Anonymous wrote:You are not overreacting. So he put in a contract without you on it? Why wouldn't he want to make the offer stronger by including your income on the offer? It's very weird.

OP here. He makes more than enough money to pay for the house himself. He makes about 3x what I make in a year.

OP what really irritates me about this post (and yes it’s weird that I’m getting irritated in your behalf but I actually am) is that your husband thinks toure overreacting.

It was a bad decision in the first place. Nobody should do something like this. But if somebody does make that bad judgment call, it’s okay, we all make bad judgment calls sometimes. What you sounding do when you make a mistake is tell somebody else they are overreacting! It’s looking like saving money was more kmpwkranr to him than showing you enough respect to involve you in the decision and that is a big problem so how he can not just say “yeah I should have realized you would want to see the house before buying it.” So simple. And then after that is addressed you can all take a breather and check out the house.

But it’s hard to move forward emotionally when somebody is actively showing a lack of consideration like that.

Anonymous wrote:Wait, he put an offer in, right? Not full out purchased a house?

OP here. He’s not an idiot. He put in an offer that was accepted but we can back out of something comes up in inspection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He did put an offer in because they were going to list the house that day. The sellers are friends of our realtor cousin or something.

You mean the friends of the realtors cousins couldn’t wait until your DH texted his wife to see if she wanted to put an offer on the house and in the time to do so of would have been listed, shown, AND under contract?

And I still side eye the realtor even though it is his friend because the realtor is supposed to work for the both of you, not just your DH. Also, how did your DH put in an offer without your signature? Is it going to be in his name only or is he paying for it all on his own?

OP here. He put the house in his name and will add my name later because he had to “ move so fast”. Both of our names will be on the house.

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like the house? Does your husband usually make smart decisions and you feel like you can trust him? I wouldn’t get upset if I trusted that he would make the right decision. My house put an offer in on a condo we were considering while I was pregnant and I trusted his judgement. Very happy with the condo and him for securing a place that likely would have gone to to another buyer had he not loved fast enough. Your husband probably saved you guys money by not having to get into a bidding war.

OP here. The house is very nice but bigger than I would want to live in. There are some cosmetic changes I would do but the layout and yard is what we have been looking for. We are a family over 4 and don’t need at 5bd 5.5ba 5200sqft. house. I don’t want to live in a house that is so big.

Follow up… FWIW, don’t think you are overreacting enough.

Well, you need to make the call. The contract probably has financing, and / or inspection contingencies — so you can easily get out of it.

How mad are you? Did you even get to see the house?

What’s it going to be?

BTW, the “ friend “ realtor, was not much of a friend to you.

Anonymous wrote:Yet Jim Halpert did it and it was the most perfect and romantic mood ever…

Maybe you should adopt a better attitude. Guys trying to make some moves to make your life as perfect and happy as he can. If he missed on this one, OK. Not sure why all the hostility.

DH has entered the chat

You are not overreacting. So he put in a contract without you on it? Why wouldn't he want to make the offer stronger by including your income on the offer? It's very weird.

HE probably thought this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to do something wonderful for you. He didn't tell you because he wanted to be sure the offer was accepted first. He thought you would love the house and didn't want you to be disappointed if it didn't work out. Should he have done it without consulting you? of course not. But at this point I think it's better to focus on his good intentions, and give the house a chance. There's a good chance that he's right and this is a great house for your family.

Anonymous wrote:There are two issues— the relationship issue and the real estate issue. I wouldn’t lose sight of the relationship issue but I would keep it separate if you can from the RE issue.

That is don’t reject the house just because he bought it without checking with you.

I think you are right. I cannot imagine doing this or having this done to me. But if you like the house and it works for your family, that’s a separate matter.

Wait, he put an offer in, right? Not full out purchased a house?

Anonymous wrote:

He did put an offer in because they were going to list the house that day. The sellers are friends of our realtor cousin or something.

You mean the friends of the realtors cousins couldn’t wait until your DH texted his wife to see if she wanted to put an offer on the house and in the time to do so of would have been listed, shown, AND under contract?

And I still side eye the realtor even though it is his friend because the realtor is supposed to work for the both of you, not just your DH. Also, how did your DH put in an offer without your signature? Is it going to be in his name only or is he paying for it all on his own?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't a friend and I'd tell your husband to pull the bid until you can see the house.

OP here. It’s not on him. He’s my husbands friend shut the blame is NOT on him. The blame is on my husband. I did tell him I need to see the house first in person ( saw it in a video he took) and I will decide then. I’m more hurt that he didn’t even think he needed to tell me. He said it moved so quickly and that he knows me well enough to know the house I want and he was afraid to pass it up. I told him he could have called me on his way over or after he saw it to let me know.

My husband is a wonderful spouse and partner. Puts myself and the kids above all else and does everything he can to give us a good life. He usually never makes such a decision without letting me know. He never even make a big purchase without checking with me first. I’m just very upset.

So maybe stop being a drama queen and see the house. Also make sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Being angry that your spouse BOUGHT A HOUSE without telling you is being a drama queen? Good grief. That’s nuts. Even amazing people screw up sometimes.

+1. This is crazy. I love DH but I’d be furious

If my husband did that I’d be WTF but then I’d remember that he is very smart and thoughtful about our needs and that if it was in an area that we had agreed on (schools etc) I’d calm down and hope for the best. Is there an option to get out if it’s really wrong? But I know the odds of it being really wrong are low because he’s not an idiot.