Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a very thin mom, I am green with envy. Does this mean, I need to lose weight? I’m not that heavy myself but I’m still jealous for some reason. Does anyone know the healthy response?

I think the healthy response is that health, not weight, should be our goal. As we age our bodies will deteriorate to a degree and being healthy has an impact on that. It's a common assumption that heavy people are unhealthy but being too thin can also be unhealthy.

Oh goodness this. I know plenty of "skinny fat" moms that look better in a bathing suit than me, but have zero muscle and can't go on a 2 mile hike with their kids or play a game of soccer without getting winded. That lack of health will catch up with them faster than someone who is fit but 10 pounds over their preferred weight. I eat very well and exercise multiple times a week, and my weight naturally hovers right on the line between normal and overweight. I could restrict my already healthy diet and drop a size or two, but I focus on doing better on the Peleton or at yoga, and appreciate my body for what it can do, not what it looks like.

I think it's natural to have some jealousy of people who can put in zero effort for something you have to work for, but if it's more than a passing feeling, then that's about you and isn't healthy. Try to appreciate yourself and if you have room for improvement, then work on that because it will make you healthier, not to look better than others.

“Yes I envy women thinner than me but instead of just dealing with my own self esteem issues, I call them ‘skinny fat’ in my head and judge them for being less healthy than me, based on a bunch of stuff I assume but can’t possibly know about their bodies and lifestyle, and also I’ve decided being envious is ‘natural’ and therefore fine— I am perfect and those skinny moms are not. Ha!”

Stop rationalizing this. Their bodies, fitness, and health are none of your business. Did you know some people struggle to gain or maintain weight due to both physical and mental conditions? Are those people still “skinny fat” to you? You need to find a way to feel okay with your body that does not involve putting others down. This is a really toxic attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a very thin mom, I am green with envy. Does this mean, I need to lose weight? I’m not that heavy myself but I’m still jealous for some reason. Does anyone know the healthy response?

I think the healthy response is that health, not weight, should be our goal. As we age our bodies will deteriorate to a degree and being healthy has an impact on that. It's a common assumption that heavy people are unhealthy but being too thin can also be unhealthy.

Oh goodness this. I know plenty of "skinny fat" moms that look better in a bathing suit than me, but have zero muscle and can't go on a 2 mile hike with their kids or play a game of soccer without getting winded. That lack of health will catch up with them faster than someone who is fit but 10 pounds over their preferred weight. I eat very well and exercise multiple times a week, and my weight naturally hovers right on the line between normal and overweight. I could restrict my already healthy diet and drop a size or two, but I focus on doing better on the Peleton or at yoga, and appreciate my body for what it can do, not what it looks like.

I think it's natural to have some jealousy of people who can put in zero effort for something you have to work for, but if it's more than a passing feeling, then that's about you and isn't healthy. Try to appreciate yourself and if you have room for improvement, then work on that because it will make you healthier, not to look better than others.

“Yes I envy women thinner than me but instead of just dealing with my own self esteem issues, I call them ‘skinny fat’ in my head and judge them for being less healthy than me, based on a bunch of stuff I assume but can’t possibly know about their bodies and lifestyle, and also I’ve decided being envious is ‘natural’ and therefore fine— I am perfect and those skinny moms are not. Ha!”

Stop rationalizing this. Their bodies, fitness, and health are none of your business. Did you know some people struggle to gain or maintain weight due to both physical and mental conditions? Are those people still “skinny fat” to you? You need to find a way to feel okay with your body that does not involve putting others down. This is a really toxic attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a very thin mom, I am green with envy. Does this mean, I need to lose weight? I’m not that heavy myself but I’m still jealous for some reason. Does anyone know the healthy response?

I think the healthy response is that health, not weight, should be our goal. As we age our bodies will deteriorate to a degree and being healthy has an impact on that. It's a common assumption that heavy people are unhealthy but being too thin can also be unhealthy.

Oh goodness this. I know plenty of "skinny fat" moms that look better in a bathing suit than me, but have zero muscle and can't go on a 2 mile hike with their kids or play a game of soccer without getting winded. That lack of health will catch up with them faster than someone who is fit but 10 pounds over their preferred weight. I eat very well and exercise multiple times a week, and my weight naturally hovers right on the line between normal and overweight. I could restrict my already healthy diet and drop a size or two, but I focus on doing better on the Peleton or at yoga, and appreciate my body for what it can do, not what it looks like.

I think it's natural to have some jealousy of people who can put in zero effort for something you have to work for, but if it's more than a passing feeling, then that's about you and isn't healthy. Try to appreciate yourself and if you have room for improvement, then work on that because it will make you healthier, not to look better than others.

“Yes I envy women thinner than me but instead of just dealing with my own self esteem issues, I call them ‘skinny fat’ in my head and judge them for being less healthy than me, based on a bunch of stuff I assume but can’t possibly know about their bodies and lifestyle, and also I’ve decided being envious is ‘natural’ and therefore fine— I am perfect and those skinny moms are not. Ha!”

Stop rationalizing this. Their bodies, fitness, and health are none of your business. Did you know some people struggle to gain or maintain weight due to both physical and mental conditions? Are those people still “skinny fat” to you? You need to find a way to feel okay with your body that does not involve putting others down. This is a really toxic attitude.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I used to have a body that I thought was okay. Not great, not skinny but not fat. But I really disliked my arms. I was reluctant to wear tank tops because they seemed too large. I worked out a lot, so I thought, well I'm fit, so it's okay.

But I wasn't confident, and I finally decided that if I'm not confident and I'm hiding, I needed to make a change.

So it was hard but I lost weight, went from a size 8 to a size 2, and got really cut arms.

When you feel jealous of someone, you could try to explain away the jealousy, or imagine that they are not worth the envy. Or, you can say to yourself, what is this feeling telling me about what my actual goals and desires are? And how can that help me make changes that I will be happy about?

Anonymous wrote:I think the healthy response is to recognize that there will always be people who have what you want. More money, naturally thin body, better job, whatever. And there are people who want what comes easily to you.

I have a healthy size 8 body but I wish I was a size 2. Realistically, that is not going to happen. So I try not to dwell on it, and appreciate what I have, which is a lot.

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I do, I think: I would love to be that skinny so I could eat whatever I wanted until I got to my normal weight again. My husband is always amused by this.

I am fit/thin/athletic with a slow metabolism so I assume they have a fast metabolism. That's my envy---to be able to work out less and eat more! I work my butt off 6 days per week and healthy diet to maintain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a very thin mom, I am green with envy. Does this mean, I need to lose weight? I’m not that heavy myself but I’m still jealous for some reason. Does anyone know the healthy response?

I think the healthy response is that health, not weight, should be our goal. As we age our bodies will deteriorate to a degree and being healthy has an impact on that. It's a common assumption that heavy people are unhealthy but being too thin can also be unhealthy.

Oh goodness this. I know plenty of "skinny fat" moms that look better in a bathing suit than me, but have zero muscle and can't go on a 2 mile hike with their kids or play a game of soccer without getting winded. That lack of health will catch up with them faster than someone who is fit but 10 pounds over their preferred weight. I eat very well and exercise multiple times a week, and my weight naturally hovers right on the line between normal and overweight. I could restrict my already healthy diet and drop a size or two, but I focus on doing better on the Peleton or at yoga, and appreciate my body for what it can do, not what it looks like.

I think it's natural to have some jealousy of people who can put in zero effort for something you have to work for, but if it's more than a passing feeling, then that's about you and isn't healthy. Try to appreciate yourself and if you have room for improvement, then work on that because it will make you healthier, not to look better than others.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the point of being thin/skinny.

Fit? Yes, because being fit implies that the person has some capacity with their physique - there are things they can do and are capable of with their body, which is admirable. Thin/skinny is pointless to me. Like seriously, what's the point?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be jealous of me. I am skinny because of stress. I’d trade a simpler life for a few pounds.

+1, but swap stress for anxiety.

Well, I am anxious and fat--and in my case. my fatness is largely a result of my anxiety. I exercise every day but when I get stressed, I cannot stop eating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be jealous of me. I am skinny because of stress. I’d trade a simpler life for a few pounds.

+1, but swap stress for anxiety.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a very thin mom, I am green with envy. Does this mean, I need to lose weight? I’m not that heavy myself but I’m still jealous for some reason. Does anyone know the healthy response?

I think the healthy response is that health, not weight, should be our goal. As we age our bodies will deteriorate to a degree and being healthy has an impact on that. It's a common assumption that heavy people are unhealthy but being too thin can also be unhealthy.