Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 10:22     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:I made 5x what my husband did when I met him. Well technically he was unemployed when I met him, but then he got a job. The catch was he had just finished his PhD and had potential to earn more.

When we met, I had a great career, partner track at a big consulting company. After we had kids, my heart just was not in it and I stepped back to a landing point pre-partner - and now my salary will stagnate. Thankfully he has earned more over time and our combined salary is stable. This is a balance that works for us because we both enjoy working. If he had been willing to stay home full time with the kids so I never had to worry about picking them up, sick days, running them to activities and I could go out with clients 2-3 nights a week, I would have stayed on track.

If you don’t mind being a breadwinner and these guys can step back and take care of home and kids, it might work out. If they refuse to give up their job to take on more family responsibilities and expect you to share equally while they make 1/6 the family income, you may want to reconsider because you will likely resent him.


That’s different. Your husband was working on a PhD with a potential for high earnings. Very different from someone who is in a low paying field with only a highschool education
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 10:09     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.


She’s not “above” them. She merely makes more money.


But that's how many of these guys think when they meet a women who makes more than them, she's above them and if they don't ghost spend their time trying to bring her down


Nah. Men are socialized to have a certain entitlement to women. I’ve known plenty of unemployed middle aged loser men who can’t understand why a young and attractive female lawyer wouldn’t want him. Men always think they’re good enough.


..and plenty of plane Jane average in all the wrong ways women are raised to think they are a princess.


Trying to scavenge a bit of value from this post, guys are expected to act confident, and most quickly learn that a failing to do so will almost automatically disqualify them.

So yes, there are guys who put on a big show of confidence even when they don't really have any reason to, but they don't have much choice.

Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 10:05     Subject: Re:Blue Collar vs White Collar

There is a huge range of what constitutes "blue collar," from a day laborer to police/firefighters to someone that owns their own business and is potentially quite wealthy.

If you are talking about someone on the lower end of that spectrum you are likely to have some pretty major differences in views/outlook on life. At the higher end you will find guys that have every bit as much ambition and drive as any lawyer, and often they make as much or more.

Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 10:03     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
In 2020 I made 10x what DH made. He’s 40 and a bartender. Covid was rough on him. Usually the difference is more like 5x. He reads quite a bit, keeps up with current affairs, has hobbies, is learning a trade. He’s interested in what I do and my hobbies. We have plenty to talk about. I guess the difference is I never looked at his income as the qualifier for a good relationship.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 10:01     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout. Would like to hear from people who have been in these situations, yey or nay? Would you recommend? Why or why not? I am crazy for just wanting to date people with a similar professional/financial background?


Do you think they are trying to date lots of women or have they taken the time to have conversations with you and based on those conversations they want to date you? If he’s just shooting his shot, I would probably say no. But if you’ve actually had enough conversation to get to know them as a person and vice versa, you should have enough info to know if you have enough in common for a first date.


Some I met randomly so I am not sure. Others I talk to on dating apps, and eventually find out what they do for a living and it gives me pause, that’s why I was wondering if other women have been in that situation before
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 09:26     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
I made 5x what my husband did when I met him. Well technically he was unemployed when I met him, but then he got a job. The catch was he had just finished his PhD and had potential to earn more.

When we met, I had a great career, partner track at a big consulting company. After we had kids, my heart just was not in it and I stepped back to a landing point pre-partner - and now my salary will stagnate. Thankfully he has earned more over time and our combined salary is stable. This is a balance that works for us because we both enjoy working. If he had been willing to stay home full time with the kids so I never had to worry about picking them up, sick days, running them to activities and I could go out with clients 2-3 nights a week, I would have stayed on track.

If you don’t mind being a breadwinner and these guys can step back and take care of home and kids, it might work out. If they refuse to give up their job to take on more family responsibilities and expect you to share equally while they make 1/6 the family income, you may want to reconsider because you will likely resent him.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 09:16     Subject: Re:Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 08:58     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout. Would like to hear from people who have been in these situations, yey or nay? Would you recommend? Why or why not? I am crazy for just wanting to date people with a similar professional/financial background?


Sounds mean, but avoid them. It may be fun and exciting in the beginning. But, you need to be on similar playing fields when it comes to education, career, and financials. At some point the man will resent you maybe 5x more than him or you will resent him not being able to afford things you want or want to do.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 08:17     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout. Would like to hear from people who have been in these situations, yey or nay? Would you recommend? Why or why not? I am crazy for just wanting to date people with a similar professional/financial background?


Do you think they are trying to date lots of women or have they taken the time to have conversations with you and based on those conversations they want to date you? If he’s just shooting his shot, I would probably say no. But if you’ve actually had enough conversation to get to know them as a person and vice versa, you should have enough info to know if you have enough in common for a first date.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 23:36     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.


She’s not “above” them. She merely makes more money.


But that's how many of these guys think when they meet a women who makes more than them, she's above them and if they don't ghost spend their time trying to bring her down


Nah. Men are socialized to have a certain entitlement to women. I’ve known plenty of unemployed middle aged loser men who can’t understand why a young and attractive female lawyer wouldn’t want him. Men always think they’re good enough.


Every woman thinks she deserves a 6’ 2” jacked CEO even if she’s a fat tatted 40-ish single mom.


There's the incel, he shows up on almost every relationship thread whining about fat women who want nothing to do with him.


There's the fat ugly feminist, who shows up in every thread to whine about incels.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 22:13     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Can be difficult when you have kids. But, finding most professional men hot is hard too.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 22:09     Subject: Re:Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.


Op here- I think your examples are very different. Someone who owns/runs their business would be a very different experience from someone delivering for UPS or working in a restaurant as opposed to owning the restaurant, should have been more clear in my post


PP has some great points. Plus the person that pointed out cultural differences too.

But hard no to restaurant worker. That is barely a livable salary (unless you are head chef at Michelin Star restaurant). UPS worker, perhaps. Only because every UPS man I’ve met has been interesting to talk to and kind.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 21:01     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.


She’s not “above” them. She merely makes more money.


You’re delusional. OP clearly signaled that she was above them and used income to prove that point.


Op here- I didnt say I was above them, Just that im not sure we would be compatible! I have disposable income that allows me to travel and indulge in other activities that they might not be able to afford. How would that work then? I’m also not sure there would be intellectual compatibility as our worlds would be very different: All of my circle is white collar, so this would also make it harder to navigate. I would like to hear from women who have been in these situations to hear how they worked it out


The more you talk OP, the more you demonstrate that you see yourself as above them. Sure, you use the code words so that you don’t come out and say it directly, but anyone with a brain sees where you’re going.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 20:52     Subject: Blue Collar vs White Collar
How?
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 20:04     Subject: Re:Blue Collar vs White Collar
Get to know him and then decide if you are compatible. Done.