OP, I don't think you're entirely wrong to this this way. Having been married twice, the first time way too young to a low earner who was really fun at first, but very lazy, and now to a higher earner who is hardworking and ambitious but also always on the road, and every time we are in the car together he's on a call, etc., here are my thoughts on qualities to look for in a partner:

(1) Someone with a similar work ethic (when this is out of balance, the harder working partner usually feels resentment over time);

(2) Similar ambition;

(3) Shared values over children, religion and sex;=

(4) Good communication skills or a willingness to become a good communicator; and

(4) Someone from a good family who's parents are still happily married and who takes commitment seriously.

I think with all these things, you can make a marriage work. Don't focus on this year's tax return. Take the long view.

OP, as you can see, many of the women that have HHI have a career and a great education. They met their spouses young and the salaries grew exponentially over the years. Successful smart people run in the same circles. Most often the wife is very successful herself, whether she stays on that trajectory or not is her and her spouse's option. BUT, there is always that option if one were to become disabled, die or become an a-hole and divorce.

Work on yourself. Be the best you can be and you will tend to attract similar mates and not come off as a gold-digging, dim desperado.

A requirement? GTFO, you have to be kidding me. I make 2x what my husband makes and always have. We've been perfectly happy for 20+ years. OP, you're doing it wrong

I never had a requirement but I had an MBA and I was very career oriented so I naturally gravitated toward professionals. When we got married my husband and I were making about the same amount which was very nice. Eventually his income was over $1 million and mine $300k so it worked out great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well DH made half of the first number when we first met 10 years ago and now makes 4x the second number. So I think your thought process is failed.

Similar. Fwiw, he was making $30k when I met him and I was making $40k (1996). He now makes $450k and I make $175k. I did 'mommy track' eventually so I could WAH full-time instead of WOH. It's been great for our family. I had the more flexible job so it made sense to do it this way.

OP shows why dumb, unambitious women have a hard time finding a decent husband. They don't even understand the job market/earning potential, etc.

Very, very few have a 'starting salary' close to that. My niece with a medical degree/Dr from Hopkins is currently making $60k. Lawyers fresh out of law school are not making $150k.

You are looking for older men not your peers if you are looking for a husband in your mid-late 20s, when it is the best market for finding a mate with no baggage, e.g., prior marriage or kids.

Anonymous wrote:Well DH made half of the first number when we first met 10 years ago and now makes 4x the second number. So I think your thought process is failed.

Similar. Fwiw, he was making $30k when I met him and I was making $40k (1996). He now makes $450k and I make $175k. I did 'mommy track' eventually so I could WAH full-time instead of WOH. It's been great for our family. I had the more flexible job so it made sense to do it this way.

Anonymous wrote:All the posters support the OP's point lol. They are all boasting they "didn't marry for money" but zeroed in on someone smart with earning potential and voila, they are now rich and very very happy.

I am one of those posters and was also engaged to (and dumped guy) a guy who planned on becoming a social worker. And even if you marry somebody in law school the chances of getting a partner who will wind up earning more than 100K right away are slim (depending on the school of course).

I am honestly not sure what the OP (or you) is trying to say. Women have unreasonable expectations for their potential partners…and women who did marry for high earning potential are now “very, very happy?”

Of course this requirement only applies to affluent metropolitan areas. In rural South Dakota, the requirement might be he has his own tractor.

This is a stupid question. There are plenty of hardworking, great men who are lower earners due to the career they chose (teacher, non-profit, etc.) Says nothing about their work ethic or drive. We as women should be focused on making our own money, not depending on a man to fund us.

All the posters support the OP's point lol. They are all boasting they "didn't marry for money" but zeroed in on someone smart with earning potential and voila, they are now rich and very very happy.

Holy shit, OP. What is wrong with you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are such bad liars.

A woman married to a 30 year old Sales engineer with a trust fund AND who brings in at least 200k per year, not including bonus, nonchalantly says, "oh, I don't care much for money"

LOL That is why you specifically selected for a guy who had the kind of degree and job prospects to give you the life you want in addition to ensuring he had generational wealth.

? How many men do you think come from money such that all these women out there are only picking those men? Yes, *people* with money are catches. You think women from family money aren't great catches?

There is a lot of money in the DC area. If you marry a boy who grew up in McLean/Bethesda/Great Falls/Vienna/Oakton you are sure to marry the type.

Anonymous wrote:I went to law school planning to find a spouse. I would only have dated someone biglaw bound. DH is now a partner. I don’t regret anything.

Ah the archaic Mrs. degree. I hope the financial investment was worth it.

Well DH made half of the first number when we first met 10 years ago and now makes 4x the second number. So I think your thought process is failed.