Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot not read. It's like meditating or exercising for my mental health. I read daily, even on super crazy days I can find 20-30 minutes somewhere.

Infants/toddlers: read during their naptimes, and in the evening after they are in bed.

Elementary school: Mostly after they went to bed, with a firm bedtime. However, I did start adjusting my books a bit so I could find books that I could read aloud to them, while still enjoying. I'm not talking about reading Magic Tree House books. I just made sure what I was reading was appropriate for them. Harry Potter, Chris Colfer's books, or classics like White Fang, Charlotte's Web, etc. Of course I would rather be reading something dark or historical, but they still enjoyed me reading to them until they were pretty old. It really helped them calm down in the evening.

MS-HS: Schedules really get busy. I read in the car while waiting for them at practices. Of course they can now self manage at home, so I have time to read if they don't have a busy schedule that day

I guess you didn’t work FTOH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

This is either hyperbole or completely nutballs. Obviously you shouldn’t ignore your children to read a book, but neither should your children require your constant attention. I read when they’re playing together or with a friend, I read when I’m nursing, I read in the school pickup line or waiting at an activity, and I listen to audiobooks while I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. I have four kids, my house is clean and tidy, I cook from scratch, and I homeschooled all last year. I also read 104 books in 2020.

OP indicated that he/she has several young kids competing for her attention. It's normal to be on a lot more with several young children because someone inevitably needs your attention even if it's not all of them 100% of the time. No, it's not reasonable to expect them to leave him/her alone to read. Nursing is different because you're just sitting there anyway so it's a great time to read. OP has to give up something else if he wants to carve out time to read, and that something can't be parenting or his job. Surely you gave up something (or don't work?) if you read so much with young kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

This is either hyperbole or completely nutballs. Obviously you shouldn’t ignore your children to read a book, but neither should your children require your constant attention. I read when they’re playing together or with a friend, I read when I’m nursing, I read in the school pickup line or waiting at an activity, and I listen to audiobooks while I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. I have four kids, my house is clean and tidy, I cook from scratch, and I homeschooled all last year. I also read 104 books in 2020.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

Anonymous wrote:I cannot not read. It's like meditating or exercising for my mental health. I read daily, even on super crazy days I can find 20-30 minutes somewhere.

Infants/toddlers: read during their naptimes, and in the evening after they are in bed.

Elementary school: Mostly after they went to bed, with a firm bedtime. However, I did start adjusting my books a bit so I could find books that I could read aloud to them, while still enjoying. I'm not talking about reading Magic Tree House books. I just made sure what I was reading was appropriate for them. Harry Potter, Chris Colfer's books, or classics like White Fang, Charlotte's Web, etc. Of course I would rather be reading something dark or historical, but they still enjoyed me reading to them until they were pretty old. It really helped them calm down in the evening.

MS-HS: Schedules really get busy. I read in the car while waiting for them at practices. Of course they can now self manage at home, so I have time to read if they don't have a busy schedule that day

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

I've been a huge reader my whole life. I do exactly what I did as a kid - carry my book with me everywhere I go and squeeze in a few minutes here and there. You know all those times you see people screwing around on their phone? In line, while waiting around, during lunch, etc? I read instead. I've also been enjoying children's books so I can read them with my kids. It's been fun re-visiting all the books I loved 25 years ago. Other than that, wake up early or do it after the kids go to bed.

Not having long periods of time to pursue your interests is just part of having kids. I'd love to spend hours reading, going for walks, taking classes, etc, but it's just not gonna happen right now. That's cool. I have maybe 15 years while my kids are little, that's 18% of my life. I can make some sacrifices.

Also, actually experiencing life - not just reading about it - has been far more important to my self-discovery and knowledge. I get way more out of reading a chapter, or listening to a podcast, and then applying to my own life, than I do out of reading an entire book of advice and knowledge I'm never gonna use. Reading is great, but it's just one very small source of connection and discovery in life. You're going to grow way more as a person by learning how to engage and connect with other, manage conflict, work as a family, etc than you will by reading a book.

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.