Anonymous wrote:I did it. We were building a house and it took a ton of time. Dh made 10x more than I did, and I was miserable in my job. Over 1/2 my income went to taxes anyway, so we figured why even bother? It’s much less stressful or both of us.

What about accruing earning potential? Retirement? I would be concerned about ever trying to work in the future and not having talking points on my resume. Like the other thread on SAHMs mentioned, marriage provides a fake sense of stability.

Anonymous wrote:I have an autoimmune disorder, and stay at home for now, while I try to get it under control. I would assume the partner staying at home may an issue that makes it difficult to work, not that this is their preferred role.

And, we don't have kids due to infertility, which I don't tend to share unless I am close to someone. Because of my illness, diagnosed later, we decided not to adopt because I just don't have the energy.

I worked before we moved to the DC area, but just don't shave the energy to work and commute here. Getting ready to retool to see if I can find a remote job, as my former career is not remote friendly.

You have no idea what someone's situation is OP.

I have an autoimmune disorder, and stay at home for now, while I try to get it under control. I would assume the partner staying at home may an issue that makes it difficult to work, not that this is their preferred role.

Why would anyone "wonder" about this? Are there other lifestyles you wonder about or feel judgy about? Are SAHWs the ones you think about most or are there other types of people you feel negatively enough about that you'd start a thread over? I have seen a trend with people who feel certain ways about SAHW/Ms versus those who feel neutral or don't think any way about it despite their own preferences.

I did it. We were building a house and it took a ton of time. Dh made 10x more than I did, and I was miserable in my job. Over 1/2 my income went to taxes anyway, so we figured why even bother? It’s much less stressful or both of us.

I know one. She has some mental health issues, apparently. Her husband is completely at her beck-and-call - not allowed to have his own life outside of work. I find it utterly weird.

I know a wife who couldn’t work because of immigration issues, and another who had health issues that she didn’t share openly. There can be solid reasons for a situation like this that wouldn’t be apparent to outsiders.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure she worked once and I'm sure she will work again. you might be looking at a small time frame of her life. Good for them if that works for them.
Extra money and/or frugal lifestyle allows for this usually.

Or a DH that makes enough to NGAF.

I'm sure she worked once and I'm sure she will work again. you might be looking at a small time frame of her life. Good for them if that works for them.
Extra money and/or frugal lifestyle allows for this usually.

DH has wanted me to stay home for years, but I thought the money I brought in was crucial. I’m home right now as I undergo cancer treatments and I’m bored a lot. It might be different if I could run around volunteering, go to lunch with friends, or do fun things outdoors. However, it’s a pandemic so my oncologist wants me to avoid crowds and I’m too tired to hike every day. Once the breakfast dishes are clean, it’s a long day to fill until my kids return from school.

I agree with the posters who say you never really know what the situation is. A lot of people may have health issues that you can't see.

There's no moral high ground for working just for the sake of working. If the couple can afford for the wife not to work and she doesn't want to, then good for them. It's extremely rare for the wife to come out ahead in the division of labor, so I'm not sure why we're focusing on denigrating the few women who do less rather than the millions of men who do less.

I have a family member who is a SAHW with no children. The reality is she’s bipolar and can’t hold down a job that would make any decent amount of money. It’s smoother for all involved for her to be a housewife rather than for her mental health to go down the toilet for $10/hour.

My SIL (DH’s sister) is like this and she doesn’t want kids so there won’t be any in the future. She has never worked. She has some family money but is also very good about saving money and is incredibly financially responsible (no debt at all) so she isn’t out spending it whatsoever.

She has a long history with depression and bipolar which plays into her lack of desire to work or really leave her house much. She spends a tremendous amount of time gardening, reading and cooking. She is a very nice person and I’ve always liked her so to me it is just how she is. Her husband has zero issue with it and they’re very happy together.

It would never work for me but I just MYOB.

If she doesn't need the money or the career fulfillment, why would she work? I have an ex bf who sits on his ass all day and plays video games bc he is a trust fund kid. I get the shivers when I think about it, but to each his own...

Anonymous wrote:It's not for me. I don't care what other people do when it doesn't affect me.

+1. I know a few women who SAH but don’t have kids. We don’t really have anything in common so make small talk when we see each other.