move on.

Tho this guy sounds like a dream compared to all the loser fathers I know who will happily bail on their children for a piece of ass.



He wasn't prioritizing his kids. He was prioritizing his ex-wife.. The ex-wife could have said she couldn't take the shift or have a backup sitter if she wants to work call-in shifts.


NP I disagree. We are in a pandemic still and his wife is a nurse? Perhaps it was a all hands on deck situation? I do agree if op doesn't like that he canceled because of the ex-wife or the kids she should find someone without other obligations.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:22     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’ve dated a number of divorced dads and am in a relationship with one now. I prefer to date men who have very clear cut custody schedules. When each parent has the kid, if they need someone else to take care of the kids, it’s on the parents who has custody to find someone. It’s not the other parents job to fill in. I would not be cool with this happening frequently.

I’d keep dating other people.


Yeah that’s not real life. You’ll remain single with that attitude.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:14     Subject: Re:Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Damn this guy for prioritizing his kids over a woman he's been on 2 dates with! OP should move on!


Ha. This.

My kids will always come before someone I’ve been on 2 dates with. If OP can’t handle that kids will come first, she needs to move on.

Tho this guy sounds like a dream compared to all the loser fathers I know who will happily bail on their children for a piece of ass.


+1 exactly


-1 It's not about the kids in this scenario. He's still messing with his ex. OP I would ignore future texts from this guy.


That is ridiculous. I would do this if necessary. My ex and I did not have sex for the last eight years of our marriage. This is about the kids…you can accommodate your ex with flexible coparenting. I would prefer my kids not to have a babysitter if I can get more time in this scenario.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:07     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’ve dated a number of divorced dads and am in a relationship with one now. I prefer to date men who have very clear cut custody schedules. When each parent has the kid, if they need someone else to take care of the kids, it’s on the parents who has custody to find someone. It’s not the other parents job to fill in. I would not be cool with this happening frequently.

I’d keep dating other people.


My ex and I have a very firm custody schedule but we also have rights of first refusal.


It seems like there are a lot of people who have idea how this works on this thread. And it’s crazy to me that people think this man should tell his ex to find a last minute sitter or not take a shift so he can go out with a woman he just met. GTFOH.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 08:02     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’ve dated a number of divorced dads and am in a relationship with one now. I prefer to date men who have very clear cut custody schedules. When each parent has the kid, if they need someone else to take care of the kids, it’s on the parents who has custody to find someone. It’s not the other parents job to fill in. I would not be cool with this happening frequently.

I’d keep dating other people.


He likely has a decent relationship with his ex and loves his kids. What’s wrong with at? Yes, it makes dating complex but it’s a healthy sign. If it happens all the time then I’d be concerned.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 07:53     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’ve dated a number of divorced dads and am in a relationship with one now. I prefer to date men who have very clear cut custody schedules. When each parent has the kid, if they need someone else to take care of the kids, it’s on the parents who has custody to find someone. It’s not the other parents job to fill in. I would not be cool with this happening frequently.

I’d keep dating other people.


My ex and I have a very firm custody schedule but we also have rights of first refusal.


Makes perfect sense.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 06:07     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’ve dated a number of divorced dads and am in a relationship with one now. I prefer to date men who have very clear cut custody schedules. When each parent has the kid, if they need someone else to take care of the kids, it’s on the parents who has custody to find someone. It’s not the other parents job to fill in. I would not be cool with this happening frequently.

I’d keep dating other people.


My ex and I have a very firm custody schedule but we also have rights of first refusal.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 05:55     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think people are being too hard on the guy. It is hard to get back up sitters in Covid. This can happen for people with kids. It can also happen if you date a surgeon without kids. Grow up.


His ex had custody. He had plans on a Saturday night with OP. His ex wanting to take a work shift does not mean that he had to cancel his date with a P. He could’ve told his ass he had plans and then she could’ve decided to either get a babysitter or turn down the work shift. Potentially shows they have a dynamic where he bailed her out and they have a lot of murkiness and annoying things happening with the custody schedule, which may not be good from a dating perspective. He prioritized his access work schedule over Op. If he did that a lot, that would be a very annoying characteristic in a boyfriend. Opie is not yet his girlfriend, but if she were to become his girlfriend, she would deserve some level of prioritization of his life. And if he were to continue to prioritize his ex wanting to take last minute shifts and canceling on his girlfriend as result, that’s not a great situation.


This.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 05:40     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird he sent OP a nagging text to be ready on time when this is only their third date.


+1 That struck me as odd, too. He texted you an hour before to remind you to get ready, so you wouldn’t be late? How did he word it? That would give me pause to begin with. And then the fact that he didn’t call to apologize, and the language he used about being disappointed about missing the movie. None of it bodes well. But they’ve only been on two dates, so it would be equally odd for OP to rip him a new a-hole - better to just deal with the disappointment, write him off an move on.

Honestly, the guy doesn’t seem to express himself very well anyway.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 02:26     Subject: Guy canceled date
I think it's weird he sent OP a nagging text to be ready on time when this is only their third date.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 00:55     Subject: Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’ve dated a number of divorced dads and am in a relationship with one now. I prefer to date men who have very clear cut custody schedules. When each parent has the kid, if they need someone else to take care of the kids, it’s on the parents who has custody to find someone. It’s not the other parents job to fill in. I would not be cool with this happening frequently.

I’d keep dating other people.


Same here. And I’m single with two kids.



Exactly.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 00:54     Subject: Re:Guy canceled date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Damn this guy for prioritizing his kids over a woman he's been on 2 dates with! OP should move on!


Ha. This.

My kids will always come before someone I’ve been on 2 dates with. If OP can’t handle that kids will come first, she needs to move on.

Tho this guy sounds like a dream compared to all the loser fathers I know who will happily bail on their children for a piece of ass.


+1 exactly


-1 It's not about the kids in this scenario. He's still messing with his ex. OP I would ignore future texts from this guy.