Anonymous wrote:Leave for work before anyone else gets up. He'll quickly figure it out.

This. “Sharing” tasks is hard. Just arrange your work schedule that you go in early MWF and he’s I charge those days (or some some other schedule). It’s not *that* hard to do the morning routine. It’s harder when two parents are invoked and one wants to slack.

Anonymous wrote:Male here. Taking care of a child is not rocket science that men cannot master. They have been building rockets, bridges, performing surgeries, etc. But when it comes to taking care of a child the expectation seems to be that men need checklists, defining responsibilities and what not.

I would suggest just leave it up to your DH. Day 1 may be a disaster, Day 2 would be better and by Day 5 it would be just fine.

Just like moms when the kids hit different milestones like first day of preschool, first day of kindergarten, first time participating in a group sport, etc.

As PPs have said, you need to sit down with your husband and figure out a clear division of responsibilities that is workable and fair. Then, you need to butt out and let him figure out how to get his done, even it involves failing at first. If you step in the minute he starts slacking/screwing up or if you nag him, it will all wind up back on you.

He’s ruining his marriage, ugh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recommend getting backpacks in order, packing lunches and laying out clothes the night before.

How old is your oldest? If he or she is 8, he or she is old enough to get dressed and to help supervise younger siblings doing the same (the 8 yo can supervise the younger sibs' teeth brushing, dressing, hair brushing, and help with breakfast). And if your kid's hair is long, please get a detangling paddle for him or to use. This will give you time to get yourself ready for work.

Why should the 8 year old have to pick up Dad's slack?

Why should the mom prep everything? If Dad is not a morning person, he can prep the night before.

They are useless. Assign all tasks you don’t want to do like trash and all manual labor and do the hard parts. They are apes.

Your DH sounds gross, and lazy

Male here. Taking care of a child is not rocket science that men cannot master. They have been building rockets, bridges, performing surgeries, etc. But when it comes to taking care of a child the expectation seems to be that men need checklists, defining responsibilities and what not.

I would suggest just leave it up to your DH. Day 1 may be a disaster, Day 2 would be better and by Day 5 it would be just fine.

Anonymous wrote:Leave for work before anyone else gets up. He'll quickly figure it out.

When I went back to a nursing job after six years home I started at 7am and left the house at 6. Until then I had handled almost all of the morning work because my husband wasn't a morning person. Early on he screwed up a few things but he quickly developed his own routine that worked for him. It was different then mine but it got the job done. Your husband isn't a 12 year old who needs a check list.

Why don’t you ask him to pack lunches the night before? He clearly isn’t a morning person and I get how that’s frustrating, but I’m sure he would wake up ready to go at 6am if he could. So work with his strengths. I doubt he goes to bed at 9:30 and wakes up at 8 and does nothing. If he stays up later, he packs lunches the night before.

You need a written list of morning to-dos taped to the fridge. Take some time to divvy out responsibilities. Do your responsibilities and do them well. Don’t ever take over his responsibilities. Even if he sucks at them. Keep to a schedule in the morning. Like always take your shower and get dressed from 7-7:30. Don’t allow child out of room until 7:30 or later. Only serve breakfast to kid at 8am. Predictable routines and clear expectations help everyone.

Anonymous wrote:I recommend getting backpacks in order, packing lunches and laying out clothes the night before.

How old is your oldest? If he or she is 8, he or she is old enough to get dressed and to help supervise younger siblings doing the same (the 8 yo can supervise the younger sibs' teeth brushing, dressing, hair brushing, and help with breakfast). And if your kid's hair is long, please get a detangling paddle for him or to use. This will give you time to get yourself ready for work.

Why should the 8 year old have to pick up Dad's slack?

I recommend getting backpacks in order, packing lunches and laying out clothes the night before.

How old is your oldest? If he or she is 8, he or she is old enough to get dressed and to help supervise younger siblings doing the same (the 8 yo can supervise the younger sibs' teeth brushing, dressing, hair brushing, and help with breakfast). And if your kid's hair is long, please get a detangling paddle for him or to use. This will give you time to get yourself ready for work.

Don’t let him weaponize his incompetence and put all of the mental burden on you in the morning. Sit down as a family and make a morning checklist for the house + each kid.

Get dressed, put on make up, tell him he has to step up and make sure the lists are done so you can get out the door on time.

I started working out in the morning (I leave the house from 6:30-7:30am) and magically my husband learned to get out of bed before 8am and make them breakfast.

Leave for work before anyone else gets up. He'll quickly figure it out.